It was hard to know what was happening. Leon didn't feel anything when he died. Maybe that monster had been rciful enough to destroy his nervous system before killing everyone in order not to let them suffer. Then again, only soone insane would that monster for it. Although the monster spared them from the pain, the bastard took away their most valuable possession: their lives. By losing their lives, one loses everything. The only thing remaining was the mories of those who continue to live. However, the monster took away even that from them. The universe returned to its original state… where no sentient or sapient beings exist.
"Mmm?"
Leon noticed that he thought he had died, but his mind was still functioning. However, he couldn't do anything aside from that. He couldn't feel his mana or even more a finger. Rather, he couldn't even feel his body. By the look of things, Leon was in his real spiritual form.
"So, this is it, huh? I guess I was a bit greedy too. I wanted the perfect ending, but I failed, and since I bet everything on it. I lost everything."
Leon didn't have eyes, so he couldn't open them. Although he was surrounded by darkness, he wasn't that afraid, even though he couldn't do anything. Leon had tried his best, and even though he failed many tis… he failed trying his best. He failed by his actions, not by inaction.
"Oh, man… We failed in reaching our perfect end twelve tis. Why couldn't we just reach it just one ti? That is so depressing… I worked so hard for it. We worked so hard for it… for so long."
Leon began to imagine a quiet life like the one he had before the monsters appeared. However, in this one, despite being a regular dude, he would be friends with Makoto, Yuki, Tom, Gisela, Lennart, and even Ilyana despite the fact that she was from another planet. Although fighting for survival was what put them together, Leon knew that the bond that he had with them was more than just that. Yet… that was what was left to him. Imagining how nice things could have been… if he had won.
"What now? Will I et God? Buddha? Morgan Freeman? Well, at least I wish that whoever I t, they are willing to listen to my complaints."
There was also the possibility that Leon might not et anyone, but he didn't want to think of that. In the deepest part of his heart, he thought that he might convince them to revive him and try again to defeat that freaking ass monster. However, after a while, nothing happened. No one ca… and Leon was left with that feeling of absolute loneliness that he felt so many tis.
"So, this is it, huh. There is no one on this side? Or perhaps I did so many cris that I don't deserve even a trial… Damnit."
Once Leon thought that feelings were just a response of his nervous system to certain situations, he noticed that wasn't the case now that he was dead. Leon lost his body. Still, he could feel so many things that it was difficult to put into words… anger, sha, guilt… living for who knows how long only to have such an ending was incredibly disappointing, to say the least.
"I'm sorry, everyone… In the end, I wasn't cut to lead anyone. I only lead everyone to their deaths."
Despite his words, Leon noticed that he had the chance. He wouldn't change anything. He would do everything over and over again if necessary. As if he would leave a monster alone toy with their lives just to satisfy its greed for knowledge. As far as Leon knew, his friends wouldn't change anything either. Just like Leon, they weren't perfect. They were many things, but they weren't cowards. They wouldn't let themselves beco pieces in soone else's chessboard. That was one of many reasons Leon took pride in having them as friends.
"I'm sorry, Ilyana… but it looks like this is it. We won't be able to live an ordinary life after all this. Ah… how I wished to feel your soft boobs touching by back again. Crap… I'm thinking of this when I'm dead. I'm the father of nine very old kids… I think I need to be more respectable considering that. No… I was the father of nine kids."
Although Leon wanted to talk more with his kids and give them the chance to grow up in a more ordinary environnt, it looked like they wouldn't have that chance. Now that he thought about it, growing up in a destroyed world while watching their father rapidly grow old seed to be a life much harder than the one he had, even after the arrival of monsters.
"I guess I was a failure as a human being, as a mage, and as a father…"
Ilyana and Leon tried to repair Earth as much as they could before the first Reset, but there was only so much they could. Besides, despite all the power they had, nothing could be compared to the real thing. That was one of the things that he hated most about loneliness. He hated the introspection because Leon was quick to feel depressed and recognize his mistakes. Yet, there was nothing he could do there aside from that. Leon didn't know how much ti had passed in that dinsion, but even after what it felt like a week, nothing happened, and his conscience wasn't disappearing either.
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