Considering how hard I'm struggling to not be violent, I really would have appreciated it if violence didn't cleanly solve my problems. Yet after establishing dominance on lik and Gina, I was barely even reprimanded.
I was reprimanded, at least a little. Not because I shattered multiple ribs in two of my fellow trainees and damaged their lungs enough that they might have died without biomantic support, though. No, I just got a slap on the wrist for that (which is a strange taphor). Instead, people mainly got mad because my 'excessive force' damaged the barracks. lik and Gina, anwhile, got thoroughly chewed out (which is a terrifying taphor) for provoking .
The next day, I was back to classes as usual, except now those classes were significantly more enjoyable due to the absence of lik and Gina. A couple days later, lik and Gina were back for everything other than the combat classes, including returning to our dorm room. She's been ignoring , but honestly? That's so of the best treatnt I've gotten from Gina since we first t. lik glares daggers at (a confusing taphor) every ti I walk by, which is a little hurtful but pretty tolerable overall. So after all that, after I hurt so people on purpose after all this ti life just goes on.
"Hey Lark," Xavier says, nearly unintelligible since his mouth is completely full of food. "You've got your depressed face on."
I blink in surprise, glancing sheepishly across the table at him and Bently. We're in the cafeteria together, as Xavier finally managed to convince to eat with them. I've got my armor mostly off, and underneath the table I'm busying my lower two arms learning to weave more complex clothing with my webs than 'wrappings and cloak.'
"Sorry," I mutter, grabbing an unconscious mouse from my food box and swallowing it whole.
"Hey, none of that," Xavier chides lightly. "You got nothing to be sorry for, so no apologies."
"I know, I know," I grumble. "Sorry."
I jolt slightly as I realize what I've just said, and Xavier busts out laughing.
"Hard habit to break, isn't it?" He smirks. "Seriously though, you good? You wanna talk about it?"
I sigh through my nose, flicking my ear as I glance away.
"Not really," I mumble. "I'm just thinking about Gina and lik again."
"You an how you trounced them two on one like a complete badass?" Xavier prods, knowing that's not right because we've talked about this before.
"No! I seriously injured both of them, but they got harsher punishnts than I did," I press. "I don't like it. I should be punished."
"They made you fix the ss you made in the courtyard by yourself," Bently chis in between bites.
"That's not a punishnt, that's just work," I dismiss. "I got it done overnight."
"Which is to say you labored non-stop, by yourself, in the dark, during the entire twelve-hour nightti of Titan's Discus," Xavier smirks.
"We would have helped if you'd just asked us!" Bently frowns.
"That's why I didn't ask you," I say flatly. "You need sleep, I don't. I'm just saying, it feels weird. I know that Harvey vouched for and went over how lik and Gina pretty much wouldn't take no for an answer, but I should have gone to a superior or sothing instead of breaking their ribs. Hardly anyone seed to care, though. Our combat instructor seed happy!"
"I think he's happy because you're putting more effort into his class," Bently says quietly. "You never really fought back in spars until recently."
"...Well, now I know exactly how fragile you humans are," I admit, swallowing another mouse. "I don't have to worry about hurting you as much."
Xavier suddenly starts laughing.
"Shit, I love how you're not even joking," he chuckles. "You just bust out lines like that with such seriousness!"
"Language," I grumble, and he laughs again. "And why wouldn't I be serious? It's absolutely terrifying being around people all the ti. If I kick soone too hard, my foot goes through their torso. If I twitch my quills at the wrong ti I could cut soone in half. When Bently punched in the face during our spar yesterday I nearly bit his hand clean off!"
"Sorry," Bently says quietly.
"No, no!" I insist quickly. "I'm fine, Bently, it was a great hit. You surprised !"
"See?" Xavier says smugly, waving his food-filled fork at . "Friends apologizing for things they shouldn't doesn't feel good."
I let out a long sigh. I get it, I just wish Xavier would stop repeating himself. If there's one thing that's really starting to frustrate about humans, it's how often they repeat themselves. I slurp down my last two mice, glowering slightly at Xavier as he watches with a slightly uncomfortable amount of fascination.
"You should honestly get so cafeteria food," Xavier says, thankfully changing the subject. "You're entitled to a portion, as a trainee."
