Xia Liang always rembered a phrase from her childhood: Good children are loved.
These words from her mother, back when her parents were still affectionate and life was happy, echoed in her mind, "Is our little puppy obedient? Only good children are loved, and Mommy likes good children too."
"Little puppy" was her nickna at that ti because she liked to bite people when she was angry, so whenever she opened her mouth, her parents would laugh and say, "The little puppy is biting again."
Xia Liang felt that she wasn't a little dog, and she could be very well-behaved. From then on, she rarely bit anyone when she was angry.
She beca the good child in the eyes of her parents and their friends.
She was sweet and affectionate at ho, earning her parents' doting love with her sweet smiles; in social settings, she was sensible and polite, eliciting praise from relatives and elders; at school, she was obedient and diligent, serving as a role model for her classmates.
The harder she tried to beco more well-behaved and sensible, the happier and more fulfilling her life seed to be, and Xia Liang grew accustod to this. But everything changed a few years later.
She didn't know whether the cause was her father's ntion of "finding another job" or her mother's talk of "being swindled out of a large sum of money," but from then on, she seldom saw smiles on her parents' faces.
Her father always wore a frown when he ca ho, and her mother frequently sighed and beca more irritable.
Whenever this happened, Xia Liang would step forward, trying to cheer them up and make them smile.
This approach worked at first; when Xia Liang put on her cute and obedient act, her parents would force a smile and laugh with her. But as ti went on, no matter how hard Xia Liang tried, it was no longer effective.
She found it strange, wondering if it was because she wasn't well-behaved enough to make her parents happy anymore.
One day, she discovered that her mother started taking money from the house.
Her mother claid she could earn money, but after bringing so back at the beginning, the money she took never returned.
Her father began to co ho less often, and even when he did, it was only to argue with her mother, angrily accusing her of "gambling the family's money away," while her mother accused him of "being unemployed and having an affair."
At that ti, Xia Liang scarcely understood these words; she knew gambling and affairs were bad, but she had never imagined they would happen in her own ho.
She mustered her courage, for the first ti deciding not to be the good child, because she wanted to convince them to stop fighting—constant arguing would surely harm their relationship.
But this attempt failed, and her parents dismissed her, telling her to "get out of the way."
So Xia Liang reverted to being the good child again. No matter how her parents fought, she stopped trying to interfere, but instead kept showing them her smiling face.
She continued to study hard at school, bringing ho many certificates, hoping her good performance would make her parents a bit happier. Yet, these certificates ended up being tossed carelessly on the table, as if they were re scraps of paper.
As the parental fights escalated into violence one day, the certificates were soaked by spilled boiling water, their inscriptions rendered illegible.
Eventually, her father began to hit her mother, and then insisted on getting a divorce.
He declared he'd had enough of such a woman, he had a new love, and he wanted to choose his own happiness.
Her mother, undoubtedly, disagreed. She had yet to prove that she was the backbone of the family, that she could recoup the lost money; she believed that her father was equally responsible for this.
Household items were sold off, and the conflict between her parents intensified, leaving Xia Liang to hide behind a crack in the door watching their quarrels before returning to her howork.
—She had to be the good child because good children are liked.
Then one night, she heard her father in a rage.
He yelled, "Why did you touch my personal money, I'll kill you, you wretched…".
Her mother was screaming too, saying, "If you dare, just try and hit !"
And then, they really ca to blows. Among the dull thuds, roars, and screams, when Xia Liang cautiously peered out from the door, she could only see her mother, standing blood-stained, holding a knife, and her father lying motionless at her feet.
"Co here."
That was the first thing her mother said when she saw Xia Liang.
Xia Liang felt afraid because her mother's voice was devoid of warmth, and the knife was gripped tightly in her hand.
But she was a good child, and good children obey. Mommy liked good children, so she had to comply.
She walked over.
Her mother stabbed her with a knife.
The sensation was painful, very uncomfortable, but Xia Liang still rembered she needed to be a good child, so even though she scread in pain, she held back her tears and did not cry.
The police who broke in took away her mother, and also took away Xia Liang, who had nearly been killed.
In the end, as she watched her mother being taken away, she struggled and showed her mother the ingratiating smile she always had.
——"Stop smiling so foolishly."
That's what her mother said, "It makes sick."
In that mont, it was as if sothing shattered within Xia Liang's heart, leaving behind nothing but a pitch-black, bottomless void.
Just like that, she lost her parents.
Relatives were unwilling to take care of her, and inexplicably, the family mbers who used to visit occasionally had long stopped associating with her family.
Xia Liang beca a child nobody wanted.
She didn't want to leave ho, but neither did anyone want to take care of her, so she lived alone in that house, surviving on the subsidies provided by the municipal governnt.
In school, the classmates who had disliked and rejected her for being "the good child from soone else's family" got wind of the rumors sohow. They started shouting that her mother was a murderer and turned it into a rhyming chant, singing it whenever they saw Xia Liang.
The school teachers were also powerless, unable to control the children's behavior in private no matter how they scolded them in class. It was only on the last day of elentary school, as the children graduated, that a teacher spoke to Xia Liang in a tone tinged with the frustration of unt hopes:
"They've all acted like this, so why can you, silly child, still manage to smile?"
Why could she still smile? Xia Liang didn't know the answer to that herself.
In fact, was she really still smiling?
There was no longer anyone who would see her smiles, no point in showing off her docile nature, but she still did so subconsciously.
So, upon entering middle school, due to the rumors from elentary school, still no one wanted to be her friend.
No matter how Xia Liang fawned or ingratiated herself, everyone would only avoid her in fear.
The only ones willing to accept her were those referred to by others as "tough girls" and "delinquents." They thought that the fact Xia Liang's mother killed soone and went to jail was really cool.
"But you look too plain."
That's how they described her, "Want to join us? Fix yourself up first, okay?"
So Xia Liang learned to put on makeup.
If dressing up well made them accept her, then she would dress up; if acting frivolously matched their mindset, then she would mimic them; if it required money for them to see her for who she was, then she'd give them money.
To be accepted, to be cared for, to hear words of comfort, to have close relationships, to have "love."
The emptiness in her heart could not be filled, and like a dying person clutching at straws, she followed in the footsteps of these "friends," hoping they would turn back and look at her.
Until she reached the edge of the quagmire, and saw her friends standing in it, beckoning to her.
She began to want to refuse, to back away, but she was firmly trapped, an unnad force pushing her, trying to shove her into it.
There was no turning back.
When she had given up, ready to calmly accept that future, another force appeared, firmly pulling her back from behind.
Then, soone grabbed her wrist and lifted her out of the endless darkness into the azure sky.
That beautiful blue was the color of the sky, just as clear as the pair of eyes facing her.
She asked herself:
"Do you want to beco a Magical Girl?"
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