The others needed so ti to get ready for the feast, so they all went to their respective rooms. A junior priest guided Priest Jai and Priestess Natille to their rooms, while the others found their own way. A little worried about my fiancée, I followed her to our shared room.
The mont the door closed behind , Anna started changing into a gorgeous red dress. From the annoyed expression on her face and her aggressive movents, it was obvious that she was upset about sothing.
I crossed my arms and leaned against a nearby wall.
"What's wrong?"
Anna snorted.
"I don't know what you an," she said. "Nothing's wrong."
I rolled my eyes.
"Please," I said. "Even a blind man could tell that you're upset." I gestured to myself. "Co on, spill it. Why are you angry?"
Anna paused halfway through changing her clothes, leaving her half-naked.
"It's nothing," she said after a mont. "I'm just being stupid."
I pushed myself away from the wall and walked over to her. When I drew close enough, I grabbed Anna's chin and made her look at .
"Anything that upsets you isn't nothing," I said. "Not to ." I paused. "As for whether you're being stupid or not, that remains to be seen."
Anna scoffed and shook her head. However, the corners of her lips curled upwards.
"Fool," she said in a quiet voice.
"Yes, but I'm your fool." This earned a chuckle from Anna. "Now tell what's wrong."
Anna sighed.
"It's Priestess Natille," she said, a hint of scorn in her voice. "I don't like her."
"I could tell. Why? Has she offended you in so way?"
Anna shook her head, a rueful expression on her face.
"No, nothing like that. She's too… cheerful. It seems false to . Insincere. I don't like it." She paused. "Also, she makes feel insecure, which doesn't happen often." She gave a self-deprecating smile. "A bit silly for a woman my age, but it's true."
I blinked at her in surprise.
"Wait, what?"
Anna gave an annoyed look.
"See?" she said with a huff. "I told you it was stupid. Now stop bothering so I can finish changing."
I shook my head to clear my thoughts.
"Sorry, it's just that I don't understand. You outshine her in every way." I started listing things off with my fingers. "You're more beautiful. You're stronger. You received a divine blessing directly from Brand." I grinned at her. "I could keep going, but then we'd be here all day."
Anna looked touched and gave a quick kiss on the lips.
"This is one of the reasons why I love you," she said. "You know just what to say to make feel better." She shook her head. "However, there is one area where Priestess Natille beats . She's more feminine than I am."
I opened my mouth to say sothing, but Anna placed a finger on my lips and silenced .
"I know you think I'm beautiful," she said, giving a fond look. "And you think I'm feminine enough. However, you have to admit that your tastes differ from everyone else's."
She made a fair point.
"Even so, you have nothing to be ashad of," I said.
"I know. I'm not ashad." She flexed her arm muscles. "I'm proud of my body. I've honed it over years of training." Her expression flickered. "However, a part of wonders if you would prefer if I was softer and curvier. More feminine."
I glanced at her bare chest.
"You look curvy enough to ," I said.
Anna punched in the shoulder.
"I'm being serious," she said.
"So am I. Anna, you know my tastes. In every way, you're my ideal woman."
"I know, which is why I said I was being stupid." She shook her head. "However, I fear losing you so much that I can't help myself." She leaned forward and rested her forehead on my chest. "I can't explain why I feel this way, but sotis it scares ."
I wrapped my arms around Anna and pulled her into an embrace.
"If I recall," I said in a joking tone, hoping to lighten the mood. "Weren't you the one who gave an ultimatum, when you pursued back in the Icefall region? You told to make a choice or you'd walk away. Or at least, you said sothing along those lines."
"That was a bluff," Anna said. "If you had rejected back then, I would've kidnapped you and locked you up."
A thrill ran down my spine, though I couldn't tell if it was from fear or anticipation.
"You know how insane that sounds, don't you?" I asked.
Anna pulled out of my embrace and looked up at .
"You should know by now that sotis I'm not a good person," she said. "I'm more than willing to cross lines in order to achieve my goals."
"Including when it cos to ?"
Anna reached up to grasp my face in her hands.
"Especially when it cos to you," she said, a strange intensity in her voice. "There is nothing I won't do for your sake, or to make you mine."
I studied Anna's eyes. As much as I reveled in Anna's feelings for , they also worried .
