>>Corvina
I died young twice and you know the saddest part both tis?
I neither had a lover, nor did I ever get to experience what it was like to make love.
No matter how much I tried to let go of my feelings for Hael
I was in fact so madly in love with him in my first life, that I can't seem to let him go in this life either.
I let out a sigh
Tomorrow I turn eighteen
Our relationship has gotten better. I know I can only hope for it, but I hope he doesn't hate anymore. I can't peek into his heart but I know he wouldn't help in the cellar if he hated . There would be no point in helping , if he intends to kill tomorrow. So, that thing aside, I know my feelings will never be returned but I don't wish for it either.
Our relationship is weird.
We were both in a toxic environnt and it corrupted both of us in different ways. My love for him might only have stemd from my obsession and the fact I only had him, but considering the fact I couldn't let him go even now must an my feelings weren't fake.
But still, I realize that this isn't right. And now I only wish for us to find happiness. Relationships should be ford with positive feelings and this place, this house and this environnt only offers dark ones.
I thought about this a lot when I was bedridden. I do wish to end our ill-fated relationship and I wish to move on regardless of what my heart feels.
I gulped
No, I bit my lower lip.
I do want to sleep with him
May it be just this once. I nodded to myself
I want to do it and then bid all of my feelings for him.
I hope when I go to live in a better place, maybe I'll fall for soone who will return my feelings.
I smiled.
I'll open a small cafe, where we can work together, form a family, and live the rest of our lives peacefully. I could hear the voices of children playing freely, the clattering of plates and the hearty chattering of people.
I let out a soft sigh of longing as I lay in my bed. The window was open and the bright rays of sunshine ca peering in along with a pleasant breeze.
It made the environnt of my room look warm and cozy.
"That would be nice,"
***
Everything is the sa.
It happened just like it did in the past.
I sat in the party hall, all dolled up. I do have a limp
But if I force myself, I can walk normally for a few seconds but then it starts to hurt after a minute. I've been able to fake it in front of the aristocratic society successfully so far.
I entered the hall with my Father and brother. It took a lot of effort to keep a straight face and keep myself from limping but it started to hurt a lot by the ti I made it to the end of the stairs.
I hurried up and made my way to the chairs and sat down next to the table, not bothering about manners at all. The nobles whispered when they saw that. I was the supposed star of the event after all, it was my duty to go and greet the elders before sitting down but to hell with that.
"Did you see that?"
"Gosh! She's as rude as the rumors say she is."
"I'm starting to think what Prince Lyal said might be true."
"Ignore her, she doesn't amount to much."
"Did she really sleep around with other n?"
"No one's marrying this one, so there's no point in having relations with her either."
"She's useless."
"The event is only hers in na, the Count only wanted an excuse to hold a business eting." People weren't this aware in my past life, but this ti, a lot of things were exposed.
Their words stung but I ignored them. I can't be bothered to keep up with these stupid traditions tonight. Not when I can't let people find out about my limp. I already have a worse than bad reputation, I don't want the term 'cripple' attached to as well.
The whole mansion is going to be dead around midnight.
Everyone's going to get drunk by eight and the mansion is going to be empty by nine.
The wine was made to make everyone pass out, not get drunk but I need to get drunk, so I can do the deed. And I need a lot of courage to be able to approach Hael like that.
Last ti, I couldn't find him.
But this ti I won't let him out of my sight. I already told him to co to once the party is in full bloom and he did agree to et outside the party hall but I don't know if he'll actually co.
After all, last ti, he was nowhere to be found.
Another person walked over to and sat down on the chair beside mine.
"Good evening Lady Corvina,"
I smiled, "Good evening, Lady Serena," I turned to look at her. Unlike last ti, I had no intention of sitting with my previous circle of friends. I was planning on sitting alone if I needed to before heading out around eight.
But Serena proved to be a better friend than most. While my Father had told everyone I was sick and that was the reason why I couldn't attend any etings, none of the girls from my so-called 'friend circle' ca to et .
Only Serena did.
"I got what you asked for." She passed small gift box
I smiled and took it, "Thank you," Now I knew there was noway Hael would make a mistake and leave out any drink that isn't spiked.
"You're welco." She smiled back.
I put the gift box on my lap and opened in a manner that no one would know what I took out of it. It was a silver bottle that's easy to hide.
"It's perfect." I took out a secret bottle of wine, and poured the liquid in the glass I took from the table, and drank from it. I asked Serena to get one for and this ti I actually didn't give her an excuse. I just told her to get sothing that would get drunk like crazy.
I took my ti finishing it while I conversed with Serena.
"Serena!" Soone called her and she stood up
"Father?"
I looked at the duke. He looked like he was about to pass out.
"Co here," The duke called her over and Serena hurried over, "I think we have to leave." She went and supported him.
"Are you alright?" She was concerned about her father but there was nothing to worry about. The drink is only going to make everyone pass out.
"I'm fine, I just feel so sleepy all of the sudden," His words were a cue to .
Serena was confused but the duke began to drag her away. She looked at , "Good night Lady Corvina?" She wasn't sure what was happening but I was glad that she was one of the first people leaving this wretched place.
Once she left I stood up to leave as well.
The sche had started and now it was ti to play my move.
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