My throat closes up as I stare at the tall alpha that is smiling brightly at .
My mind takes back to the night I arrived in this place.
Kang Sihyuk had been sitting in the living area waiting for to arrive, I rember how he looked at , I know he was thinking of touching .
I knew he wanted to make pay for breaking his head during my heat but he instead, he directed to the alpha in heat.
Thinking back to how composed he was when he saw sends a chill down my spine.
He had red eyes and said he was on suppressant but now I know...he has control over his alpha in ways that should be illegal.
"What is wrong?" Chan asks as he steps into the room holding out the teddy bear like an offering that should go first.
I keep staring at him with disbelief, this man is a born pretender, a liar from childhood.
"Where were you?" I ask him and he tilts his head, "where were you?" he asks, the warmth slowly draining out of his eyes from my tone.
"I took a stroll" I say in a small voice, choosing to lie to him and see his reaction.
Chan lets his hazel eyes roam my body for a few seconds before he lets out a sigh.
"You’re a bad liar, Yujun" he says to with a pained look in his expression, if I haven’t spoken with Gawon, guilt would have made apologize to him.
"What makes you think I’m lying?" I ask him through my teeth, getting more uncomfortable with every second that passes.
"Your heart is racing, your scent is unstable, your baby is...stressed" he says and I place my hand on my stomach protectively.
"And so?" I ask him angrily.
"And you are wearing clothes that are not mine" he says with sadness in his eyes and my oga growls at him.
"I am only ant to wear your clothes, you psychopath?" I ask him with venom dripping from my voice.
Chan winces but doesn’t say a word to him, he just stares at blankly.
Slowly, he walks towards , and reaches his hand out to touch my face but I slap it away in irritation.
"Don’t touch " I hiss to him.
"Why are you acting this way?" he asks softly like I am hurting him and a laugh of disbelief break past my lips.
What have I gotten into?
"Yujun" Chan murmurs and hold my face gently to look into my eyes, this ti I don’t fight against his, "why are you shaking so much?" he asks.
I open my mouth to respond but the words are stuck in my throat, the look on his face is not what I expected, I expected him to threaten , to hurt or to inflict pains on .
"Why are you so scared of right now?" he asks as he rubs his thumb on my temple, the gentle rub weakens my body.
"I know what you are" I breathe out when my tongue finally loosens and his face grows even more pitiful.
"I already told you by myself, I am a born alpha..." he says weakly and I blink twice.
"I already told you everyone fears for what I am...are you going to join them too?" he asks with his voice breaking.
"You...you’re the true Kang" I stutter, torn between believing Gawon and questioning her.
"This hurts" he says softly and a single tear drops down his eyes.
"You think I’m a bad person" he says and drops his hands from my face.
"You really..." he tries to speak but ends up sighing like he’s giving up before he turns his back and wipes the tear streaming down his cheek with the back of his hand.
He sniffles before going to drop the teddy bear he brought into the room on my bed, right next to the jellyfish plushie.
"Yah, Kang Chan" I call and he turns around to look at with his eyes glowing, his eyes look like they are showing just how much he is hurt.
"I thought I had a friend I could trust, but again...I am reminded that I am alone" he says and walks out of the room
I stand there still, looking at the teddy bear next to the jellyfish, not knowing what to make of it or what to say of it.
What exactly is going on? Who is lying? Chan or Gawon?
I listen as Chan walks down the hallway and the door of a room is opened.
Tiredly, I return to sitting on my bed, my head is spinning with a hundred thoughts at once.
"Kang Chan...what ga are you playing with ?" I ask the wall.
Chan’s POV
Quietly, I walk out of the room with tears streaming down my face.
Just like everyone else, he has chosen to believe what they say, and it really hurts.
The sll of Hwang Jaeyun is evident in that room, so much that it feels like his hands are wrapped around my neck and choking .
Like he’s mocking and daring even in his absence.
With force, I open the door of my room and slam it shut, driven by the unfairness of the person I like this much.
I have to wash it all off ...a bath will help, it always does.
I have the sll from the hospital still clinging to , the sll of antiseptic, of blood and of so drugs.
Going over to my mirror, I rest my hand on the vanity and stare at my face.
The injuries from that alpha’s punches are already healed completely, still I run my fingers along my chin, wondering...do I look like a monster?
The man in the mirror in front of has been told many tis that he looks like an actor, which ans I am handso.
But then why don’t they like ? Why do they end up running from ?
I lift my shirt off my head and throw it into the hamper at the side of my room so I can pay attention to my body.
I turn to the side, left and right to look at myself, I don’t look like a beast, I deliberately eat and work out calculatedly to keep my body lean.
Taking a deep breath, I step away from the mirror and take off the rest of my clothing, putting them in the hamper.
Completely naked, I walk into the bathroom and put on the water, I fold my arms and watch the water flow into the tub.
Routinely, I count down the minutes to when I know the bathtub will be full before climbing into it.
The cool water envelopes my body and I let myself get completely imrsed in the water, letting it swallow up.
With my head under the water, I shut my eyes.
I hate the silence, the rush of water in my ears is better than it, but today, it doesn’t help.
I keep my breath held and then I hear the first one, a loud scream.
It has started...the nightmares that visits even when I am wide awake, my own personal torture device.
"Let go you monster!" She screams and hits my chest, her punch doesn’t affect , I only stare at her in disbelief.
"What did you see?" I ask her, my voice sounds gravely even in my own ears.
"I saw everything, I know everything, you’re a monster" she says and punches again as tears stream down her face nonstop.
I scan her face, she really ans it, she ans every word she’s saying.
"You are my mate...you should love " I say to her, and she hisses at , "who can ever love a beast? Who can even...even like one?!"
"You won’t let explain myself to you" I say softly and she moves away from , "Yujin" I call her na gently.
"Explain what? Why you hid it from ? Why you have gold eyes instead of red?" she says and my eyes widen.
"Why are you looking like that?" she asks and stumbles backwards.
"Yujin...stay still" I say and hold my hand out to her, hoping to calm her down but she doesn’t trust anymore. She doesn’t like anymore.
"Get lost you monster! you want to do sothing to !" she screams and flees the room before I can tell her what I sll.
I sll blood.
I sit up from the tub gasping and I pull my wet hair back with my hand as I growl.
The sll of blood is too vivid to be a dream or a revisited mory.
It fills my nostrils the sa way her screams fill my ears, I will not allow Yujun to end up like her.
No, I will protect him with everything I am.
I’m not a bad person.
"I will make you like , I promise" I say to my bathroom wall.
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