The sunlight poking through the curtains awoke . A cute blonde elf resting upon my chest. My feelings felt dull. I regained my ability to beco irritated, feeling small amounts of joy. I imagined it would release upon entering the third stage.
'It feels strange to have these girls beside . I took advantage of her weak guard and the events to make her mine...'
"Mmmmn... Lucian... Hehehe."
She rubbed her face against and call my na. I didn't know which sister was in control because they were both adorable. My eyes watched the sunrising with chaotic feelings.
These past few weeks felt amazing. I travelled together with her just enjoying life, hunting bandits, killing goblins, and flirting with an elf beauty.
Since I ca to this world sowhere deep inside, I avoided an important issue, because of fear and it being too much to accept.
'Was I Lucian Silva? Lucian Von Silver? Am I dreaming? Did the original even exist? Are the people I love just computer ga characters?
[Lucian..]
'Look at ! I'm crippled by despair, yet I cannot shed a single tear! The pressure of having to fight, forced to calculate every action, planning which won I fall for! It's too much!'
[Lucian please!]
My hands stroked Mira's hair, calming down from the ltdown. Her presence saved on countless levels. Her nerdy monts, Altair's tsundere attitude, all of it helped ! I head towards the academy, knowing I have to seduce a girl who hates all dark creatures. Or I shall die!
"I don't want to seduce people because of a ga plot. They're charming enough without such pressure!"
Unlike Carmilla and the others, I wasn't required to love Altamira. For the first ti in 29 years alive, having lost my sister, finally I could forgive myself and began falling in love with a girl.
[Lucian!]
A blinding white light filled my vision. My surroundings beca my old room when I could see again. I was sitting on my bed as a tall devilish woman who resembled my sister stood before . Her big brown eyes fluttered, watching as her body shook.
"For so long, I've been watching you and waiting." She said with her serene voice.
"Why were you watching ? There are plenty of others?"
She shook her head toward . Then stepped forward, seating herself on my gaming chair. Even though she was like my sister, I couldn't stop finding her every action alluring, as if born to charm others.
"It could only be you. No matter how inferior, useless or defective. Lucian, I would only ever choose you."
'What's going on? I have feelings again. My chest feels tight and my eyes feel blurry.'
The woman gave a gentle smile crossing her legs. She tapped on the air and showed the familiar system and videos of my actions since moving worlds.
"You were really amazing. I never thought the spineless you could step up and achieve the impossible. Do you rember how you feared contact with others hiding behind your computer?"
She ntioned a sore spot. It was ever since the day that man ruined our lives… We were never close with our parents but for my sister's sake they stayed with us… After that day everything ended and life beca hollow.
'Wait… What was my sister's na? Why can't I rember sothing that is important!?'
"Calm down, Lucian. I shall explain things in ti."
A large pressure filled my body, causing my anger and panic to dissipate completely. She once again tapped the screen and showed the scene of that day. However, it differed from what I rembered. My sister held a knife and was killing my parents…
"What is this? Do you have fun creating fake videos to tarnish my sister's mory?"
The woman knew everything about . She was unaffected by my outbreak and kept smiling gracefully. My body was within her warm embrace In a flash.
'Why?'
"Please tell why?"
"Lucian, your mind isn't healthy. That day the images you saw combined with the long-term abuse you received from your mother and father. It was your sister who saved you that day. The guilt you felt for not saving her was because you couldn't accept the truth."
My body filled with sweat and shook. What is this woman speaking about? Abuse? Nothing like that happened. There wasn't much love. However, I'm sure they loved deep down!
"You m-must be mistaken. I had a happy life growing up!" I said.
She looked at with deep sorrow. Her long fingers pressed another button, the video changed. It showed a strangely familiar handso boy on par with the ga character I replaced. He was trying to make breakfast for his mother's birthday and used the slightly expensive ham, wanting her to smile.
