Chapter One Hundred and Ninety- Three
The pain spiked again, blinding and sudden, coiling low and unforgiving. Her grip on the wheel tightened until her knuckles ached. Her vision tunneled, every red light, and every passing car blurring around the edges.
"No," she whispered through gritted teeth, trying to will her body to obey, to hold on. But her body had its own rules now.
Now...
Was it her baby?
A warmth spread between her legs, wet and undeniable. She froze, heart hamring in disbelief, panic rising behind the disciplined mask she had worn for so long. The realization hit her in a wave: if she was pregnant, and would not nstruate, then... she was losing the baby.
Her fingers trembled on the steering wheel. She yanked the handbrake and the car screeched to a stop again at the side of the road. She leaned her forehead against it, gasping, trying to catch a steady breath.
The world felt impossibly loud in her ears. Was it the fight?
Tears pricked her eyes, but she blinked them away. She didn’t have the luxury of collapsing, not here, not now. Her body betrayed her, and yet she remained upright, like the soldier she was to the very end.
She pressed a hand to her stomach, the warmth spreading there a cruel reminder of what she was losing. A wave of grief crashed over her, sharp and cold, but underneath it, a strange, fierce anger burned.
She swallowed hard, her throat burning as the thought clawed its way up from sowhere she didn’t want to look at. Was this nature’s verdict on her? A quiet, rciless way of saying she wasn’t ant for this... that a woman like her had no right trying to hold on to sothing so soft, and so fragile?
Her jaw tightened as the idea settled, heavy and cruel.
She hadn’t failed anyone before. But the life she carried was... gone?
Her breath broke as another wave of pain tore through her. She held her stomach tighter, as if she could keep what was already slipping away.
Was she that unworthy to be a mother?
The question hurt more than the pain itself. She had never asked life for rcy, never begged for a baby. And yet, when she found out she could have a baby, she had been looking forward to that.
"All my life, all I have ever done is survive, fight, endure, and follow orders. And for once, just this once, I have wanted sothing to call mine, and you take that away from . If this is taken from ," she whispered, voice shaking, "does that an I was never ant for it? Then why did you give it to in the first place?"
The question echoed back at her, hollow and relentless.
Her grip tightened on the steering wheel. A shaky breath tore out of her chest, and sowhere between the pain and the fear, sothing shifted.
"What if this isn’t a punishnt? What if it is a test? What if the child hasn’t been given to to be taken away... but to see if I would fight for it?"
Her jaw set. No. She refused to believe this was the end. She had fought dangerous wars. She had survived things ant to break her.
"I’m not done," she whispered fiercely, more to herself than to anything else. "Not yet." If saving this child was the price of showing she was worthy, then she was going to do everything in her power to make him or her live.
Her fingers fumbled for her phone. She first called Aht twice but his phone was off. Then, she found Cole’s na and called once. It went straight to voicemail. She tried again. Yet, nothing. A curse slipped past her lips, sharp and panicked. She didn’t have ti to wait. She didn’t have ti for anyone else to help her.
She pressed the phone aside and started the car. This was the first ti she was driving toward a real hospital and not to a private clinic nor a place owned, bribed, or guarded by n who knew her na or her father’s. For her child, she would take the risk she had avoided her entire life. She wouldn’t go anywhere the Mafia frequented. Anywhere familiar was dangerous to her child. Soone could talk or harm it.
She needed a place where she was just another woman walking through the doors, scared and bleeding and desperate.
"For you," she murmured, eyes burning as she focused on the road ahead. "I’ll be anyone but who I am."
She cleaned her tears with the back of her hand, rough and impatient, then stopped. The handkerchief caught her eye.
It lay beside her, neatly folded, and already stained faintly at the edges with blood. She stared at it for a second longer than necessary, sothing tight twisting in her chest. Why was she the only one feeling the pain? His phone was off when she needed him the most. Then she grabbed it and pressed it to her face, to her eyes, and to her mouth when a sob threatened to break loose.
She breathed into the fabric, grounding herself. Crying wouldn’t save anything. The doctors would.
Her fingers trembled as she reached for the screen on the dashboard. She typed quickly, almost blindly, then selected the nearest best hospital. The route lit up imdiately, then she activated the self-drive feature.
The car humd as it took control, pulling smoothly back into the road. She leaned back just enough to breathe, one hand pressed firmly to her stomach, the other clenched into a fist.
"Please," she whispered, staring at the glowing path ahead. "Just hold on."
Every second felt too slow, yet she refused to close her eyes.
When the car finally ca to a stop, she didn’t wait for it to fully power down. She forced the door open and stepped out. Her legs gave way.
"No..." she gasped, pain ripping through her.
Voices erupted around her. "She’s bleeding!" "Call the nurses" "Soone get a nurse!"
She barely registered the faces, only the blur of movent as people rushed toward her. Nurses ca running, and a stretcher appeared beside her like it had been summoned by her fear.
They lifted her, gentle but fast.
"Please," she begged, clutching at one of them, her voice breaking. "Please save my baby."
"We’ve got you," a nurse said firmly, already pushing the stretcher forward. "Stay with us."
As they rushed her inside, Asli stared up at the ceiling lights flashing past, her heart pounding in terror.
She was still fighting, she thought desperately. Was Nature watching? Would that be enough?
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