Secretary Snow pulled back her frizzy hair and fixed it with a tortoise shell headband, the hair flared near the back, making it look like the back of her head had exploded with gray hair.
She turned around and approached Dan, hand extended for a shake.
“Emboss, it’s nice to finally et you in the flesh.
I just saw your work off the New England coast and I am very impressed.”
Her smile seed genuine enough, but Dan could tell there were calculations going on in her mind.
He laughed and scratched his head in embarrassnt. “All the credit belongs to Cygnus.
She planned the mission and led it, I did my best to support her.”
“Be that as it may, your rise through the ranks deserves recognition.”
She went to her desk and got a clipboard flipping through the pages attached to it.
Dan put his hands on his hips.
“Rank, Ms. Secretary?
I don’t understand what you an.”
“Right, they may not have shown you.
The supe industry puts out a ranked list of all superheroes in the US every month.
They rank you all by power, cri fighting results, and q score.”
“Q score?”
“Your popularity.
How much face ti you get on the news.
I think that’s what’s bumping you up the list, but your superpowers are solidly in the S-rank tier.”
She handed him the clipboard.
He looked over the list.
“No surprise that Sally is number one, Cygnus is in the top ten as well.
I’m amazed how much Boston punches above its height…
I’m number ten!?”
Snow raised her eyebrow.
“Your cri fighting score is the one thing that’s bringing you down, and that will co in the due course of ti.”
Dan furrowed his brow. “There’s no way Red Berzerker is twelfth.
This list is grade-A baloney.”
His mind went to thinking about how he could support his new girlfriend and get her up the ranks.
She nodded. “It absolutely is.
Kind of like college rankings.
Even still, it’s good for you to know how well you’re being received by the public.”
“I guess.
It will at least make the job easier if people aren’t throwing tomatoes at you.”
He waited for a mont and then cut to the chase.
“Secretary Snow, I’m going to co clean with you.
I’d like to know about ‘project equality’.”
Snow pulled the glasses off her face and set them on her desk. “There are subjects that people want to know about, and then there are subjects that people want to forget about once they learn it.
Dan, I think you’re risking learning
sothing you’d later want to forget about.”
“A bunch of thugs in chas destroyed several buildings at the Institute of Technology and injured two dozen people.
If we weren’t there, your information would be in the wrong hands, whatever it is.”
“And for that, the governnt thanks you.”
She sighed. “Project Equality started up under a different na all the way back at the founding of this nation.
Benjamina Franklin snuck it into the budget and it’s been there for hundreds of years.
It’s a project to bring about gender parity between the sexes.”
“Making n and won equal in population.”
Dan nodded.
“At first the project was purely based in bunk science, bloodletting and all that garbage.
Birth disparity was thought to be the product of an imbalance of humors.
But behind the scenes over the years, PE brought about advances in the study of evolution and genetics.”
She sat down and offered a seat to Dan to do the sa.
“So Project Equality has been trying to use biology to solve the problem?”
“We had a breakthrough in the 50s concerning DNA and viruses.
The first computers that were built were put to work to understand the nature of the issue. After that work, our scientists best guess was that a virus entered the population in Scandinavia that drastically reduced the size of the Y-chromoso and brought about a weakness in sperm that carry it.
The problem isn’t conception, it's carrying the child to term.”
“I see, so centrifuges and test tube babies don’t help.”
“That’s right.”
“That doesn’t seem like it should be a secret.
I’m sure you would have taught this in schools by now.”
He pointed. “Why are people resorting to violence to get more information?”
“Now we co to the point where I disappoint you.” She swirled her chair around to look down at the Potomac river. “PE has advanced to such a point that revealing its secrets would be a national security issue.
I can neither confirm nor deny any techniques PE has attempted in the past.
Also, I cannot divulge any future plans.”
“Give it to
straight Snow.”
His voice was thick with tension. “Does Project Equality have anything to do with my journey to this world?”
Snow remained silent for a little too long. “Dan, before you go, I’d like for you to consider an offer.”