"Why do you feel this way about ?" I asked in a solemn voice. "I've done nothing to earn or deserve it."
Anna traced her thumbs along my cheeks.
"Deserve has got nothing to do with it," she said. "From the mont I saw you, I've wanted to make you mine. To own you. Possess you." Her expression darkened. "If another woman tried to steal you away from , I'd kill her. If she actually succeeded, I'd kill her, then lock you up and break your legs to keep you from running away from ever again." She paused. "Does that scare you?"
I took a mont to think it over.
"Yes, but not for the reason you might think," I said, frowning. "It scares how appealing I find your words. Not the murder part, but your near obsessiveness towards ."
Anna snorted.
"There's nothing near about it. I am obsessed with you."
"And I feel the sa way," I said. "If another man tried to steal you away from , I'd kill him and put his head on a pike as a warning for others." I sighed. "And that's what scares . Where did these feelings co from? Why do we feel this way about each other? What if they're… What if they're not real?"
Anna narrowed her eyes at .
"Careful," she said, an edge to her voice. "If you dare say that my love for you is false, I will punch you."
I shook my head.
"That's not what I ant."
"Then what did you an?" Anna demanded.
How did we co to this point? I ca up here to comfort Anna, not go down this particular rabbit hole.
Fuck Aleah Jeffers. Thanks to her I was questioning everything about my life.
"There's sothing I haven't told you," I said. "During my conversation with Lord Tempest, he revealed to the truth about my death."
I explained how Aleah Jeffers orchestrated my death and severed my fate. Not only that, but she was also likely responsible for my shitty childhood.
"Ever since I heard this," I said after I finished. "A part of wondered how much of my life is real? And how much was a result of Aleah Jeffers' ddling?" I paused, before forcing the next sentence out. "What if she had sothing to do with our feelings for each other? I an, even you have to admit that we're not quite sane in this regard."
As soon as I finished speaking, an icy hand gripped my heart. I wanted to flee, to avoid hearing Anna's answer, but I forced myself to stay put. What if she didn't believe and thought I was crazy? Or what if she beca afflicted with the sa fear I felt?
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Fool. I should've buried my fear and kept these thoughts to myself. I shouldn't have said anything to Anna.
All these thoughts haunted . I've felt this way ever since my conversation with Tempest. It was like finding out that the very foundation of my existence was nothing more than sand all along. Worst of all, it was crumbling, dragging down to an endless abyss. I kept myself busy with learning about spirit magic, but deep down this existential dread ate away at .
"So what?" Anna asked.
I blinked at her in surprise, caught off guard by her words.
"What?" I asked.
Gabriel Sturm, master of eloquence.
"You're afraid that our feelings for each other aren't real," Anna said. "That they're artificial. You're afraid that this Aleah Jeffers implanted them in us sohow. Correct?"
"Yes?" I said, turning it into a question.
"Even if that were true, so what? It doesn't change anything."
I stared at her for a few monts.
"Of course it changes things! It changes everything!"
Anna smiled at as if I were an idiot.
"Does this possibility make you love any less?"
I hesitated for a mont, before I shook my head.
"I feel the sa way," Anna said. "I repeat, so what? You and I love each other. Even if Aleah Jeffers was sohow responsible for this, that doesn't change how we feel." Her smile widened. "If anything, I think it's kind of romantic. I an, doesn't that an we were literally made to love each other?"
Anna and I had different definitions of romantic.
"But then it wouldn't be real," I said.
Anna pulled forward and kissed . Her tongue slipped past my lips, almost forcing itself down my throat, as if she were intent on devouring . When she pulled away, I stood there feeling a little lightheaded.
"Did that feel real to you?" Anna asked, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.
I nodded, still in a bit of a daze.
"Exactly," Anna said. "Nothing can take that away from us. Regardless of the truth, I choose to believe in us. I choose to believe in my love for you, and your love for . Can you do the sa? Even if it turns out that Aleah Jeffers is sohow responsible for our feelings? Can you do that, for my sake if nothing else?"
In that mont, I felt as if I stood before a crossroads. To believe in our love for each other or not? The forr ant accepting the possibility that our feelings were a lie. The latter ant leaving Anna, since there wasn't any point in fighting for a love I didn't believe in.
