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I had never seen Mother like this before.
Not truly.
Oh, I'd seen her angry plenty of tis.
I'd seen her scowl at nobles who displeased her, sneer at commoners who wasted her ti, even rage at Felix when his plans failed.
But this… this was different.
She was quiet.
That was what scared the most.
Her hands, always poised, always graceful, trembled ever so slightly as she adjusted the golden embroidery on her sleeves.
Her eyes—those sharp, calculating violet eyes I had inherited—were dark with sothing I couldn't quite na.
And her lips, usually curved in either amusent or disdain, were pressed into a thin, colorless line.
She wasn't just angry.
She was furious.
And it all was my fault.
I sat stiffly on the cushioned chair in her chambers, watching as she paced before . The long train of her robe dragged against the polished floor, the candlelight flickering off the fine silk.
Still, she didn't say a word.
A part of wanted to beg for her to speak, to just yell at , to say sothing—but another part of knew that whatever she was thinking, whatever words she was trying to hold back, would be worse than any rage she could throw at .
Finally, after what felt like an eternity, she stopped pacing.
Slowly, she turned to face .
"Lucas."
I flinched at the way she said my na. It wasn't with warmth. Not even cold anger. It was just… exhaustion.
"Do you understand what you've done?"
I opened my mouth—then hesitated.
Did I?
"I…" I swallowed. "I did what I had to do."
Her jaw tightened.
"What you had to do?" she repeated, voice dangerously soft.
"Do you think I wanted you to expose like that? In front of Venus? In front of Uncle Roderic? In front of that entire cursed room?"
I felt my hands clench against my lap.
"You think I wanted to do it?" I shot back. "Mother, we had no choice! If I hadn't spoken first, Venus would've had us cornered!
He would've crushed us! But now, because I turned the conversation our way, he's giving us a chance."
"A chance?" Her laugh was sharp, humorless. "A chance? Lucas, darling, what have I told you about n like Venus?"
My lips parted—
"Never negotiate with them."
She cut off before I could answer.
"Never play fair with them. Never wait for them to give you an opportunity. You take what is yours. And if you can't, you destroy everything before they do it first."
I took a shaky breath.
"I know that," I said quietly. "But not this ti, Mother. Not with Sylvie here. Not with Noah. We didn't even know she was still alive, let alone that she would return stronger than before."
Her face twisted slightly, as if the very thought of Sylvie's existence left a bad taste in her mouth.
For a mont, she said nothing.
Then, her fingers brushed along the edge of the vanity beside her.
"You think you're so smart," she murmured. "You think you've saved ."
I lifted my head.
"I did save you."
Her nails tapped against the wood.
"And what if I didn't want to be saved?"
Silence.
I inhaled sharply, searching her expression—desperate to understand what she ant, desperate to find sothing I could hold on to.
But there was nothing.
Only the woman who had raised .
The woman I loved more than anything.
The woman I had spent my entire life wanting to please.
And she… she was looking at as if I had taken sothing from her.
Sothing she wasn't ready to lose.
A lump ford in my throat.
"I did it for you, Mother," I whispered. "I always do it for you."
For the first ti, sothing in her face softened.
And that—that was what I needed.
I could take her anger. I could take her disappointnt. I could take the feeling of being a pawn in her eyes.
But I could not take her indifference.
Because even if she was angry… even if she resented for this…
At least she still cared.
She let out a slow breath, her expression unreadable.
"I love you, Lucas," she murmured. "You know that, don't you?"
My chest tightened.
"Of course," I said instantly.
She smiled, though it didn't quite reach her eyes.
"Then understand," she said, her voice as gentle as silk, "I cannot lose the throne."
My hands curled into fists.
"You won't."
Her gaze flickered toward , cautious.
"I won't let you."
For the first ti, her smile felt real.
And then—
She tilted her head, studying with sothing strange in her eyes.
Sothing sad.
Sothing almost… wistful.
"You always say you'll do anything for ," she murmured.
I nodded.
"I would."
Her fingers traced over the gilded edges of the vanity.
"Then I wonder…"
She turned to , and for a brief mont, I felt sothing cold grip my spine.
Not fear.
Not shock.
Just sothing wrong.
Sothing I couldn't understand.
"Would you do anything I ask of you," she said softly. "Even if you knew the evil deeds I did for the throne?"
She paused.
And then—
Her lips curved.
"Even if you knew that I killed my husband?"
The air in the room stilled.
I forgot how to breathe.
Everything inside went quiet.
She didn't move.
Didn't blink.
Didn't look like she had just said sothing horrifying.
And yet—
And yet my mind refused to process it.
I swallowed, my throat dry.
"What…?"
She sighed, brushing imaginary dust off her robe.
"You heard ."
I did.
I did.
And yet I couldn't… understand.
She had—
She had killed—
No.
I squeezed my eyes shut.
No, no, no.
I had never thought of my father. Not once. He had always been a vague, absent figure in my life, a man whose na I never cared to rember.
But now—
Now, his absence ant sothing.
I opened my eyes, looking at her.
Looking at the woman I had worshipped.
The woman I had trusted.
And she…
She was still smiling.
"Lucas," she said sweetly. "What's wrong?"
I swallowed the vomit rising up my throat.
Nothing.
Nothing was wrong.
Because I had already chosen her.
I had already decided.
It didn't matter what she had done.
It didn't matter what she would do.
She was my mother.
And I—
I would win the throne.
For her.
Only for her.
Always for her.
Even if I didn't understand her.
Even if I never could.
Because love was blind.
And for her?
I was ready to drown in it.
***
A/N: Dear readers, I'd hope y'all could help in polishing Noah's sword —
With this, I start a new event!!
The sword polishing event for the n's and won's of culture—
For every 1000 coins worth gift = 1 Bonus Chapter.
For every Magic Castle and above = 6-9 Bonus Chapters!!
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