Dan contained his anger at being stonewalled. “What is Madam Secretary?”
“The science team at the Departnt of Gender confird the test results of your sperm.
Your counts are ten tis higher than the average male.
Your Y-chromoso is the sa size as our predicted model indicates, had the gender virus never appeared.
We’re certain you're resistant to the virus, and that it’s not related to your superpowers.”
“What are you getting at?”
“You’ve fathered ten children, including three healthy sons in the span of a few weeks Dan.
That’s a super power in itself.
We’ve gotten samples of your children’s DNA, through proper legal channels mind you, and found that your son’s show the sa size of the Y-chromoso.
You may be interested in Project Equality, but the project is equally interested in you.”
“My nuts are not for sale Snow.”
Dan smirked. “And you couldn’t cut them off with a blowtorch.”
“Perish the thought.”
Snow laughed, making her head of frizzy hair vibrate. “All we ask is that you remain open to being … aggressively promiscuous.
Your previous job was a perfect fit.”
Dan looked down and shook his head.
“I’ve got enough girls on my plate thank you very much.
What happens in twenty years when my children start dating?”
“We’ll keep an eye on them.”
She pointed in the air to stop his worry. “If one ets another we’ll let them know.
Once we get to second cousins we won’t bother telling them, there’s no risk there.”
“I’m in a relationship with…several won.”
He grimaced. “Going back to work after agreeing to make sothing more aningful feels like cheating.”
“Cheating, what’s cheating?”
Snow was obviously confused.
“Infidelity.”
“Oh right, that was in your dossier.
So odd notion of loyalty to a monogamous partner.
Absolute horseshit.
A luxury our world cannot afford.”
“Well, you’re not the one dating supes.
I am.
I’d like to keep them happy.
I think I’m already on one’s shit list.”
Snow laughed.
“And why shouldn’t you be?
You’re shacking up with known criminals. Have you seen their rap sheet?”
“I don’t want to.
They’re reford.”
He swept his hand in front of himself. “They’re not going to be villains any more, they’ll help the Blazers and redeem themselves.”
“And that’s why I’ve personally told law enforcent to turn a blind eye.”
She put her hands up. “That’s not so veiled threat.
You did good there boy, we won’t use them as leverage.”
“It’s good to know this administration isn’t composed of complete tools.”
“What?”
“Dicks.”
“Ha!
Can I use that insult?
It’s great.
Tool - ha!”
She got up again to shake his hand.
Dan took it and gave a grudging smile. “I know you’re doing your job, and you want what’s best for the country.
If you want
to help you in that way, talk to my girls and convince them all, not .”
“Heh, that’s a fair deal.”
She gave him a look up and down. “It’s a sha I couldn’t have been in Boston on those few weeks you were working at Candycade.
I only have two daughters.
The busy life of a beltway bureaucrat doesn’t give
much ti to court n.”
“You know I could always let the rule slide, if a certain bit of information landed in my lap.”
Dan raised his eyebrow, testing.
The middle aged woman narrowed her eyes. “That’s ruthless Dan.
Have you ever thought of going into politics?”
…
Dan walked out of the governnt office building and onto downtown Washington DC.
He could feel the eyes of the pedestrians stare at him.
He had debated on whether or not to bring a spare change of clothes and was now regretting the decision not to bring them.
He loved DC and wanted to see all the female versions of the monunts, like the
Tommi Jefferson and
Alexandra Lincoln morials.
He noticed that a circle had ford around him and followed him as he walked down the street, like he was the nucleus of a giant cell.
Dan grimaced and was about to bolt to Boston when four supes descended from the sky in front of him.
These girls all wore red, white, and blue uniforms and seed like a knock off version of the girls from Arican Gladiators.
The tallest of them spoke.
“Emboss, welco to the great city of Washington DC.” She looked at the building he just exited.
“I hope Secretary Snow is doing well.”
Dan didn’t look at the news all too often so he was unfamiliar with the group.
His urge to put his foot in his mouth was great, but he resisted.