I frown slightly at the image of trying to eat any of that disgusting slop, absentmindedly patting my own belly in sympathy. Pretty much anything that isn't alive tastes equally terrible to , and if I swallow sothing that doesn't really feed it still vanishes from the inside of my body like anything else does, but the idea of actually eating the vaguely white mush Xavier and Bently devour by the bowl fills with a special kind of revulsion.
"I literally can't digest that stuff," I remind him. "It doesn't help at all."
"Yeah, but then you could give it to Bently and I," Xavier points out, wiggling his eyebrows.
I curl up the talons of one foot, anxiously tapping my toe knuckles on the floor.
"I'll think about it. Though on the subject of gluttony, I should probably see if Lady Vesuvius would be willing to increase my food allotnt. Four mice feels like it's not taking the edge off as much anymore. It's like my stomach is getting annoyed with for only feeding it the bare minimum possible."
Xavier nods in an understanding manner, wolfing down more of his 'food.'
"Well if you ever start feeling a bit too munchy," he says after swallowing, "feel free to swallow one of my hands. Especially if it's before a big test; I can always use the extra study ti."
I stiffen, montarily paralyzed by a wretched mix of mory and temptation. He said it was okay. He said it was okay. That ans I can, right? It would be fine. Lady Vesuvius could heal him without issue, I bet. It would it agh.
No.
"Xavier," I say firmly. "Please don't ever joke about that again."
He blinks, nodding slowly.
"Alright," he concedes. "I won't. My bad."
"Thank you."
I stand up, my body shaking a little as it screams to hunt. With a twitch of my claws I cut the threads of my weaving project free from hands, draping the half-finished sleeve-thing over my shoulder as I turn to walk away.
"Hey, Lark?" Bently calls out, stopping in my tracks. My ears are flat against my head and it's an effort of will to not extend my quills at him. Which would not be appropriate because he is my friend, even though I tried to kill him that one ti.
"I think it's really, really cool how hard you try," Bently continues.
"Can confirm," Xavier chis in. "You're pretty cool. Don't forget it!"
I sigh.
"So you've both told ," I say flatly. "Over a dozen tis each. Why do you keep repeating it?"
"Because I know 'incredibly depressed and in desperate need of positive reinforcent' when I see it," Xavier says, and though I'm not facing him I can practically feel him make a lopsided grin. "So if you want to stop, you're going to have to start believing . Or just be good enough at hiding it that I don't notice anymore, I guess. It'd be unfair of to not allow that strategy."
I glance back at him and raise an eyebrow. Sure enough, he's flashing a sardonic grin my way. I do like Xavier, but tis like these I find him really, really hard to understand. He can be a lot.
"I'll be okay," I reassure him. "I just need to move around a little before we go to history class."
Not entirely accurate, but it's a much easier thing to say than 'I plan to go get down on six limbs in the courtyard and vibrate my quills until I'm nothing but a frozen, black circle pulsing in the daylight.' I wish they absorbed sound like they do light and heat, so I could also spend the ti screaming.
Still, I feel better after stretching my back a bit, though I wish I had a hot bath to do it in. I suppose I'm technically allowed in the baths in the barracks, but I accidentally terrified a few people when I tried it a few days ago. Plus, they just aren't that warm, and generally nowhere near as nice as Galdra's bath. Hopefully I'll figure out how to channel soon and can learn so thermomancy.
Once I'm fairly certain class will start in five minutes or so, I quickly wind down, ceasing my quill's vibrations and standing back up on two legs, stretching the rest of my body. Soone else entered the courtyard and stopped nearby, but I'm a bit surprised when I glance over and realize she's been staring at , possibly the whole ti she's been here. It's a woman of middling height, light brown skin, brown eyes, brown hair, and a barely perceptible collection of small scars around her face, particularly her eyes and nose, that look like they're from fingernails. On her back she carries a set of full Templar armor, strapped up for transport and adorned with the black stripes of the Inquisition. In one hand she has a thick stack of papers. She steps forward and she extends her other gloved hand to shake, giving a tired smile.
"You must be Lark, then," the woman says.
I splay my toes a bit, trying to hide my nervousness as I reach out to accept her handshake. I've never seen this lady before in my life, but I suppose anyone in this part of the barracks is cleared to know about . She slls quite weak, though, at least by Templar standards.