When put like that, it wasn't much of a choice at all.
I closed my eyes and pressed my forehead against Anna's. I breathed in her vanilla scent and soaked in her body's warmth. Her taste lingered on my tongue. Her breathing sounded like sweet music to my ears.
Anna's presence helped ground , pulling away from the crumbling sand and the endless abyss. Little by little, I regained a asure of sanity.
"I choose to believe in you," I said. "I choose to believe in us."
Even if our feelings for each other turned out to be a lie, I no longer cared. I'd drink from this poisoned chalice with a smile on my face.
"Good," Anna said. "Now co here."
She grabbed my arm and pulled forward. I opened my eyes to find her dragging towards our bed.
"What about the feast?" I asked.
"Fuck the feast," Anna said, a burning desire in her eyes. "I need you inside ."
With that, both of us tumbled into bed.
We never made it to the feast.
I woke up the next morning feeling sore all over. Bite marks covered my front, and scratch marks covered my back. Anna hadn't held back last night, and neither had I. We made love to each other in a frenzy, as if we needed to reaffirm our love for one another through physical intimacy.
It worked.
The gnawing existential dread I felt no longer held as much sway over . It still existed, it hadn't gone away, but it no longer worried as much.
I didn't know how much influence Aleah Jeffers had exerted over my life. Maybe she just guided along a particular path, for her own inscrutable reasons. Or maybe she wished to turn into a puppet to do her bidding.
It didn't matter. What mattered were my own decisions and choices from this point on. I would choose my path. If that path happened to align with the one Aleah Jeffers wanted to walk, so be it. As long as I saved Lumina and protected my loved ones, everything else was secondary.
I got up, making sure not to wake up Anna, before I headed down to eat breakfast. When I arrived at the dining room, I found the others already eating. Cally gave a dirty look, while Leroy wore a helpless expression and shook his head. Lord Dominic focused on his food, while Kiki stood behind him.
Grand Priest Darius eyed with worry. Kaya rolled her eyes and followed Lord Dominic's example.
As for our two new companions, they regarded with differing expressions. Priest Jai made no attempt to hide his disdain, while Priestess Natille gazed at with gleaming eyes and a knowing smile. A part of wondered if the latter was like Marcella, in that she could sense emotions.
There was a decent spread on the dining table. I grabbed a nearby plate and started piling it high with food. After last night's activities, I needed to regain my energy.
"Well, well," Cally said in an acerbic tone. "Look who decided to join us."
I gave her a bright smile.
"Good morning everyone," I said. "Sorry I'm late, and I apologize for missing last night's feast. Anna and I started an important discussion, and we lost track of ti."
Cally scoffed.
"I know you two are very active, but there's a ti and place for everything," she said. "Please learn so self control."
"Lady Calla is right," Grand Priest Darius said. "Perhaps I've been too permissive with you two."
Priest Jai shook his head and muttered sothing under his breath. I missed most of it, but I did hear the word vulgar.
"I think it's sweet," Priestess Natille said. "Their passion for each other is beautiful to behold." She paused. "Of course it's unhealthy and poisonous, but still beautiful."
I paused for a mont, before I glanced at Priestess Natille. Well, she wasn't wrong. The feelings Anna and I held for each other bordered on obsession. No. Scratch that. We were obsessed with each other. However, we managed fine thus far. As long as we didn't cross the line, I saw nothing wrong. I an, we were going to marry one another.
After I finished gathering my food, I sat down next to Leroy and started eating. Despite everything, conversation at the table flowed without issue. I learned from everyone else that the feast last night went well, despite my and Anna's absence.
About ten minutes later, Anna ca down as well. The others ribbed her as well, which she took with good humor. She gathered her food, sat next to , and started eating.
When everyone finished eating, everyone split up to get ready for the rest of the day. Grand Priest Darius gestured for to follow him. The two of us headed towards his study, which was a large and well-appointed space filled with comfortable furniture.
His wooden desk was a reasonable size, making the study feel open and airy. Ornate glowstone lamps protruded from the walls. The sll of sandalwood lingered in the air. Large windows overlooked the rear yard.
Grand Priest Darius sat behind his desk and I saw before it. I felt a little like a child about to be scolded by his grandfather. However, the first words out of Grand Priest Darius' mouth caught off guard.