“It’s nice to et you all.”
He looked around. “Did you want to take this to a more private place?”
…
The four supes lead Dan across the tidal basin to the Eleanor Roosevelt monunt.
The statue was a massive rendition of the sa woman in this world.
He really wished he spent more ti reading this world’s history, he’d have to head to the library when he got back to Boston.
“I’m really very sorry.
I’m Dan Gadsen, my supe na is Emboss.
It’s a pleasure to et you.”
Dan offered his hand to shake and the four young won took it.
They seed confident enough taking his hand.
“You sound like you aren’t familiar with us.”
The tall Auburn haired girl talked in a taunting manner.
“I’ve been cooped up in my own little world.”
He looked at each one of them. “I should have done my research before coming here.
I’m sorry.”
“Don’t worry, Emboss.”
She laughed.
“I’m Ranger Kyla,
these are my colleagues, Spell Mistress, Queen Kona, and Silencia.
Together we’re the Foggy Bottom Fighters.”
“It’s an honor to et you all.”
He nodded in respect.
“The honor is all ours.”
Silencia purred.
She wore a red, white, and blue uniform that was very dark, suggesting that her powers lay in stealth and infiltration.
“What brings you to DC?”
“Well, I was invited to talk with Secretary Snow.
Top secret crap.”
Kyla nodded. “It almost always is in this town.”
“Heh, well after the eting, I was planning on seeing the sights around DC, but I forgot to bring a change of clothes.
I might go back ho and get a change.”
He took a few steps back to bolt.
“Leaving so soon?
We could take you to a n’s store and get you so new duds.”
Kyla tried to sound perky. “I’ll even get you a pair of sunglasses.
How does that sound?
The girls and I will take you around and show you everything DC has to offer.”
“Thank you, that's mighty kind of you, but I simply couldn’t.”
He put his hands up in protest. This would not look good without one of the Blazers here as a chaperone.
“How about I take a rain check?
I can bring Sally Cot.”
Kyla grabbed his wrist. “Don’t be a limp dick Dan.
We’re only doing so tourist shit.
It’ll be fun. Let’s go.!”
He figured she had strength in the sa ballpark as himself. Dan wasn’t about to fight her, he didn’t want to make enemies.
He thought he rembered her being in the top three on the supe list, just below Sally Cot.
She flew into the air and Dan got a full unhindered look at her body.
Kyla looked like she was between the more petite Sally and the full figured Cygnus.
She wore her auburn hair in a headband.
He’d have to look up her powers when he got back to Blazer HQ.
…
The Fighters decked Dan out in an outfit reminiscent of Miami Vice, they even splurged and bought him a pair of Ray-Bans.
He had to admit, the outfit did complent his physique.
After the shopping trip they changed in the dressing room and walked out of the back door to get so anonymity.
The five of them spent the afternoon at the National Mall.
Dan even got to see inside the Capitol Building.
He was tickled pink at the alternate painting of the rotunda, showing all the female figures in this world's history.
They grabbed a bite to eat from one of the food trucks that littered the streets and walked to the Mall and had an impromptu picnic.
“So what are the Blazer’s plans for this coming week Dan.”
He noticed that Kyla was calling him by his real familiar na all the ti.
“We’re getting ready for Hurricane Abigail.”
He took a bite of his burrito. “They say it’s going to head right up Narragansett Bay.
Providence might get screwed.”
Queen Kona elbowed him. “If the Blazer’s need any help from DC, just give us a call.
We help out in Florida all the ti.”
Dan smiled and nodded. “I’ll be sure to let them know.
Thanks!”
After a few more minutes of shop talk, Kyla asked an awkward question.
“Dan, we heard from a reputable source that you like to party.”
She blushed and scooted a little closer. “Is that true?”
“Who told you that?”
Dan raised his eyebrow.
“Umm. Spell Mistress.”
She pointed to the girl who had a full face mask, revealing only her eyes.
Her voice was muffled behind the mask.