She'd go down in under a second. Easy al.
"That's ," I say out loud, letting her control the speed and force of the handshake. Sothing about this woman seems odd, and I'm not quite sure how to put my finger on it.
"Inquisitor Captain Jelisaveta, I suppose," she introduces herself. "In the coming days I'll be replacing High Templar Galdra Karthala as your escort? The docuntation says 'handler,' but I don't really like that wording."
I open my mouth to say sothing, but no words co out so I close it again. What? Is Galdra leaving? I but she's been so nice to . It's sad to have her unexpectedly replaced like this, but more important than that
"...You are a terrible replacent for the High Templar, ma'am," I say frankly.
The woman seems more curious than offended. Her eyes flick quickly over , darting across my body for so purpose I can't divine.
"What makes you say that?" she asks .
"Galdra is a deterrent," I say. "Galdra can stop if I try to hurt people. You can't."
"Ah," Captain Jelisaveta allows understandingly. "Is that a problem that's co up recently? Or do you plan to go around eating people now that she's away?"
"Whno!" I protest imdiately. "No, I I an, I did injure a couple of my fellow trainees, but I didn't bite them or anything. I'm not I don't want to hurt anyone, ma'am."
She starts to respond, but a yawn cuts her off. I wait for her to continue.
"Well, how about you just do a favor and continue not hurting anyone, then?" she asks blandly. "My room in the barracks is across from yours. Knock if you want or need to go anywhere. I'm taking a nap."
With that, she departs, leaving speechless. I suppose I have sowhere to be, though, so I show up to history class monts before it starts, taking my seat and imdiately restarting on my weaving project. I'm getting faster and faster at reading, and these classes seem to just be the instructor rambling about the things we were assigned to read beforehand anyway. Said instructor doesn't seem to like it very much, but I've given up trying to get her to like .
"Today is going to be a little different from usual," she says, causing to twist my ears her way. "Though we'll still be reviewing the material you were assigned tomorrow, we're going to do a surprise segnt on much more recent history: the Ars crisis."
Hmm. I don't know what that is, so I stop weaving and look up.
"I know that all of you were alive during this period, which makes it a sowhat strange subject to cover in a Church History class. But arguably it is because of the strong emotions tied to that fraught period in Valka's relatively brief life as a country that we must look back and re-examine it with fresh eyes, as openly and with as little bias as we can muster. Not that the unbiased telling of events paints Ars as anything less than an unrepentant, blasphemous monster, either."
I hesitantly raise my hand to ask permission to speak. The instructor glowers at a little, but calls my na.
"What is it, Lark?" she asks.
"I, um, don't believe I was alive for this period," I say hesitantly. "Unless it just never reached the places I was living?"
I can almost feel the rest of the class wonder how old I am before coming to the inevitable conclusion. I try not to wince. Humans always act strangely about my age.
"Well," the instructor sighs, "this actually presents us with a convenient segue. Much like our current crisis with the vrothizo, the threat had been out there, growing in strength for years, but only when it was dropped on top of our heads did we truly beco aware of the extent of the danger."
My ears go flat against my head, but I shut up as the instructor continues to speak.
"Ars was a master animancer, specializing in the creation of enslaved soul amalgamations and subverting his enemies into allies. Before we beca aware of the crisis, he had already beco a First Lord and High Inquisitor, likely through the corruption of his betters. For all his faults, however, he was clever and subtle. It is entirely possible that we would have never noticed his perversion were he not betrayed by two of his own creations, Manus and Interitus. Together, they secretly compiled proof of Ars' wrongdoing and released it as publicly as possible, preventing Ars from using animancy to wipe the problem away by simply creating too many people who knew the truth. This worked, and the purging of Ars' evil began in earnest though with the downside of inciting the people of Valka into a nearly uncontrollable panic."
She flicks her fingers rapidly, and soon an illusory scene springs to life in front of her: a street afla, Templars trapped between an angry mob and other, Ars-corrupted Templars.
