Chapter 211
Xie Shiqing's words inexplicably flashed through her mind again, lingering and refusing to fade.
In fact, Zhong Ning knew that what she had said did make sense. She was also well aware of where her own problem lay—she simply had no ability to deal with crises.
Although she told herself to solve problems and face them head-on, in reality, her first instinct was still to avoid them.
Soone who had never needed to solve problems—how would she know what to do when difficulties ca?
It was like soone who had never eaten a crab before; faced with this shelled creature with eight legs, how could they, as if divinely inspired, know how to crack it open and distinguish between what could be eaten and what couldn't?
Zhong Ning clearly understood where her own shortcomings were. That was why, when Xie Shiqing spoke, her words had struck directly at the weakest point in Zhong Ning's defenses.
Knowing one's shortcomings ant they must be corrected.
That sentence could practically be considered her life motto.
And in Zhong Ning's understanding, she didn’t find it all that difficult to correct the flaws in her own personality.
If sothing was wrong, then it had to be fixed—how simple.
When faced with problems, one should press forward against the odds.
Constantly avoiding them—that was the behavior of a coward.
Thinking of this, Zhong Ning couldn’t help but give a bitter, self-deprecating smile and muttered under her breath, "That’s why I say this about myself..."
Knowing sothing was wrong and still doing it, only knowing to run away when problems ca—if that wasn’t cowardice, then what was?
Zhong Ning dragged her feet dispiritedly, bought a grilled sausage from a roadside stand, and gnawed on it slowly.
Sigh...
So hard.
Being a person was so hard. Just living was hard.
If only she could turn into a cloud, floating in the sky every day, never having to deal with any relationships, never needing to think, without any worries, carefree—how happy that would be.
Night gradually fell. Her legs were sore and weak, and she couldn’t walk another step. She just so happened to stop in front of a mutton hotpot restaurant.
The rich and fragrant sll of at stirred her appetite, and with a turn of her foot, Zhong Ning stepped into the shop.
The owner ca over to greet her. "Aiya, girl, just you alone?"
Zhong Ning nodded listlessly.
"Then co sit over here!"
The owner led her further into the shop and brought her to an empty seat. "What do you want to eat? Here’s the nu."
Zhong Ning didn’t look at it. "You recomnd sothing. Just the signature dishes."
"But you won’t be able to finish all that on your own," the owner chuckled. "I’ll give you a basic pot then. Want sothing to drink?"
Zhong Ning shook her head. "It’s fine to add more vegetables. If I can’t finish, I’ll pack it up for tomorrow. I just want to eat sothing nice. For drinks... just a cola, iced."
"Alright, I’ll add things as I see fit. You’re not avoiding anything, right? Like green onions or cilantro?"
Zhong Ning shook her head again. "No dietary restrictions."
The owner left, and after a while, ca back with a can of iced cola and a plate of boiled edama. Upon seeing her, he smiled and didn’t go to greet other custors. Instead, he sat down across from her. "Girl, what kind of troubles do you have? Want to talk to about them?"
"...Am I really showing it that clearly?" Zhong Ning touched her face.
"Very clearly." The owner pushed the cola and edama toward her. "Go on, tell . Maybe I can give you so advice."
Zhong Ning t her concerned gaze and, for no reason at all, let out a sigh first.
"It’s my girlfriend… ex-girlfriend."
The owner showed an expression of unsurprised understanding, as if she had expected this all along.
Zhong Ning paused, then rubbed her face hard with both hands. "There were so problems between us—not big, but not exactly small either."
"She… had a very unfortunate childhood, so when it cos to many issues, we can’t see eye to eye. I feel sorry for her, and I wanted to heal her wounds… pretty laughable, right?"
The owner replied seriously, "I don’t think it’s laughable. It ans you love her."
"She actually did change, but the change wasn’t complete. I, myself, have a lot of issues too. I’m a bit too idealistic, like I always think things should go the way I envisioned them, and when they don’t, I can’t handle it very well."
"She made changes, but I felt it didn’t reach the standard I had in mind. I felt like all my effort was wasted, like I spent so much emotional energy on her, yet all she cared about was hiding things from . She could’ve just told ! I would’ve accepted it if she did! We even agreed to be honest with each other—why couldn’t she stick to that!"
The more Zhong Ning spoke, the faster her words ca, her bottled-up frustration igniting into flas.
She couldn’t talk to friends about this, couldn’t speak to the person involved either, so everything had just kept piling up—until now, spilling out completely in front of a total stranger she had never t before.
"…Sorry. Was I being too loud?"
She took a deep breath. "I was at fault too. I promised to stay by her side, but I didn’t follow through. I ran away as soon as I hit a bump in the road."
"By that logic, neither of us kept our promises."
"She said she wants to get back together. I… my mind is a ss. I don’t know what to do."
The owner silently kept peeling edama while listening to her, then said, "Do you still like her? I’m guessing you do."
Zhong Ning nodded gloomily.
"If you like her, then just get back together. If it doesn’t work out, break up again," the owner said casually. "What’s there to overthink? If you were really sure about your decision, you wouldn’t even be hesitating right now."
"You don’t seem that old either. Just let ti be wasted then! How can a young person not have at least one passionate relationship? Sothing to look back on when you’re old."
She spoke earnestly, "So what if you trip and lose four or five years? You’re still young. There’ll be plenty more chances to love again. What are you afraid of? Just treat it as life experience."
"When I was younger, I got the short end of the stick too. My ex-wife ran off with soone else and left , a mother, to raise a pair of twins by myself. Back then, it was even worse than what you’re dealing with. I cried so much my eyes nearly went blind. The kids were just a few months old when she cheated. And she had the nerve to say, ‘I’m just reminiscing about the old you.’ Ugh," the owner rolled her eyes dramatically, "that girl didn’t even look a hair like . If you’re gonna cheat, just cheat. Don’t make excuses."
Reviews
All reviews (0)