Vaudevillain The Many Adventures of Jacques! - 3

The Many Adventures of Jacques! - 3

Cookie held the skewers in his hand, frozen stiff at the rchants words. The rchant didnt seem to notice the change in the minion, however, and started preparing the cash register for paynt.

Ah, the rchant started. Its a wonderful thing to sell to such enthusiastic people such as yourself! You wouldnt believe the kinds of custors around here. No class, none at all. But you, good sir. Well, you have the makings of a fine, upstanding citizen! Why, I bet you have the money ready for right this mont!

While the rchant monologued, Cookie desperately searched through his mory for a solution to his problem. The Jacques knewwhat with how often Dr. Zlo went on about itthat money was vitally important to the ecosystem of a city. The Jacques also knewwhat with how often Dr. Zlo stole itthat money couldnt be as valuable as everyone made it out to be, and therefore never carried any of the stuff.

Cookie ascribed to the notion that valuable things were the things you only stole once. How the Jacques ca to this theory is a mystery and likely the result of so strange combination of words, blunt force trauma, and bad programming.

The rchant continued to drone, which let Cookie continue to think. The minion knew the kebabs werent valuable enough to stealthe others offered money for them, after all. However, the minion also knew that not exchanging a good or service for another good or service was the sa as stealing. Cass had worked that one out for the Jacques after a very embarrassing caper with Dr. Zlo.

So the skewers werent good enough to steal, but Cookie also couldnt offer anything in exchange, which ant the minion would steal the kebabs anyway. The whole thing was starting to make the Jacques brain hurt. It kept looping through the sa logic while the rchant talked, stopping only when the rchant finally addressed the minion.

Well, good sir? Ten dollars, whenever youre ready!

Cookie looked up at the rchant, then back at the skewers, then back at the rchant. Then, it looked back at the skewers again and wiped imaginary drool from its lips. Finally, with a heaving sigh, Cookie pushed the skewers back to the rchant.

The minion wanted the skewers, it really did. That wafting, intoxicating sll called to Cookie like a siren. However, the rchants speech had jumpstarted another part of the Jacquess brain.

No class, the rchant had said. Well, a minion of Dr. Zlos couldnt be without class! What would the world think? No, better to find so other way to get the skewers.

Whats this? the rchant said as Cookie presented the skewers. Did you change your mind?

Cookie shook its head furiously, then pantomid wanting to eat the skewers but not having any money for paynt.

The rchant nodded solemnly. Down on your luck, I see. I see Such a sha that a gentle soul such as yourself is without coin.

Cookie could only nod in reply.

The rchant placed a hand under his chin, contemplating. Cookie tried to push the skewers in its hand back to the rchant. The sll was starting to overpower the minions senses.

Just when it seed that the Jacques could no longer take it, the rchant spoke. Tell you what. If you do a small favor, I shall give these skewers to you, free of charge!

Cookie tilted its head, curious.

Its nothing important. I just want you to advertise my skewers! Here, take this.

The rchant pulled a large sign from under his cart and handed it to Cookie. The minion looked at the sign curiously, but couldnt make out the words.

Just hold this up and point it to my skewer cart as you walk around. People will see you eating and advertising and wont be able to help themselves! Ill be drowning in custors!

The rchant gave a hearty laugh, and Cookie was more than happy to follow along. The minion threw his head back in a wild, silent laugh.

Excellent, my friend! the rchant said. Now, make sure you advertise well! And have a good day!

Cookie waved the rchant goodbye, skewers in one hand and a sign around his neck.

Now that his craving was abated, it was ti for the Jacques to return to its previous task. It needed to find a Lieberry so it could find a neighbor with a cup of flour.

As Cookie walked along, one eye was on its surroundings while the other focused on the skewers of at in front of him. Finding a way to eat would be a challenge, but the Jacques was more than willing to work on it.

First, the minion attempted to roll the skewer over where its lips would be. Perhaps the food would just pass through. All that did was sar fat all over the Jacquess face. So next, Cookie tried to smash the skewer into its mouth. That only had the sa effect.

Cookie was just starting to think of more esoteric solutions when its other eye caught sothing. A book sothing, to be exact.

It wasnt quite a book, Cookie knew that books didnt sit on poles, but it was book shaped. There was the binding, and the cover, and pagesbut not any writing. There also only seed to be one page, as the slight wind passing through the street didnt cause the paper to flit about. Yes, Cookie nodded. This was certainly book shaped, and probably not a book. Book adjacent, maybe.

Of course, if it was book adjacent, then perhaps there was soone around who could point the Jacques in the right direction. As Mabel often said, it takes one to know one, and book adjacent was likely close enough to book.

Cookie looked around for soone to ask, but only found another book thing, this one painted on a glass door nearby. Shrugging to itself, the minion walked over. Perhaps this book thing would be able to tell it about a Lieberry and the books.