Too Lazy to be a Villainess Chapter 207: Suspicious Girlfriend Energy

[Lavinia’s POV – Hallway, Leaving Cassius’s Chamber]

I walked out of Papa’s chamber, macarons still sweet on my tongue, but my head... ugh, still circling his strange words.

"What if one day you find out I abandoned you?"

Why would he ask that? Papa, who hovers like a hawk, scolds for skipping one page of paperwork and duels weekly once to check whether I am strong or not. When did he ever neglect ? Ridiculous.

I shook my head quickly. "Nope. Overthinking. Overthinking ruins skin. Stress equals wrinkles. Wrinkles equal losing my crown princess glow."

"Lavi."

I turned to see Osric marching toward , all knightly and serious as always. His brows were knit together.

"Did you ask His Majesty... if you’re allowed to go out and buy a dress?" he asked.

"Yes," I replied with a majestic nod. "I did. Papa granted royal permission."

"...He did?"

"Yes." I swayed forward, already heading down the corridor.

Osric followed at once, his boots clicking. "Then shall we leave?"

"Yes."

We walked for a few seconds in silence. But my brain—no, my soul—was too restless. I stretched my arms dramatically toward the ceiling, nearly smacking a passing servant in the face.

"LET’S GOOOOO SHOPPING AND BURN ALL THE STRESS OF MY TRAGIC LIFE!"

Half the maids froze. One dropped her tray.

Osric pinched the bridge of his nose. "And... what kind of stress, exactly, are you talking about?"

I stopped mid-stride, spinning on my heel with all the grace of a theater actress about to deliver a monologue. "Oh, Osric. Sweet, naïve Osric. You will never understand. A woman has many stresses in life."

His expression: deadpan. "Right."

I jabbed a finger at him like I was lecturing a clueless child. "And when that woman is not just any woman, but the Crown Princess of the empire, those stresses increase tenfold!"

He opened his mouth. I cut him off.

"And when—AND WHEN—the god who created this world decides to give this hair, this face, this dazzling charisma..." I tossed my golden hair dramatically. "—do you have any idea the pressure I face daily, Osric? The burden of perfection?"

Osric just stared at . Slowly. Painfully.

"...I see," he said at last, in the tone of a man who very much did not see. "Shall we leave now before you make the servants faint?"

"Yes!" I declared proudly, swishing my dress as if I were on a runway. "Let us descend upon the marketplace like royalty incarnate—and may the fabric vendors pray they survive my presence."

Osric chuckled and muttered sothing under his breath that sounded suspiciously like, "May I survive your presence."

I chose to ignore it. For the sake of our pure love.

***

[Dawnspire Wing—Lavinia’s Chamber—Later]

Sera appeared like a lightning bolt of determination, shoving a pouch into my arms with so much force I nearly staggered back. "Here, Your Highness. I packed everything you could possibly need."

I blinked down at the pouch, suspicious. "...This feels heavy. You didn’t put a dagger in here, did you?"

"No," she said firmly. Then her eyes sparkled like a woman possessed. "I put two."

Osric coughed. I chose not to comnt.

I adjusted the pouch on my shoulder and smiled. "Why don’t you co along, Sera? You’ll get bored staying here all day—"

Her entire body suddenly erupted in fiery energy, fists clenched, eyes blazing. "I. Cannot. Leave."

"Uh—"

"I must prepare for your Tea Party Celebration," she announced, voice trembling with sheer intensity. "I must sip every tea, sll every tea, and test every tea. Each blend must be flawless—balanced in aroma, perfect in taste, and harmonious with pastries. AND!" She jabbed a finger toward the ceiling as if declaring war. "Every cup shall co with a warning label if necessary!"

There was a very, very long silence.

Osric and I just... stared.

Finally, I whispered, "Did she just say... tea with warnings?"

Osric’s jaw twitched. "...Yes. Yes, she did."

I tilted my head at him. "Do we... have tea with warnings, Osric?"

His expression was blank, but I swear his soul had left his body. "...Not until this exact mont. Sera must’ve... invented it."

"Wonderful," I muttered, rubbing my temples. "My tea party is going to be a battlefield. Forget sugar cubes, we’ll need shields."

Trying to regain so semblance of sanity, I asked, "Fine. Then what about Rey and Marshi?"

Sera straightened, her voice sharp again. "Lord Rey said he has important work to do and went out."

I nodded.

"And Marshi?" I prompted.

Sera’s face softened—way too much. "Marshi is still... in his honeymoon period."