"Ars leaned into this chaos," the instructor continues, "and the first part of the Ars crisis began in earnest. He would alter the minds of people seemingly at random, turning them into assassins or double-agents in public ways that demanded attention from the Templars, splitting our forces while he corrupted more and more of us on the side. Many of the most talented mbers of the Inquisition were his puppets, and they spread their influence to nearly half the Inquisition's numbers, abusing a weakness in the decontamination procedures of the ti to slip ntal influence by our people unnoticed. Eventually, a new thod of detecting and decontaminating an individual from Ars' influence was formalized. These procedures, developed by the now-current High Inquisitor Shamil, ford the backbone of our ability to fight against Ars' mind-bending influence. Rather than running around desperately trying to put out taphorical and literal fires, we could establish a secure and reliable force with which to go on the offensive."
The illusory scene changes, now showing squads of Templars sizing up against twisted caricatures of what I assu to be Ars and his followers.
"Unfortunately, while the Inquisition was inoculated against his influence, they lacked the numbers to protect everyone in Skyhope from his control. Ars cared little for collateral damage, teleporting around the city using the abilities of one of his splices, working on what he could, and escaping before the Inquisition could catch him. Eventually, however, we out-predicted him, and the first official kill on Ars is attributed to High Templar Braum the Ubiquitous."
A ripple of confusion and worry pulses through the room, and our instructor smiles grimly.
"Yes, you heard right," she says. "The first kill. Thus we get to the second half of the Ars crisis: where it was revealed the man had the ability to take new bodies upon death. Most of the general public doesn't know about this, but thanks to Inquisitor Captain Manus we discovered Ars was alive and well before it was too late. Rumors of this ability escaped, but we did our best to quash them and control the public terror that followed. It is, however, real, and over the course of the continued crisis that followedwhich was publicly blad on the chaos caused by the splices and other Ars-loyalists still active following his initial deathArs was slain in battle no less than five other tis, only to reappear as soone new. We nad the epheral, body-hopping monster Ars turned himself into 'Lich,' and devoted ourselves to stopping it. To end the crisis, our High Templars worked with Inquisitor Captain Manus in order to capture Ars alive, trapping him in his own body rather than allowing him to take a new one and escape again."
The final illusion shows a man wrapped in restraints, being taken out of the city and locked away. Then, it winks out, the instructor clasping her hands behind her back as she looks out at the class.
"Now, the more thoughtful among you are asking yourselves: why are we discussing this now? Well, as I'm sure you know, a few days ago our city entered a skirmish with a powerful necromancer. This necromancer single-handedly defeated three of our army's tactical officers by herself, killing two of them before fleeing. Before her escape, however, she identified herself as 'Vita.' The sa na as the child of Ars Rainier, and now confird to be history's second Lich. It is believed that Ars himself is free as well, though his whereabouts are unknown."
The instructor casts a sad smile over the class.
"One could argue you picked a rather poor ti to join the Templars," she admits. "Should you graduate, you can expect yourselves to be facing not only Hiverock's brood, but the revival of the greatest threat of our generation. Obviously, everything you've learned today is top secret, and revealing it to anyone outside this barracks is grounds for imdiate expulsion from the trainee program and serious punishnt on top of that."
Questions and answers start to fly around , though most of my attention is stolen as I glance towards Bently, who looks almost physically ill at the news. Vita. She's back, she's alive. I'd heard the rumors, but to have it spelled out so plainly in front of ? It's a chilling feeling, knowing the monster I owe my life to still prowls around. I wish I wish I had a better impression of who she is. Should I talk with Bently? It might help him to have soone to talk to about Vita, but this seems pretty personal and I'd really just be doing it for my own curiosity
The question is mostly irrelevant, I guess, because we're too busy to start a conversation as we sit through class after class. Different people treat the news differently; Gina and Xavier don't seem to be affected much, Harvey is well, as hard for to read as always, but to my surprise, lik of all people seems extra disturbed. He barely even glares at for the whole rest of the day.
After class I'm no less busy. I have an appointnt with Lady Vesuvius, which ans I need to promptly get all my armor back on, return to the dorms, and well, normally I would wait for Lady Karthala, but I suppose I need to knock on Captain Jelisaveta's door instead. I do so, then wait silently as I feel her wake up. It doesn't take her long, just a minute or so and she's finished dressing, at the door.
"You need sothing, Trainee?" she asks, and I get that weird feeling again. What is oh! She doesn't recognize because of the armor, I bet.
"It's Lark, ma'am," I remind her helpfully.
"I know," she says. "We t what, a few hours ago? Do you have sowhere you need to be?"
