Chapter Hundred and Ten
His mouth stayed shut, his jaw tight. If he said the rest... if he cracked open that door and showed her what was clawing inside him, it might ruin everything.
So he said nothing else.
But God, he burned.
Her nearness was unbearable. The slope of her throat, the way her shirt clung to the line of her back, the gentle rhythm of her breathing: it was all too much. And still, not enough.
He wanted to run his hands down every inch of her. He wanted to morize her scars with his mouth, hold her until neither of them had to pretend anymore.
He wanted to be seen.
And he wanted her to let him see her, too. In every ssy, broken piece.
But the words stayed trapped in his throat. Because if he told her that if he confessed that she was the first person to make him feel this *
unsteady, and this alive, what would she do?
Would she pull away? Laugh? Panic?
Would he?
His chest ached from the weight of it, this wild, desperate longing to reach across the silence and touch her heart instead of just her skin.
But instead, he stepped back. Just a little.
Not because he wanted distance, but because it felt too dangerous not to.
He was about to step away completely, to let her go, let the silence swallow what he didn’t dare say when she moved.
It was subtle at first. Just the shift of her feet. Then her hands found his chest, her fingers spreading across the fabric like she was grounding herself.
She stood on her toes.
And kissed him.
It was quick. Sudden. Like a spark leaping from a live wire.
Her lips brushed his with a kind of hesitance wrapped in boldness like she’d acted before thinking and thought too much after.
She ant to retreat. He could feel it in the way her body tensed, the way her weight shifted back on her heels.
But he caught her.
One hand slid around her waist. The other cradled the back of her head. It wasn’t rough but rather gentle. Firm. Not letting her run.
A smile tugged at the corner of his lips, soft and slow.
Was this the first ti she had kissed him first?
Yes. Probably.
And damn if it didn’t undo sothing deep in him.
She wasn’t just answering his desire, she was offering sothing. Like trust. Like surrender.
His heart pounded, loud enough that he swore she could hear it. His fingers curled tighter around her waist as his lips pressed back into hers... deeper now, more certain.
The kiss stretched, ti slipping out from under them.
He didn’t rush it. And neither did he push.
He just felt.
Felt the heat of her against him, the trembling of her breath, and the soft hum in her throat as their mouths moved together like they’d done this a hundred tis... but this one felt different.
This one ant sothing to him.
When they finally broke apart, her eyes lingered on his lips like she hadn’t ant to enjoy it that much.
And him?
He was wrecked.
Every part of him ached with the need to say sothing... just anything.
But the words still choked in his throat.
So instead, he leaned in close, his voice whispering against her cheek.
"You are beautiful, Asli." He told her, though he wished he could tell her how scared he was.
Of how much he wanted her.
Of how much he was beginning to need her.
And most of all, what that ant for the man he thought he was.
She didn’t say a word.
Just looked at him.
That steady, unreadable look, maybe even a little daring, held him still. Then, slowly, she stepped back, her fingers drifting to the hem of her blouse.
His breath caught.
She didn’t rush. Didn’t make it seductive or dramatic. There was no teasing in her movents.
The fabric lifted, sliding up her ribs, past the gauze still taped to her side, over the curve of her arms, until it was gone; tossed onto the sink nearby.
His eyes didn’t go to her chest.
Not yet.
They lingered on the wound. The edge of white gauze tinged dark slowly through her skin like it was trying to remind him of how close she’d co to bleeding out in soone else’s arms.
It hit him like a punch to the ribs.
"You are still hurting," he murmured, his voice raw.
"I am fine," she replied, but her voice cracked just slightly around the lie.
She always did that and tried to wear her pain like armor.
But in that mont, with her standing half-bare before him, sothing had changed. There was a softness now... just a flicker... like she was handing him sothing fragile and daring him not to break it.
And still... she hadn’t looked away.
She trusted him to see her like this.
It did sothing to him, sothing irreversible.
The ache in his chest deepened, no longer just about hunger or longing. It was reverence. It was a kind of awe he hadn’t known he was capable of feeling.
