>>Hael (Childhood)
I never wanted to rember my father. He was the man who left my mother after promising her he would co back to her but never did.
My mother and I lived in a pretty isolated place. It was a serene place, we lived in a furnished cottage by the river in the middle of a vast field. But as far as my mories go, I only rember my mother waiting for the human she fell for, but with each passing day in which he made no contact with her, she seed to grow more absent-minded.
These are distant mories, it starts from her being angry, and then those feelings shifting to isolation.
As the golden hues of sunset paint the sky, I sat in the field making a flower garland. One my mother had taught before my father left. I kept glancing at her while I made that garland while she sat with her back to . The sun painted her with its colors while her eyes searched for soone who was never coming back.
his arms laden with wildflowers he picked in the adow. "Mom, look at this crown! I made it for you!" I announced, my voice filled with pride as I stood there with the wreath in my hands.
She didn’t respond to at first, "MOM!" But when I called her while standing right next to her, she jumped and looked at .
"Oh," She rely offered a distracted smile, "You made this?" Her mind was sowhere else but she still took the crown from .
"You put it on your head." I said while fiddling with my small thumbs but she looked away again.
"Okay," She whispered, her eyes traveling away to so distant land again. I watched her. She held the wreath with one hand loosely but never wore it, almost as if she forgot she even had it in her hands.
"Mom?" I called out to her, but she didn’t reply. My heart sank and I walked away.
Maybe I can talk to her later, maybe she’s thinking about sothing important.
I had taken a few steps away when I heard her stand up. The sun was going down now and everything was turning orange.
That was the mont I rembered how my father used to address her sotis.
"Ma~Ma," He would say, ’Hael’s ma~ma~’, but I skipped my na and just copied his way.
I don’t know what I said wrong. I rely tried to copy my father and I rember it used to make my mother laugh. She enjoyed it then, but when I said it, she turned her head to glare at .
I don’t know what she hated about it so much that she picked up a rock and threw it at .
The sharp thing hit my head, causing to fall backwards.
???
It didn’t make any sense to . Was what I did wrong? Was I not supposed to do it?
The skin on my head burned and I felt liquid pouring out of it.
???
I wiped my hand on the place that hurt and then brought my hand in front of my eyes
It was red,
I sat up as my mother shrieked, "Hael!!!" The red liquid ca dowards, trickling from my head down to my eye, forcing to close it, as it traveled to my cheek, down to my chin, then jumped off and tainted my clothes.
I was bleeding.
"Oh God!" She ca and skidded by my side, "I’m so sorry!!" She embraced , hugging tightly, "I don’t know why I did that, I’m so sorry!" She placed her hand on my head and used magic to heal the wound.
"On God, what is wrong with ?" She whispered and I raised my head to look at her
What is wrong with her? She seems so weird...
When she healed my wound she stood up, whispering to herself, "What is wrong with ? What am I doing?" She kept mumbling as she began to walk for the cottage, leaving behind.
I had to gather myself, wipe the blood from my eye so that I could see sothing even though it was bloody and then run after her in a panic. Sowhere inside of that evening, I felt like she was going to leave behind.
But good thing I was wrong
...
As ti passed, she grew distant. One of the vivid mories of that realization is when I was helping her out in the kitchen.
The kitchen was filled with the aroma of freshly burnt cookies as sunlight stread in through the window. I tugged at my mother’s apron while she absentmindedly stirred the cookie dough. "Mom, look what I made!"
It was nothing special, since she was baking, I thought I’d help her out and I kneaded so dough for her. But my mother was lost in thoughts. She didn’t even look at and nodded absentmindedly, "Hm,"
"Mom?" I stared at her, she looked strange, like so sort of hollow shell that kept staring out the window, her eyes distant and dark, as if she had lost all hope, "Mom?" I kept calling her out, yet she wouldn’t respond to , she just kept looking at the vast view from the window.
Every now and then, I would only get a nod, or a, "Hmm,"
I had no one else to talk to in that cottage but the only person I could talk to seed lost. After calling her several tis and getting no response, I simply put the dough I kneaded on the kitchen shelf, turned the oven off and walked away.
What did I even do in my spare ti? Mostly, I just read the books my father left behind, so I went and picked a book and read it in the corner of the room.
***
It was one of those rare days when I went out to take a dip in the river when I saw a family of black foxes. They had co to drink water, erging from the forest that was there in the far distance.
Seeing sothing new was exciting and it made rush out of the river in wet trousers and no shirt. I rushed inside, my face flushed with excitent.
"Mom, co see the foxes I found by the creek!" I exclaid as soon as I entered the house, "Mom,", My eyes were sparkling with enthusiasm as I ran around the place, "Mom?" But I wasn’t getting an answer.
I left the door open when I went in but when I couldn’t find my mom,
"Mom?" The reality of it ca back to , that it had been a while since my mother stopped talking to .
I walked around the house, eventually reaching my father’s study. The door was open just a crack and I peeked in. And there she was, sitting at the wooden table, a pen in hand, scribbling fervently in her letter. Lost in her musings, she didn’t even notice I had been calling her.
"Mom?" I called out to her once more, hoping that this close, she would hear . And I’m sure she did, she was an elf, her ears were bigger and stronger than mine.
She didn’t look up at , "There are so foxes at the river," I had only learned about these animals from the books left behind by my father, so seeing one in reality was amazing, "Do you want to show you?" I opened the door, letting it creak open.
...
"Mom?" I stared at her, the sound of scribbling was strong, "They’re really pretty," I felt nervous in her presence, enough that it made fiddle with my nails but she didn’t raise her head, making feel like I didn’t exist in her world anymore.
Why is she writing those letters again? No one ever replies to them.
I stared at her, her eyes were wide open
Disheartened, I turned away, and walked back to the door that I felt open. Maybe I could just play or watch the fox family by myself.
But when I reached the door and looked outside.
No one was there.
A feeling of emptiness washed over , but I had no idea how to deal with it. It was sad, it made my heart hurt, but I couldn’t exactly understand which part hurt more.
That I couldn’t see the fox family anymore, or that I couldn’t show them to my mother, or that my mother simply won’t acknowledge ,
Which thing was hurting so much that it made my chest tightened.
"I don’t like it," I whispered to myself as I rubbed my chest, "It feels weird," I coughed lightly, then cleared my throat. My body started to feel hot but I closed the door anyway.
I walked back to my room to read another book when my mind started to get dizzy.
I knew sothing was wrong with but what was wrong? I had no idea. The world swirled around in a dizzying haze, and every step felt like wading through molasses. My vision blurred too, so I shook my head and continued to walk. I reached my room and opened the door when with a feeble cry, I collapsed onto the worn wooden floor, my limbs felt heavy and my body felt like a wildfire was consuming from within.
"Mom," I shivered uncontrollably, my skin burning with a searing heat, "Mom!" I tried to call out to her.
I tried to stand up, "Mom, sothing is wrong," I tried to move out of my room to go to the study but before I could make it, my mind went blank.
I was still calling her when I drifted into unconsciousness.
"Mom...?"
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