"Are you alright, Gabriel?" he asked.
I blinked at him in surprise.
"Yes," I said. Why do you ask?"
"Despite everything, you're not one to shirk responsibilities. When you start sothing, you see it through. However, you missed last night's feast, a feast you prepared."
I felt a little guilty about that, but not regretful. Anna and I needed to have that conversation, including what took place after.
"So, either sothing happened," Grand Priest Darius continued. "Or you and Lady Annabelle lack self control. If it's the latter, then I'll need to separate you two. I've turned a blind eye to your activities thus far, but I have my limits."
I took a mont before answering.
"When Lord Tempest took over your body and I spoke with him, how much of that conversation do you rember?"
Grand Priest Darius studied for a mont.
"This is relevant, I assu?"
"Yes."
"None," he said. "It was like falling asleep. One mont I was aware, the next I was lost in dreams."
"I see. In that case, let explain a part of the conversation I had with him. It involves Aleah Jeffers."
Grand Priest Darius frowned.
"Your family's retainer?"
I nodded, before I explained what Tempest told about Aleah Jeffers. While I kept so details out, such as her relationship with Tempest, I told Grand Priest Darius everything else. With each word I spoke, his expression grew darker and darker.
"As you can imagine, this revelation troubled ," I said after I finished. "I told Anna about it last night, which left in a chaotic state of mind. I was in no state to attend the feast."
Grand Priest Darius sighed.
"I don't bla you," he said. "According to the records, many who encounter the Wandering Witch end up the sa way."
"'The Wandering Witch?'"
Grand Priest Darius nodded, a grim expression on his face.
"There are certain records that are only available to the grand priests, and a select few others. A few of these records tell about an immortal being called the Wandering Witch. She travels all over Lumina, working towards her own mysterious goals. However, she is also known to ddle in the lives of those she finds interesting."
I gave him a skeptical look.
"And you think Aleah Jeffers and the Wandering Witch are the sa being?"
Grand Priest Darius nodded.
"The Wandering Witch is a… Complicated figure," he said. "Many of the gods despise her for one reason or another, including Lord Tempest. However, she has also aided them and their followers several tis." He paused. "The Wandering Witch also has a particular interest in House Sturm, though we don't know why."
A part of wondered if I should tell him the truth, that House Sturm was descended from the Wandering Witch. However, after thinking it over, I realized that this wasn't a can of worms that I wanted to open.
"Be careful when dealing with the Wandering Witch," Grand Priest Darius said. "She is dangerous. While you may gain many benefits, you're also just as likely to suffer severe losses. I'd advise you to avoid her altogether, but it appears that you've already caught her interest."
I frowned.
"If she is such a dangerous figure, why hasn't the church done anything about her?" I asked.
Grand Priest Darius gave a self deprecating smile.
"We can't," he said. "The records warn that the Wandering Witch's power is on par with the Sun Emperor and the Moon Queen."
I stared at him in disbelief. His words were outright heresy, sothing I never expected to hear from a grand priest.
"I… I can see why these records are restricted to a select few," I said.
Grand Priest Darius nodded.
"I'll keep this to myself for now," he said. "However, if the Wandering Witch becos a threat to your mission or the church as a whole, I will tell the other grand priests. She is that dangerous."
"I'll make sure that doesn't happen," I said.
"Good."
The next few seconds passed in silence.
"So," Grand Priest Darius said. "Now that you've finished negotiating with the church, what are your plans going forward?"
"That depends," I said. "The church offered us resources and manpower. However, that will take a while to sort out. I don't want to waste any more ti by staying here, but we need soone here to keep an eye on things."
"Why not use Kaya? Despite the way she acts, she's a superb administrator."
I frowned.
"I thought she would resu working as your aide after she finished teaching spirit magic. Don't you hate working?"
Grand Priest Darius shrugged.
"It's a small price to pay if it ans helping you with your mission."
I snorted.
"It also ans that Tempest and his followers gain so glory and prestige for aiding us."
Grand Priest Darius grinned at .
"Well, I have no objections. However, I'll have to ask Kaya what she thinks first."
"Fine by ."
With that, we discussed so of the finer details before I headed out.
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