She's in uniform, so I can't see her expression, but I guess I was just wrong? She recognized through my disguise sohow. Which is weird because because gah, I don't know! She just acts weird! She's so nonchalant!
"I have an appointnt with my assigned biomancer, First Lady Vesuvius," I inform her.
"Wow, that figures," Captain Jelisaveta sighs. "Sure. Let's get going, then."
That's it, huh?
"...Have you, um, seen a vrothizo before?" I ask.
"I got eaten by one, actually," she answers. "Partially, anyway. My team saved my life and Lady Vesuvius regrew my limbs."
"Oh," I murmur. Another hard fail on that prediction. I guess I'm not as good at understanding people as I thought. "Sorry about that."
"Not like you ate ," Captain Jelisaveta answers, shrugging as she exits her room. I quickly follow her.
"I'm just surprised you don't seem nervous," I admit. "Or fascinated, I guess. Most people are one or the other around ."
It's only Xavier and Penelope that seem fascinated, but there's no reason to call them out on that.
"I'm too tired to be nervous," Captain Jelisaveta grunts. "Don't worry about it."
"Oh no, are you okay?" I ask seriously.
I know humans get tired all the ti, but my only real experience with extended, full-bodied exhaustion cos from monts where I'm seriously injured and low on blood. It's not a fun experience, and I doubt it's much less awful to live through just because it happens to humans a lot.
"I'll be fine," she answers, nodding. "Thanks for asking. You are very polite."
I blink, jolting a little as we walk.
"I thank you," I say, aning it. "I was taught that it's always good to be polite."
"Oh yeah?" she asks, and I imdiately regret my answer because she then says: "By who?"
I glance away, trying to focus on anything other than the taste of his blood falling down my throat.
"A very good man," I admit. "One I ended up killing."
"...I see," Captain Jelisaveta answers, and we remain silent until reaching Lady Vesuvius' laboratory.
The huge, mostly-wooden building has the sa sharp sll as always, one I've gotten used to over the dozen or so tis I've been here. Captain Jelisaveta seems to be looking around with great interest, however. I suppose most people haven't ever been inside. It doesn't take long for us to be escorted to the room Lady Vesuvius does her usual checkups in, and sure enough she's waiting for us when we enter.
"Welco, Lark!" she says, smiling cheerfully. "And is this Inquisitor Captain Jelisaveta? Congratulations on the promotion!"
"Thank you, my Lady," Jelisaveta says politely, and my ears twitch slightly as I almost hear Lady Vesuvius whisper sothing under her breath. It's so quiet I can't make out a single word of it, though.
"Well, go ahead and get most of that armor off, Lark," Lady Vesuvius says primly. "Captain, if you'd wait outside?"
Captain Jelisaveta bows slightly and exits, waiting on the other side of the door. No fussing about like Galdra does. I almost miss it until I think about what she used to do to my ears.
"I don't really have anything fancy on the agenda today, just a general checkup." Lady Vesuvius reports. Huh, she seems kind of tired, too.
"Well, I can't say I mind," I admit. "It's not really fun getting bits of chopped off."
She smiles thinly.
"Sorry about that," she says. "But knowing how fast your kind regenerates could potentially be lifesaving data."
"I understand," I tell her, aning it. "Do whatever you have to in order to protect people from my brothers and sisters."
"I fear it will be your nieces and nephews soon, as well," Lady Vesuvius sighs, starting to cast her analysis spell as I finish stripping down to my underwear. "I estimate your body will reach sexual maturity soti within the next six months, possibly as soon as one month. If we assu your siblings grow at a similar rate, well our exponential problem will start its multiplication soon. Speaking of, make sure to report to if you start feeling any abnormalities in your body or its natural urges."
I nod slowly. That sounds bad.
"All I have to report is that I feel like I need more food," I tell her. "I'm getting hungrier more quickly and feeling less satisfied by als."
"Hmm," Lady Vesuvius hums. "How bad is it? If possible, I'd like to test changing your diet to a different animal before we test increasing the physical mass fed to you."
I raise my eyebrows a bit, but nod. That sounds great, I hate mice.
"Sure," I say. "I should be fine for another couple weeks at least, if that doesn't help. Assuming it doesn't keep getting worse, I guess."
