"How could you not know?" he asked her in a deeply strained and pained soft voice.
One that was filled with anguish as a result of the betrayal which he was feeling.
"How?" he repeated. "How could you not see that it wasn’t ? How could you fall in love with him?"
His gaze lingered on her, as the mories of Scarlet and Nyx plundered his mind over and over.
"You are blaming ." she responded, disbelief coating every inch of her tone. "Do you hold responsible for sothing that even I was not aware of? How could I have known that it was not you for heavens sake Esong he is a part of you? It was your face, your voice, you, it was you that i saw so tell how i could have known?"
"Because you are just like him." he yelled, filled with resentnt.
He stomped his foot, releasing a powerful wave of energy and glass shattered in the distance, lots of glass but Scarlet didn’t even look back or around. As much he was feeling betrayed, so was she.
"You should have known." he whispered. "When I found about about him after i was taken prisoner in the underworld, all i could think about, wonder about, was if you knew and sohow you were okay with it. That you wanted him the reaper and not the human. I was deeply afraid that you were happy for my consciousness to be erased because you could be with him forever. Bye-bye to the human Esong who would die in a few years and hello to Nyx, the strong and immortal son of a god."
He laughed dryly and shook his head. "You think you are insecure then what about ? I have been doubting our entire relationship in the last few months. It’s entire premise has been false because you are not Scarlet. I am in love with an an entirely different person and i know nothing about her.
I am afraid to ask you if you love because i don’t know if you love for or because you beca her, Scarlet so you had no choice but to love .
I keep wondering what was real and what was false between us. I keep hunting all these demons and monsters because I am filled with all this rage and anger and I don’t know where else to put it because i cannot bring it ho to you. I don’t want you to see like this, weak, unsure and afraid."
Just as she had been crying, so did he begin.
"That’s why I didn’t want to talk because how i am feeling is not going to be helpful. All it’s going to do is cause us both pain."
Scarlet’s legs trembled with weakness and she sat down slowly. She had known all along that he was sohow angry with her but not to this extent. She didn’t know that he was blaming her for Nyx too and all that happened to him.
She snorted, and started laughing despite the tears forming in her eyes again. Esong’s forehead creased as he saw the helplessness take over her. Suddenly he regretted having said all that was on his mind. It was not his intention to cause her pain. He really did love her and all he wanted was for them to sohow get past this and go back to being their old loving selves.
He bent down and touched her cheeks, wiping the tears away from her face.
"I am sorry." he apologized in a deeply regretful voice.
She slapped his hand away. "I told you to stop apologizing if you don’t even know what you are apologizing for. I wanted us to talk, i can’t pick and choose what i hear."
This was what she had been searching for after all, the good and the bad.
"Severus was right after all, you need ti to think, clear your mind and deal with your emotions." She looked at him and added, "And so do I."
He shook his head and put his hands on her shoulders. She was speaking in that ti again, like she had given up on them. "We can fix this, don’t talk like this."
"How?" she asked him. "We are not healthy right now, Esong, we are a ss. One giant ss that cannot be brought down at once."
He was obviously still angry with her and she didn’t want to be around him if she was going to be on the receiving end of his anger. She didn’t want to endure the silent treatnt or walk on eggshells in the house afraid that every little thing she said would set him off.
"We need ti apart to figure things out." she said. "You need to co to terms with who you are now and I need to discover who i am out of your shadow.
From the mont i ca into this body i have been nothing but Scarlet your wife. I have been working hard to keep our marriage afloat and gain your love.
I need to be a little selfish and think about myself without worrying about you. I need to be healthy ntally in order to be a good mother."
"Scar.." he croaked out.
"I won’t stop you from seeing the children, spending ti with them or sleeping over at ho. I want things to be as normal for them as possible. I will be civil and i hope that you will be the sa way too."
"Scar..." he called her again, a plea in his voice.
She looked at him. Just as tears were running down her face again, so was it for him, only his tears were now weirdly red.
It pained her that this was what was best and only way for them to save each other right now. They couldn’t force the relationship to work right now, not like this.
Talking right now would not fix them and pretending that everything was okay would make it all worse. Ti was all they needed, she thought, as much ti as it took to heal since they had forever.
She touched his cheek and raised her head, touching her forehead to his gently. He swept her off her feet and pulled her into a tight hug.
"I am so sorry." he cried out.
" too." she responded.
She had no idea why she was apologizing but she felt the urge to do so.
"I love you, i really do love you." he admitted.
Scarlet nodded. It was not a lie, she already knew this. At no point had she co to doubt it.
"This is not the end of us, it cannot be. I will get rid of all the anger and return to the man i used to be, your rock and your strength. I will make you happy again, I promise. I will return to you all the confidence in that you have lost." he spoke with determination, short of swearing an oath. "Please don’t love anyone else while you wait because i will never love anyone but you." he pleaded desperately.
Scarlet covered her eyes and cried more as she felt her heart crumble.
Reviews
All reviews (0)