>>Amber
A gentle breeze blew past , making close my eyes for a second.
The whole thing that happened just now made think about things again.
I find myself drawn to Hael again.
Why did my affection for him never die?
What I held for him was obsession, not love. Because if it was love, I wouldn’t have hurt him, would I?
...
The answers were complicated.
I wasn’t a normal person in my first life.
I let out a sigh with my mouth closed and opened my eyes to look at the stars above. Was it not rely an obsession?
I did fall for him at first sight... My love for him was quite innocent then. But because Hael wasn’t showing affection to I turned toxic and insecure pretty fast.
It can’t have been love.
I...I hurt him so much in my first life. I tortured him...
I didn’t do that this ti... But...
I recalled the first ti I saw him
I stood at the top of the grand staircase, my hand resting lightly on the polished banister. The sound of my father’s voice calling my na echoed through the hall below. I took a deep breath, trying to steady my nerves, and began my descent.
The soft rustle of my dress accompanied each step. The chandelier overhead cast a warm, golden glow, illuminating the intricate details of the marble and woodwork. I felt a mixture of anticipation and apprehension as I descended, the elegant surroundings doing little to calm my racing heart.
Even when I was a kid I wasn’t fond of my father, and when he would call for , there was always a part of that was afraid, especially when he yelled for .
But that day, as I reached the midpoint of the stairs, my eyes scanned the room below. There, standing near the base of the stairs, was a figure I hadn’t noticed before. His presence drew my gaze like a magnet, and in that mont, our eyes t.
He was beautiful. His hair was silver, shimring like starlight under the chandelier’s glow. His eyes were extraordinary, like they held the very essence of the moon within them. They were deep and luminous, capturing the light in a way that made them seem almost otherworldly, like twin moons reflecting the secrets of the night.
Ti seed to slow, each second stretching into an eternity as I continued my descent. The world around us faded into the background, the surroundings and distant murmur of voices dissolving into a blur as I kept my eyes on him.
With each step, my heart pounded louder, the rhythm echoing in my ears. My hand tightened on the banister, and I felt a strange, exhilarating sensation wash over . It was as if I were floating, each movent deliberate and dreamlike.
When I reached the bottom of the stairs, I couldn’t stop staring at him and I couldn’t stop my cheeks from blushing.
I fell for him the mont I saw him.
Did my love turn into sothing sinister?
...
That’s actually possible.
I let out a sigh.
I didn’t turn out like how I did in the past. And Hael grew closer to ... I wonder, if I hadn’t turned into that toxic person in my first life either, would Hael have loved back?
The reason he didn’t return my feelings was because he’s not good with emotions. I didn’t know that in the past. And I was a ga idiot too, I got tangled in the sches of others.
...
I understand why my feelings grew for him. It’s normal to like the only person who helps you. Although Hael never showed affection for , he always did the things I asked him to, and so I didn’t even ask him to... And tis like that just made like him even more.
Even after my life as a noble finished and I started living as Amber, when Hael showed himself again, I found my feelings reignited.
What is it that I’m so drawn to?
Perhaps the thing is, one does not simply forget the hard tis. And one definitely doesn’t forget their sole solace in it
For Hael was that.
For a pitch black night like myself. He was my full moon that shone.
I stared at the full moon in the sky. It’s majestic shine reflecting in my gaze.
After understanding Hael better, I know he was actually doing the best he could in the Cory Manor. He was just trying to survive while all of us were so cruel to him
And even though I left my past behind. It’s not like I can forget that. It’s part of .
And Hael is part of that story.
And in the end the truth that stands is that he was my first love. A love that maybe I’ll never forget.
I an, I already tried and failed.
So...
I looked down
What does that make ? Am I an idiot for still being like this? What am I going to do with these feelings?
Because I really don’t know what to do with Hael...
His way of doing things is twisted. But I honestly can’t even bla him for it, not after knowing his story. He gave power so that people won’t be able to ss with . That was his way of showing...
I paused
Hmmm
Showing what? Concern? Worry? Or affection?
What does he feel for ? Honestly, I can’t tell for sure.
And would we ever work out?
I an, it’s Hael.
There are plenty of tis when I don’t even know why he’s done sothing. His emotional radar is exceptionally small. He doesn’t understand the most basic of things and yet I can’t bla him for any of that
...
God damnit, his mother should have gone to a therapist!
God!!
I slumped back and lay on my back, looking at the dark sky
This is so complicated
I kept looking, staring at the majestic moon surrounded by stars.
Then I placed my right hand on my heart
Yet this stupid thing knows it wants him. I was very skeptical before I learned about his past
But ever since he told everything, things changed.
He does things, and he does them only for
Many of them were not wanted but still.
Deep down, I can’t lie that I want to give ’us’ a chance.
I bit my lower lip
But,
I wonder if Hael’s gonna hate now, knowing what I did to him in the past...
***
>>Hael
She would give anything to go back?
I slamd the book on the table, the sharp sound reverberating through the quiet room. The pages fluttered wildly before settling. My jaw clenched as I flipped through the pages, eyes scanning the words without really seeing them.
My mind was consud by her words.
Annoyance surged through , quickly morphing into sothing darker. She’ll leave ? The thought gnawed at , a bitter, unwelco notion. I felt a tightening in my chest, a possessive knot that refused to loosen.
I paused, staring blankly at the book. This was the Tower Master’s book. Sothing that can only be accessed by the Tower Master as well, it has the records of all the previous Masters. It’s filled with things they discovered. I’ve already read it all, I don’t even know why I’m flipping through pages again.
But I’m anxious to find those words again.
Her face flashed in my mind—the determined set of her jaw, the sadness in her eyes as she said those words;
’I would give everything to go back to it.’
It was as if she had already resigned herself to the possibility, and that infuriated .
Leave here? Leave ?
The page that I was looking for opened and I stared at the title
’Transmigrators’
No. I’ll never let her leave. A cold resolve settled over , hardening my features. She can’t leave. She couldn’t. She belonged with , whether she realized it or not. I would make sure of it.
I smirked as my eyes scanned what was written in the book.
Good thing there is no other way back to her ’beloved world’ but one. And she doesn’t need to know that. No one does. No one can access these records but anyway.
She’ll stay by my side.
Living another life and coming back in ti... It explains how her personality changed overnight.
If it hadn’t changed...
I paused
It didn’t originally change, so I ca to hate her as well? And then I killed her?
So what?
I don’t really care about that. I don’t care what she did to from a ti that I don’t even rember
So what if she tortured in that tiline? She kept using the stone on ? Had locked up? Had beaten up?
I don’t care. She rembers it, not , which actually works in my favor. She feels sorry for what she did so she’ll never be able to hate .
My smile widened.
That’s right. That must also be why she hasn’t resisted whatever I did for her.
I traced my fingers on the words written on the page.
’A transmigrator’s only way back is death’
I smiled at the words. I won’t let her die, she has to spend her life with . I tapped my fingers on the page.
But that aside, ti rewinded for her? Why? It can not happen without a reason. That is the sort of magic that no normal person can conjure.
I flipped through the pages for answers. I read about it in here too.
For ti to rewind, so major incident has to happen.
Soone did sothing.
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