Lady Vesuvius nods, descending into an uncharacteristic silence after that. She's normally quite chattery, so it's making a little worried.
"Um forgive if this is too personal, but is everything okay, Lady Vesuvius?"
She looks up, quickly hiding a bit of surprise at my question before giving a soft smile.
"Ah, more or less, yes," she tells . "I'm just a bit lancholy. It's hmm. Have you ever spent a long, long ti looking forward to sothing, only to realize once you get it that you're no longer the person that wanted it in the first place?"
"And the new you no longer loves that thing," I continue understandingly. "But it's too late after you've done it."
"Exactly," Lady Vesuvius agrees, sighing.
"May I ask what happened?" I inquire curiously. It's rare that Lady Vesuvius opens up much about herself.
"Mmm let's just say I'm no longer a girl that likes playing with toys," she murmurs. "Nor anything that reminds of them."
Oof, I get that. I used to love toys, but now they just remind of August. I nod understandingly, feeling a rare mont of kinship with this weird, aggressive woman.
"Though if you don't mind changing the subject, I did have a non-dically related question for you," Lady Vesuvius says, injecting a seemingly artificial cheer into her voice. "What is your opinion on tails?"
"Huh?" I sputter, feeling a bit of conversational whiplash. "What do you an?"
"Tails," Lady Vesuvius repeats. "I know you don't have one, but you're generally experienced at finding yourself with exciting new body parts, aren't you? What sort of things would you look for and dread in a tail?"
"Um well, I don't really want a tail, so if I started to grow one I'd hope it ends up as small and innocuous as possible," I answer simply.
"And why don't you want one?" she presses.
"Well it wouldn't help ," I explain. "The key strengths of my body co from being light and fast. A tail would be extra weight for nothing. Balance? I don't have issues with it. Prehensile capabilities? I already have four arms, I don't need it."
"Hmm," Lady Vesuvius ponders, tapping her chin. "Well, I've been thinking of growing myself a tail, lately. I suppose I'm coming at it with the opposite intention, though; I want more mass, or specifically more volu. I need extra space for internal structures, and rather than expanding my height for relatively minimal gains, I figure I should take the next step of my evolution. But I'm trying to think about what pitfalls I should be mindful of before finalizing the concept."
Well, she's back to being weird again, at least. Which is comforting sohow? I don't know Lady Vesuvius all that well, but I don't want her to be distressed.
"So big like a snake tail?" I ask. "Not in the sense of it replacing your legs, but in the sense that it retains your normal body width throughout most of its length rather than being significantly thinner than the rest of you like a cat or tapering like a lizard."
"Yes, that would be the best way to maximize volu," she nods. "But I'm worried about it being too cumberso. I certainly don't need to move as quickly as you do, but"
"It would still be a problem," I agree. "I have to lean a little further forward when I walk with my quills extended. A giant tail would kill your balance if you tried to lift it off the ground, and if you're not lifting it off the ground it ans you're dragging a huge tail everywhere. You'd probably get really sore."
"Mmm," Lady Vesuvius hums thoughtfully. "Speaking of, how have your back and shoulders been doing?"
"The stretches you suggested help, thank you," I nod. "Vibrating my quills every day to get heat flowing through them has also been doing wonders."
"That's wonderful to hear," she responds, almost absentmindedly. "So you think the main problem would be dragging the tail everywhere?"
"If it weighs too much, you won't be able to lift it without falling backwards," I shrug. "Right?"
"Yes, you're absolutely right," Lady Vesuvius agrees. "Perhaps rather than enabling the tail to be lifted, it might be easier to design it with the intention of being dragged."
"Well, I wouldn't know anything about that," I answer, shrugging. "Honestly, I've been working very hard trying to hold onto what little humanity I have. I don't have any idea why you'd want to get rid of it."
"Well, you're not very content with who and what you are, yes?" Lady Vesuvius asks . "Does it not stand to reason, then, that so humans may feel the sa way?"
I nod slowly. I guess that makes sense. It feels weird to that any human would want to be a monstrous freak of nature, but it sounds silly to say so when I'm talking to a woman literally turning herself into one.
"It would be nice if people could just swap bodies, or sothing. I'd be happy to give up mine."
Penelope lets out a full-bodied laugh.
"Ah, yes," she agrees. "If only we knew soone who could do that."
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