Episode 45
Even hearing Kassel say the potion wasn't working, I couldn't co to my senses for a while.
I was, of course, prepared for the duration to shorten.
Even if five minutes shrank down to one minute, or even 30 seconds, I had plenty of potions, so I could handle it.
But I truly hadn't expected it to end so soon, so abruptly.
"That, that can't be... so suddenly?"
I couldn't quite believe the situation and stamred foolishly, asking again.
"Perhaps, you miscalculated the ti?"
"Didn't you just see it yourself? I risked potion addiction and tried it one last ti."
Any other ti, a system window about displeasure would have popped up first, signaling his mood.
But despite the unwelco interrogation, Kassel's voice was strangely drained as he inford that drinking several potion bottles in a row just now had been his final attempt.
Because of his state, I was forced to realize.
That the insomnia potion truly no longer worked on Kassel.
And that I had encountered the worst-case scenario I had desperately wanted to avoid.
"I've already endured for an hour. This is the limit now."
"..."
"Anything will do. It would be best if you go get sothing I can cut myself with right now."
Even with blood already trickling down his forehead, Kassel urged in a weary voice to bring him sothing to self-harm with.
I stared at him with blank eyes.
"Why are you just standing there, not moving?"
He prompted again, seeing stand still instead of rushing off.
I slowly opened my mouth.
"...I'm thinking about sothing."
"I said it's the limit, what kind of bullshit is this."
He must have been incredibly frustrated by my calm reply that I was "thinking" when I should have been running to get a knife, because his eyes shot open fiercely.
After hesitating for a mont, this ti I honestly shared part of my dilemma.
"Whether it's beneficial for to stab you with my own hands or let you self-harm for the remaining ti."
Now that it had co to this, I had to carefully weigh each option to figure out what the best choice was.
For example, was the best course of action really to stop the disaster, even if it ant inflicting pain on Kassel as he requested?
And if I did that, would there be any penalties later in the ga's progression?
Although he said to wake him up even if it ant stabbing him, there was no guarantee he wouldn't resent or Adam if I actually did it.
'...No, in the first place, is enduring pain for the remaining 18 hours even possible?'
If he were cut or stabbed with a knife every ti he showed the slightest sign of dozing off, even a saint would develop murderous intent.
Putting all that aside, I didn't have the guts to torture the Male Lead with my own hands.
It's quite ridiculous considering I'm playing a ga, but I want to minimize casualties other than monsters until the ending.
Even if they're ga characters, I didn't want to see beings who wore human skin and had been talking normally with just monts before get hurt or die. It was just too unpleasant.
Therefore, I also had no intention of watching Kassel put on a self-harm show, splattering blood everywhere.
In the end, the answer was already decided, and all I had to do was give it.
"Ha..."
Feeling a deep sense of disgust for my own hopeless self, I let out the words like a sigh.
"...No matter how much I think about it, causing you pain doesn't seem beneficial to ."
"You shouldn't have ti to leisurely ponder such things."
For soone supposedly nearing his limit from encroaching sleepiness, Kassel's blood-red eyes shone with a sharp light.
"I told you. If you're on the verge of death, bla your own lack of tact and poor judgnt."
"..."
"If I fall asleep, not only this Count's estate, but the place you live, your family and friends, everyone living in the Hailey domain will burn and be torn apart by monsters."
"..."
"Do I really have to spell it out like this for you to act tactfully?"
"You're right."
I, who had been silent the whole ti, nodded with a gloomy expression.
Because I had just discarded all the lesser evils.
And had just chosen the absolute worst with my own hands.
"I'll probably bla myself constantly and regret this choice."
GM Jinu: This should be enough to do it alone, right? If you can't, you're just bad at gas. 'mit it?
Jinu's taunt from earlier echoed in my ears.
But Kassel, not understanding the true aning of my words, spat out as if chewing them.
"Then go get the knife right now, stop being frustrating."
His eyes were heavily bloodshot, perhaps because fighting off the encroaching drowsiness was becoming increasingly difficult and stressful.
"I won't make you stab . Just bring a dagger, and I'll take care of it myself..."
"When do you think you'll fall asleep?"
I cut off his rapid-fire words and first checked the remaining ti.
"You must be dying to get killed, damn it!"
He cursed roughly, then glared at as if he would tear apart and asked.
"Are you feeling so pathetic guilt now?"
I was dumbfounded by his incomprehensible words.
"...Guilt?"
"Right. Just throw a potion bottle like last ti."
"..."
"You were having fun, hitting perfectly through the bars, weren't you?"