He stepped forward, his hands reaching out, slow and careful. Not to pull her into bed. Not to strip the rest of her clothes away.
But to touch her ribs. Just there... right beside the bandaged wound. His thumb skimd the edge of the gauze, reverent.
"I’m not doing it," he whispered, not aning to say it aloud.
She blinked. Her eyes were shifting to anger.
"What?" Her voice ca sharp, brittle.
He didn’t flinch. He just looked at her, willing her to see past his silence—to understand what he couldn’t put into words.
"You are hurt," he said quietly.
Wrong thing to say.
Her body stiffened like a wire pulled taut. "I said I’m fine," she bit out, her voice rising.
"This is the second ti you have—" She cut herself off, lips trembling as anger bled through her tone. "Screw you."
She turned.
Tried to walk away.
Tried.
But he reached for her. Fast. Instinctive.
His hand closed around her wrist before she could take more than a single step. His hold was not tight. Just enough to stop her from leaving.
"I’m only doing it for you."
She whipped around, eyes burning. "For ?" she hissed. "Did I ask you to?"
Her arm jerked in his grip, but he didn’t let go... not yet.
Silence settled between them, thick and bruising.
His mouth opened. Closed. Then finally—
"Sorry," he said.
It was small. Almost like nothing.
But it was all he had.
And it felt like too little.
Her chest rose and fell, fast. Her eyes didn’t leave his. And for a mont, he thought she might shove him. Hit him. Curse him again.
But instead, she just stared like she was searching for sothing she wasn’t sure she wanted to find.
Sothing in him cracked then. A quiet, invisible break.
Because she was right.
She hadn’t asked.
And still, he couldn’t stop himself from trying to carry her pain, even when she was clawing to keep it.
Because now, he knew... he knew that watching those patches on her would hurt worse than being hated by her.
"I have Cole." He suddenly confessed. He knew that would kill her mood... and he was going for it.
She stilled.
The tension that had coiled in her body didn’t snap. It just... calcified. Probably turned to sothing cold.
He saw it imdiately; he saw how her shoulders stiffened, how her fingers slowly uncurled like she was forcing herself not to react.
Her silence rang louder than any scream.
Good, he thought bitterly. Let it hurt. Let her hate him for tonight. Maybe that would be easier.
Well, if only she liked him a bit.
She blinked once, slowly. Her eyes didn’t widen, didn’t flash. Just went... blank. Like a door had shut behind them.
She pulled away from him. This ti he let her go.
Why did he kidnap Cole in the first place? Was it because Markus advised? Or was it because he thought it was for the best?
It was about her. He knew that.
And it scared the hell out of him.
Because every second he spent near her chipped away at his control, at the things he was willing to do for her to survive.
"What ga are you playing?" she finally asked, her eyes dragging over him, slower this ti. Her voice was calm, but the storm was in her eyes. "And why do you have Cole?"
He dragged a hand down his face, the weight of her stare pressing into his skin.
"It’s just business," he said finally.
Her face didn’t even twitch. No blink. No disbelief. Just a cold, dead stare that carved through him cleaner than a blade.
"Business," she repeated.
He nodded once, jaw tight.
She took a step forward. Her voice dropped.
"Do you even know what that ans?" she asked. "Do you know what it ans to keep him?"
He said nothing.
She didn’t need him to.
"You want him to snitch on ." Her voice cracked, just barely. "You want him to betray ."
A pause. Her breath hitched like she hadn’t ant to say it out loud.
"Why?" she whispered. "Why would you even want information from him?"
He didn’t answer.
Because anything he said now... would sound like an excuse. Which it was. But now, he was regretting it.
Because he knew... scratch that... he felt that with every second he stayed silent, sothing between them was slipping.
He could tell Cole ant a lot to her. Even more than Demir did. He knew that now. He wasn’t jealous but the feeling wasn’t pleasant as well.
Asli was reaching for the door. He panicked. For the first ti in his life, he panicked.
Maybe he knew this ti, she wouldn’t co back.
*********
Guys, at this point, I don’t even know the direction we are even going.
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