"Why are we going to this lunch again?" asked Uncle Charlie.
I was with Uncle Charlie in his new car, a 2001 Lamborghini Murciélago.
"Because Grandma invited everyone. And she did it in my house (she asked before)... she said hers was under renovation"
After that day, Jay contacted Grandma to see how she was doing. And sohow, we are all having lunch at my place.
Probably Grandma just wants to rub our success on Jay's face.
Then I turned to Charlie again. "You sure Haley isn't your daughter, right?" I asked him.
"NO!" he denied. "How old is she again?" he asked casually.
"A year older than . She's 15," I replied.
Charlie seed to do so quick math. "Definitely not mine."
"Why didn't I buy one of these sooner?" Uncle Charlie murmured.
"Probably you forgot with all the booze and won..." I replied.
Yeah, after buying the Lexus for Cher and Regina, I got cars for Charlie, Alan, Judith, and Evelyn.
Arriving at the house, we could already see three cars pulling up. Out of them ca: Claire, Phil, Haley, Alex, and Luke; Jay, Manny, and Gloria; Cam and Mitchell.
Uncle Charlie parked nearby and we stepped out.
"Wow, nice car!" exclaid Luke.
"That is a Lamborghini Murciélago, Luke," said Phil, impressed.
Before we could say hi, another car arrived. A Ferrari 456 Coupe. Grandma's new car.
Evelyn stepped out and said, "Jay, it's so good to see you again."
And we all greeted each other.
Haley gave a charming smile. This little minx...
"Okay, let's all go in," I said.
Mom was at the entrance and also greeted everyone.
Cam and Mitchell murmured all the way inside, srized by the house.
"Look at that chandelier. I would kill for one of those," murmured Cam to Mitchell.
"This place hosts nice parties," said Haley to Alex, trying to make envy in her little sister
"Isn't this the one you got kicked out of?" Alex replied sarcastically.
"That was Manny's fault. And Jake said he will not ban "
Phil was attempting to be friends with Charlie, creating a weird vibe (given Charlie and Claire's past).
When we got to the table, I sat in a chair. Haley was about to sit next to , but Claire intervened.
"Sit over there," she said to Haley, pointing to the other side of the table. Haley huffed but went there. Alex sat by my side.
"So you got a new woman, Jay," said Evelyn. "Good for you. Your last one was horrendous," she declared.
"Hey, that is our mother," uttered Mitchell, indignant.
"She's not wrong..." murmured Claire.
"Shut up, Claire," retorted Mitchell, whispering.
"That you would know. You've had five husbands," said Jay, jabbing back.
"Four," I corrected. "One was annulled," I explained. They all looked at .
"What? I have good mory," I shrugged.
"Where is Paige?" Mom asked .
"She'll be here soon. She's with a math group," I replied.
"So you have a nerdy sister too?" asked Haley, smiling.
"Yeah, kind of," I nodded.
"Maybe soone in the family needs good grades," said Alex, looking at Haley and turning to after.
"Why are you looking at , snappy girl? I'm not close to Paige's intelligence, but I'm not bad myself," I said condescendingly to her.
"Hello everyone," said Alan, finally showing up. "I'm still getting used to my new car, the Ferrari 360 Spider..." He tried to brag, but ended up dropping the keys car into the sauce
How co dad could ss even when bragging?
"Sit down, Alan," said Evelyn, unamused.
"Wow, everyone in your family has a sports car?" Haley said, amazed.
Before I could respond, Alex interrupted, "What impresses —you know what a sports car is," she said to Haley.
"Shut up, Alex. Go play with your nerdy balls."
"They're molecules, and you should know—you're a sophomore."
Then Paige appeared. She greeted everyone and ca to sit by my side.
"Is that your new way to pick up girls?" she turned to . "Calling her entire family?"
Haley choked on her drink. I just looked at Paige, unfazed.
"No one is picking up any girl, young lady," exclaid Claire
Even though she was a fan of my movies, Claire motherly side ca first
Cam entered the conversation and looked at . "So, you and Scarlett?"
"She's back in Manhattan. It was just a sumr fling," I replied
"Too bad for you, Jake, no Scarlett, neither these two girls" Paige said mockingly. "But we can still do the sibling stuff," she added with a wink and a suggestive tone, making Claire open and close her mouth in shock.
"Paige," said Mom in a warning tone.
"I will stop, aunt," Paige replied.
"Wait, aren't you his sister?" Alex asked, confused.
"We're not by blood, or by law. We're not even related by blood," explained Paige.
"I just picked her up off the street," I said.
"And brought to your room," Paige added, raising an eyebrow.
"You and another girl" I smirked
Seen Claire open and close her mouth again, Judith said exasperated "Jake and Paige, stop ssing with our guests"
"We didn't even kiss," I clarified to Claire
"Which reminds . There are three cute girls here and you didn't kiss anyone. That's a miracle," Paige mocked.
"What are you saying, Paige? I hang out with you, Carly, and Sam all the ti."
"You never kissed Carly or Sam? Really?"
"Yep," I replied, then changed the subject. "How was it with the math group?"
"They didn't get everything. I think it'll take ti to prove it's correct. But preliminarily, they didn't find any errors either."
"That's my girl," I said, patting her head, which she tried to dodge. "You know you might win a Fields dal if you're correct, right?"
"A Fields dal???" Alex scread. She was the only one surprised. Seeing no one else reacted, she explained, "That's like a Nobel Prize for math."
Which got a lot of impressed "wow"s around the table. Haley was still tilting her head...
I explained to her, "It's like an Oscar for math."
"Hmm. A nerdy Oscar. Didn't you get any, Alex?"
"Are you kidding ??" snapped Alex. "That's a Fields dal! Do you know how hard it is to win a Fields dal?? She would be the first woman to win one!" She cald a bit and asked suspiciously, "What would make you win a Fields dal?"
"Poincaré Conjecture. One of the seven Millennium Problems," I replied for Paige, who was busy texting on her phone.
"What is it?" I asked her
"My old professor," replied Paige. "I ended up sending it to him too. He checked it with so mathematicians he knows. Now he's bugging to co back."
"Harvard can cry. You're a Cowtech girl now," I said.
"Wait, she's at Caltech??? How old is she?" scread Alex.
"Yes, she is now. She's 13. She entered Harvard last year," I said.
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