At Kassel's words, I was truly aghast, my jaw dropping.
Separate from the rapidly unfolding situation, I felt my heart plumt.
My racing thoughts screeched to a halt.
Not only did I not know why that incident was being brought up now...
"Did you... know it was ?"
I had thought Kassel wouldn't know in the slightest, so my voice trembled pathetically as I asked back.
Seeing my noticeably flustered state, unlike before, Kassel openly snorted.
"You flinch like that every ti I ntion killing. It was harder to pretend I didn't know."
"Th-that's..."
"Unfortunately, that thod didn't help stay awake in the slightest."
Wiping the smile from his face in an instant, he fixed with a serious, glaring stare.
"Getting grazed by a few glass fragnts like that doesn't even tickle."
"..."
"And even then, the potions healed the wounds right away. I wondered what you were thinking, doing sothing like that."
"That's..."
"As you saw earlier, to feel pain, you have to at least tear the flesh and dig deep."
At his quietly recited words, the image of him from earlier replayed instantly in my mind.
Kassel, having managed to break the reinforced glass potion bottles, gripping a fistful of shards, blood dripping steadily.
The tallic scent that hit my nose and the splattered blood replayed, making shudder involuntarily.
"I've been wondering sothing for a while."
Although the grueso wounds had already vanished thanks to the healing potion, I couldn't help but scrutinize his hand, which I was still holding, my face contorted.
"...Why are you going to such lengths to protect this place?"
I knew it was an ill-tid question.
But now, I couldn't stand not knowing.
I had to hear the reason now, before he completely fell asleep, to decide the future direction of the ga.
I felt an instinctual premonition.
The Lord of Nightmares feels deep anger at your words.
The Lord of Nightmares holds strong murderous intent towards you.
As if he could no longer stand my sudden question, system windows popped up one after another.
He hissed, murderous.
"Didn't I just say, this is the limit."
"I'll decide whether to do as you ask after I hear the answer."
"Hu..."
At my stubborn reply, he let out a harsh breath, as if swallowing his anger.
But I didn't waver and just stared at him blankly.
Still gripping his one arm, the one with the bloodstained cuff he had used to hit his head.
Kassel briefly glanced at the arm I held, then looked back at .
Perhaps because it was markedly different from my past behavior, where I would scurry away if he got even slightly close.
"...Have you heard of the Lord of Nightmares?"
Unlike when I had feigned ignorance with Adam, I slowly nodded.
There was no point pretending not to know with Kassel now.
Although his tone was murderous, as if spitting curses, my curiosity finally began to be satisfied through his own words.
"I despise that derogatory na. So, those who pinned that stigma on , and those who call that, I hunted down and killed them, again and again. Yet..."
"..."
"Yet, far from decreasing, it even began to circulate among the commoners."
"..."
"The Emperor, of course, and everyone in the capital, called that whenever they gathered. As if it were re entertainnt."
As if recalling that ti, Kassel's hand, the one I held, clenched into a tight fist.
His jaw hardened progressively as he stared not at , but into the distant void.
"How could I wash away this disgrace... I agonized over it endlessly."
"..."
"But no matter how much I thought, the only thod that ca to mind was to eliminate the source."
"..."
"Then, the bastards who co crying, demanding I return the dead, will gradually disappear too."
Kassel's gaze, which had been fixed on an unseen enemy as if declaring war, finally returned to .
"...That's all."
"I see."
I nodded silently.
I hadn't realized it, but it seems I'd been curious about this even before I got trapped in the ga.
Why the Male Lead, who kills even users without rcy, was so desperately trying not to fall asleep.
'If I were Kassel, could I go this far?'
The thought I'd had earlier bubbled up again.
I don't know.
Perhaps because I'd never been in a situation as extre as his, I might never know.
What it felt like to be born the Empire's only Crown Prince, live a noble life, and then, due to a curse, fall into the mire in an instant and crawl at the bottom.
At the very least, I didn't think I'd have the ntal capacity to feel sorry for myself and still think about the people who had insulted , or the others who had died because of .
'Is royalty really different?'
Even though he'd been cast out as a criminal and imprisoned far from the capital in the borderlands.
I just found it strange how he still acted so noble and arrogant.
But the fragnt of reason I heard from his own mouth was enough to resolve my curiosity to so extent.
Furthermore, seeing that, beyond that, I even felt a little sorry for the bastard...
It made think that I, too, was just as crazy about this ga as the users and developers I'd been cursing.
"I understand."
I answered quietly.
"I'll handle it myself, Your Highness."
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