The image caused my body to recoil; however, she grasped tightly, forcing to watch. A man who looked similar to my father entered and saw the boy using expensive at. He yelled and lunged for the boy, slamming his head off the counter before pumlling him in the chest and face, screaming that leaches shouldn't touch human food. Two won entered after hearing the noise. One older girl hugged the boy like a treasure nursing his beaten body. She gave a fierce look towards their father and the beautiful woman who looked irritated.
The man gave a shout. "It's your fault, you dirty slut, letting your custor knock you up!"
The demonic lady stopped the footage and stroked my hair like the older sister in the video.
"Haha, this movie is pretty good. The actors look like my family."
(Lucian POV end)
"Lucian, it's already okay. You don't need to pretend to be tough. This world doesn't need saving. I didn't bring you here for that reason."
The woman continued to comfort the boy, who sobbed. He resembled the boy in the video no longer in adult form. He was never ugly, useless, or pathetic. His countless years of abuse led him to believe himself to be human trash.
No matter how many won approached him, wishing to be his lover. He'd always ruined the relationship because of his belief of being disgusting. That ruined his life even further. He once hoped to feel normal again, like others.
Lucian didn't respond to her as he clung to her in desperation. His sister was several years older than him, there was no younger sister. The two shared no blood relationship. Yet she protected her little brother even at the cost of wasting her brilliant mind and future.
His mind warped the day his sister killed their parents. His aunt and her husband then took care of Lucian. They had money and could support him till adulthood with ease. He lived in a separate apartnt from them in order to recover. His thoughts then created an alternate reality, replacing his parents with his aunt and his sister with a thief.
"Had I known you were ho, things would have been different..."
Her warm embrace felt nostalgic for Lucian. As tears and snot stread down his face, he was no longer able to block the mories. He felt embarrassnt at his pathetic self of those years how he forgot such an important thing as his sister's na, even her age. It was there deep down inside his heart when he nad the system Siesta, the na of his older sister.
'Did I already know deep down?'
He lowered his head while sobbing as he let out his feelings without twisting them or brooding.
"I wanted to be saved!"
"I wanted my life to be different. "
"What did I do to deserve that?"
"I felt my reflection was disgusting."
"Was I really such a monster? Couldn't they forgive my existence?"
"Why did you have to kill yourself and leave alone?"
"Older sister, I loved you so much!"
"Why did you do those things? I was your son. You had our dad for that!"
"Sotis I wanted to end everything."
"My sister sotis gave cookies on my birthday. My most cherished mories."
"Life beca grey when I lost my sister."
"When I was reborn. I felt nothing."
"What, saving the world? I wanted to be the main character."
"Maybe then I could feel normal!"
"But It failed. Aside from lust, I felt nothing but emptiness."
"Why can't I be the one in control?"
"Then they made feel alive… Carmilla… Marina."
"I wanted to try harder, but only failed!"
"Since losing my sister…. Altamira made feel human again."
"I didn't want her to be a fake."
He shouted both his feelings of pain and sorrow. His body sat upon the demonic woman. Her smile never faded as she felt gratitude toward the twin elves and Carmilla. Lucian had finally begun the journey to accept himself and his past thanks to them touching the shell of his heart.
'Thank you both for supporting my frail and broken brother. You might not have intended to, however, I will return that grace a thousandfold.'
Her fingers clicked, and sothing rippled along the world where the two people slept. She couldn't fix her brother in such a short ti. Just hearing his authentic voice and pain was enough. Her fingers touched his forehead as a bright light shone, making him sleep once more.
"You won't rember anything clearly. It will be like a dream. However, the feelings you finally released will slowly fade and turn your twisted negative feelings into the opposite. I don't want you to save the world. You don't need to capture girls you don't want."
She took a mont looking at his fading body. Reduced emotions would still affect him; however, his twisted personality would slowly unravel and he would act for himself and his desires instead of trying to follow the ga's plot.
Her fingers tapped the system panel once again.
[Administrator: Celestial Demon Seista Valerios]
[System entering support mode]
[Quests will only trigger when the host feels the desire to conquer a target]
"I want you to smile again, little brother."
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