"... It’s been five days already. Seriously, how much stamina does that divine tiger have?" I muttered under my breath before grimacing. "Gods forbid I end up clearing away the corpse of his poor mate. That would be awkward."

Osric sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose like this conversation had already taken ten years off his life. "And...Solena is sulking at ho."

I blinked. "...Why?"

He shrugged, as if this was the most normal thing in the world. "Maybe because Marshi found a mate."

I stared. Hard. "...You’re telling . A divine eagle. Is sulking. Because a divine tiger got a wife?"

"Yes," Osric said without hesitation.

There was silence. The kind of silence where my brain tried very hard not to break itself.

"...Osric."

"Yes?"

"Do you hear yourself?"

"Yes."

I pointed at him accusingly. "You said that with a straight face!"

"Yes."

I threw my hands up. "THE PEOPLE AROUND WITH DIVINE BEINGS ARE NOT NORMAL!"

Osric shrugged with the casual air of a man who’d seen too much. "Maybe I should look for Solena’s mate too."

I stopped dead in my tracks, staring at him like he’d grown another head. "What? Are you planning to... arrange marriage services for divine beasts now? Like so kind of celestial dating agency?"

"...If it works," Osric replied, completely serious.

My soul left my body. I buried my face in my hands. "Oh, God. Oh, heavens. Save from these lunatics."

Sera was already muttering to herself about roasting oolong and balancing bitterness with warnings. Osric was contemplating matchmaking a divine eagle. And ? I was supposed to be the normal one.

Which, frankly, was the scariest part of all...BECAUSE I AM INSANE TOO!!!

DAMN IT!!!

I clutched my pouch, straightened my spine like a warrior going to battle, and marched forward. "Let’s... let’s leave before I lose my remaining sanity," I declared, my voice echoing through the hallway like a tragic heroine narrating her doom.

Osric trailed behind , deadpan as ever. "Lavi, my love, do you... have sanity left?"

I whipped my head around to glare at him. "Excuse you! I have exactly three and a half points of sanity left, thank you very much! And at this ratrate—"waved my arms dramatically, nearly hitting a poor passing maid—"I will need shopping therapy to refill it."

The maid bowed so fast she nearly tripped. Osric pinched the bridge of his nose. "...Shopping therapy. Right."

His lips twitched as if he wanted to laugh louder, but he wisely chose silence. And just like that—I left for shopping.

Because at this rate...I DEFINITELY NEED IT!!!

***

[Lily Boutique—Capital City—Later]

The carriage rolled to a stop, and Osric imdiately stepped down with that stiff, Grand duke-ly elegance of his. He stretched out his hand toward like so gallant storybook hero.

I placed my small hand in his, daintily hopping out with grace.

We stopped right in front of Lily Boutique, the sign glittering in gold letters. I tilted my head, lips pursing.

"Hmmm... is this that famous boutique I keep hearing about?"

Osric nodded briskly. "Yes. I heard all noble won co here often for their shopping. They have... different kinds of varieties. Always following the latest trends."

I froze mid-step. Slowly, very slowly, I turned to glare at him.

"Oh? Wow." I drawled, narrowing my eyes like a detective about to catch a cheating suspect. "Tell , Osric... don’t you think you have way too much information about ladies’ stores?"

He blinked. "...Eh?"

I leaned in closer until our noses nearly touched, my red eyes gleaming with suspicion. "Don’t tell ..." My voice dropped low and dramatic. "You spy on won when they shop? Hmmm? Do you?"

Invisible daggers shot from my gaze, stabbing him repeatedly in his guilty little soul.

His face twitched, and he gave the weakest, most nervous laugh I’d ever heard. "Wha—what are you even saying, Lavi? I—I only have my eyes on you!" He jabbed his finger at his own chest like an oath. "? Glance at other won? I don’t even glance at the first letter ’W’ in the word woman!"

I squinted, deadpan. "...Really?"

"Yes! Really!" He looked like he was about to faint. "The only female existence in my dictionary is you, My dear Lavi!"

I crossed my arms. "Hmmm. Sounds like exactly the kind of thing a guilty man would say."

He flailed his arms. "I am NOT guilty! I’m innocent!"

I gave him one last piercing stare... and then huffed, turning toward the boutique. "Hmph. Fine. But I’ll be watching you. One wrong move, Osric, and I’ll drag you into the won’s undergarnt section until you cry."

He followed close behind, practically tripping over his own feet as he pleaded, "Lavi... I’m telling the truth. I have only eyes on you—my love."

I didn’t even glance at him. Nope. Crown princess mode: activated. With my chin raised and my steps echoing across the marble floor, I ignored his desperate words and marched straight inside the boutique.