“Yeah, heh, I happened to visit Cloud Nine on my way ho to visit my parents in Maine.
I heard about a new talent so I splurged on the platinum package.”
Her eyes drifted down to his crotch.
“Oh right! The appointnt read ‘SMistress’, now I rember. You didn’t say much did you.”
He gave a knowing grin and their eyes locked for a mont.
He shook his head as if to break out of a spell. “But that’s not my line of work anymore,
I’m a full ti supe.”
Kyla traced her fingers up and down his arm. “We know, but are you still open to new experiences?”
She smiled.
The old Dan inside of him was seriously tempted, but the new Dan who wanted to be a good mber of the Blazer’s won out.
“Sorry girls, I don’t play those gas anymore.
You’re all knockouts, don’t get
wrong.
It’s just that my cro magnon brain can’t handle too many girls at the sa ti. I want to make the relationships I already have work out.”
He laughed nervously, they all looked a bit frustrated before their eyes opened wide.
He heard a thud behind him and a hand on the back of his neck.
He was pulled up into the air and over to a building’s rooftop.
He had a sneaking suspicion about who was dragging him away.
…
Dan and Sally stood on a rooftop facing each other.
Sally was fuming.
“What’s the problem, goblin?”
Dan smiled nervously.
She stared at him with angry eyes.
All Dan could do was shrug.
“Dan, you are an asshole!
You force my hand to bring in two criminals into my headquarters.
You then proceed to turn them into your personal servants.”
She did air quotes around the word ‘servants’. “Then you buy
goddamn flowers? Talk about mixed signals.”
She took a deep breath and continued. “And then you proceed to cook a romantic al for a girl who you asked
to protect you from.
And now that you’ve gone down the Blazers’ roster, you’re looking for more tail in another supe group?!
What the fuck Danny?”
He tilted his head in suspicion “Were you spying on
Sally?”
Sally looked away and said nothing.
Dan knew he was in a no-win argunt. “Sally.
I wasn’t looking to date the Foggy Bottom Fighters,
they practically dragged
with them.
Do you want
to offend every superheroine who wants to talk with ?”
She whipped her head back to stare at him. “Yes!”
Her eyes glowed red, her voice sounded unearthly.
He pointed to her. “You want
for yourself.
That’s it, isn’t it?”
He dropped his head and facepald. “Even I know that can’t happen.
When we started dating, I told you that you had the chance of finding a much better man than .”
“You don’t think I tried?” She cried, the tears turning to steam next to her glowing eyes. “You were gone for such a long ti.
I tried speed dating, I tried professional matchmakers.
Dan, I even went back to Cloud Nine.”
Dan felt his stomach flip flop but accepted the situation he had himself agreed to.
“They were all terrified of
Dan.
I was so desperate they threw
out!
You turned
into this.”
She went to slap him but he caught her hand in mid stroke, his feed implanted into the roof of the building, leaving a one inch deep footprint.
He pulled her in and she resisted, but only slightly. Sally’s eyes lost their glow, and her head twisted away until he grabbed her hair and gave her a hard kiss.
Her anger lted into naked desperation.
Her hands gripped his arms and the couple french kissed while she moaned in frustration.
He had co to the realization that Sally was now his full responsibility.
He wanted so much better for her, but that wasn’t possible anymore.
He ca up for air. “I promise I’ll be faithful to the Blazers, including Donad, Deleria, and Obsidian.
If you want
to blow off other girls I will.
In return you need to be faithful to
from now on.
No more dates with anyone, got it?
If we can agree to that, then I’ll always be with you.”
“Oh Dan.
I want you all for myself.”
She squeezed him tight. “I’m one of seven now aren’t I?”
She looked up to him.
“I promise to be only with you Dan, there’s no one else for .”
…
“Well girls, we blew it.”
Ranger Kyla looked on with her super vision and hearing as Dan and Sally lifted off to head north, back to Boston. She looked at Spell Mistress. “I knew I should have gone to Boston for a weekend after you told
about him.
Nothing for us but roid boys for the foreseeable future.”
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