The idea of having our little talk in my room might not have been taken well by my other masters, knowing Seo-Jun’s ways.
He might seem changed now, but there was no telling when he would rip the well-behaved mask he was wearing, and show his wild side.
For a case like that... I don’t know, I was just going to have faith that he wasn’t such a buffoon that would throw away all his brownie points for one single night of thrill.
Plus... He asked to trust him, so I was going to keep exercising that trust.
"Just in case, can you leave your door open?" Min-Cheol asked, looking at worriedly, and I could tell what was going through his mind, but...
What I was going to ask Seo-Jun shouldn’t be heard by him until I’ve gotten a satisfactory answer.
"It’s okay, Little Min." I smiled gently at him, caressing his cheek, and then hugged him. "Good night. You shouldn’t play with your sleep, okay?"
He looked at reluctantly and then nodded.
"Goodnight, Hyung," he said, his fingers still stuck on mine, and I smiled.
He was so cute.
I walked into my room and then shut it, my back pressed against it, and I let out a long sigh before raising my head.
Seo-Jun was standing right before , as if trying to corner with that flirty grin on his lips.
"Tell the truth. Did you do all this just to be alone with ?" he asked, but I didn’t respond. "I an, it’s not a surprise you missed that little thing we did at the theater. Want to suck you off again?"
As much as I was tempted to agree to that, my damn needy body, I shook it off my system and went down to business.
"I have a question," I said.
"Hm," he looked at a bit skeptical, wondering what I wanted to ask so badly that I wouldn’t give in to his delicious temptation. "Alright then," he brushed his chin, "ask away. What is it our deal Jo-Pil wants to know so badly?"
"I know why Little Min hates you." I went straight to the point and observed his reaction closely. "I know what you did at his house. Judging by the kind of person you are, it wouldn’t be surprising that you decided to take his maid wherever you felt like it, but sothing just doesn’t add up to ."
Seo-Jun did not say anything. He didn’t even flinch, as if this were all aningless talk to him.
"Unless you aid to get on Little Min’s nerves that day, you wouldn’t have gone that far."
Seo-Jun sighed, brushing the back of his neck.
"Co on, that was all in the past. Who cares what my intentions back then ant?"
"But I care," I said, grabbing his arm. "The fact that your relationship is all ssed up, and you don’t care, is even more botherso."
"Why is it botherso? It doesn’t bother , Jo-Pil."
"Are you sure?" I asked, and he raised an eyebrow.
"What?"
"Are you sure it doesn’t bother you?" I repeated my question, and this ti he did not brush it off or give an imdiate answer.
He stayed silent and then threw his gaze away.
This was a sign that it did bother him, but he decided not to do anything about it. He didn’t want to care.
"What’s your question, Jo-Pil?" he asked, his voice calm but void.
"I want to know," I said, my grip tightening on his arm, "that day... Did... Did you do that because you wanted Little Min to hate you, or..." I raised my gaze and made sure I t his eyes, "Did you do it for Little Min’s sake?"
We fell into a brief silence, which was soon broken by Seo-Jun, who cackled.
"Wow, you’re even more intuitive than I thought, Jo-Pil," he said, and then pushed his face towards . "I thought you were just a clueless rabbit who only knew how to protect itself. But turns out, you can see beyond the surface."
I pursed my lips, feeling a bit anxious.
Did this an I hit the mark?
"Oh man, I was sure I kept up the act pretty well," he said, moving back. "No one would’ve been able to find out, since it was the kind of thing I was capable of doing, so..." He glanced at , and then at my hand desperately gripping his. "How did you figure out sothing was amiss?"
Here it was, the question I was sure he would ask.
"It’s because... You’re not that kind of person," I said, causing his eyebrows to tilt.
"Say what?"
"I don’t know how to explain it, but... I just know it." I t his eyes. "Master Sun, no, Seo-Jun, you’re not the kind of person who would do such a thing."
Yes, it was true that his character was one who would pick up his friend’s girlfriend and screw with her till he was bored, and openly let his friend know about it later, but... It’s not like he has a black heart.
He wouldn’t do such a thing, no matter how fun it seems, unless he has a valid reason.
The reason creates the circumstances, and that’s when it seems fun to him.
That doesn’t make it sound any less bad, but I hope you understand.
Seo-Jun isn’t a very bad guy.
"Jo-Pil, I don’t know if I’ve told you this, but..." He leaned closer. "I’m not a good guy."
I gulped quietly, his nose nearly brushing against mine.
"I know." He didn’t need to tell that twice.
"And I’m a bad guy, so I don’t understand what you an when you say I’m not ’that kind of guy’," he said.
"You might be bad, but..." I slowly lowered my head. "You’re good to . If you can be good to , doesn’t that an you have a special criterion for people to whom you’re good? You... You can’t possibly be a bad guy to everyone."
"Oh, of course I can," he said and chuckled. "And you seem to be mistaken about sothing. I’m only a good guy to you because you’re you, Jo-Pil. You’re the only one who thinks I’m a good guy anyway. The rest of the world already knows I’m a bad guy, so don’t delude yourself with such thinking."
"But the rest of the world doesn’t know you," I suddenly blurted out, spiking his interest. Ah, what do I say after this? Because of this, his next question was going to be...
"And you happen to know all of ?" he asked, and I went quiet.
I couldn’t tell him that I knew all of him. I knew his struggle as a child, how he was abused and corrupted, how he’s been living his life with the forced chanism he put up, and how he can’t do without it.
I know so much about him that it hurts to even speak it out.
I raised my head, looked into his eyes with a pitiful gaze, and said no words.
He never hurt anyone just because he wanted to hurt them. He’s just a broken child who doesn’t know how to play nicely.
I gripped his arm and said,
"Seo-Jun," he wanted to call him by his na, didn’t he? Let’s do that. "I’ve seen enough to know the kind of person you are... Deep inside here." I pressed my hand on his chest. "So, don’t try to hide that good side of you simply because the world may never see that part of you. I..." I clenched my fists on his chest. "I see you. Doesn’t that matter?"
Seo-Jun was stunned speechless. How was it that I was able to steal his breath with my innocent chatter?
I definitely didn’t know the gravity that weighed on his shoulders, he believed, so he had every right to be mad at the way I was speaking so lightly to him as if the world was all roses.
And yet... He couldn’t get mad.
Instead, he felt light in his chest, as if he was surrounded by flower petals and no sign of rose thorns.
My words, my acknowledgent, it was just one person, but... It managed to lt sothing inside him and give him a glimr that he had lost a long ti ago.
"Hah," he covered his face as he let out an exasperated sigh. "I knew you were special," he said, and I blushed.
What was that now?
"I’ll tell you what you want to hear, Jo-Pil," he said, holding my hand on his chest. "You believe I’m a good guy, right? Well, you’re not totally wrong, but even then, my thods are all flawed, so I deserve to be called a villain. Even then, will you still look in the eyes with that soft gaze and whisper such nonsense to ? Nonsense about being a good guy?"
Ah, he’s so... Charming when he says such things.
I thought of this and ended up laughing.
"What? What’s funny?" he asked, but I shook my head and said,
"You... You’re not bad," I said. "You’re just... Morally grey."
Hearing this, he also laughed.
"That’s just saying I’m one level short of being a psychopath, isn’t it?" he asked, and I shrugged.
"Whatever works for you," I said, and he felt irked.
"You..." I laughed. The mood felt a little lighter.
"Forget that," I said, wiping the tears off the corners of my eyes and started walking towards my bed.
I sat down and made him sit next to , so we could feel comfortable while he told all about it.
This ti... I would get to the bottom of it and rekindle their broken relationship.
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