58 The Flashback – Harsh Words
Soon he started working on his book. He turned one side of my bedroom wall into his research wall. The whole wall was covered with sticky notes stating the description of the characters, their relations, the outline of the book and many more facts and trivia.
He asked for my help, and I helped him with refining his outline and polishing his characters. We would spend a lot of ti brainstorming over his book. He was happy and excited about his new project, and I was happy to see him happy. I was happy to see him passionate about sothing.
Then that passion changed into obsession. He would spend hours at a stretch researching random facts that had nothing to do with his book. If I would point it out, he would get defensive and justify that every research makes him add sothing new to his book.
He even started taking his job for granted. He would skip days to work on his book but would not write a single word. He would keep staring at a blank page. When asked about it he would say he is still thinking about a killer opening. Being the expert in one line as I worked in an advertisent agency, I threw a few lines his way, but he rejected all of them.
What bothered was he would get angry whenever I would suggest anything. He would taunt about my age and wisdom.
“You are elder than that does not an you are more intelligent. I too work in dia, I know how to write. Yes, you have read more books than which does not make you an expert in books. Let do my thing on my own. I don’t need your help,” he would shout at . Slowly his words beca harsher.
I thought it was just the fear of failure or writer’s block that every writer faces. I tried to be supportive and calm, but he would snap at at random. The only ti he would smile and talk nicely to would be when we would make love. This kept happening for another month.
Then ca the grand festival of Diwali. We had been dating and living together for months without any of our parents knowing about it. Still, he had not written a single word. So, he decided to get a fresh perspective. He took so leave and decided to visit his parents who lived in the state of Rajasthan. He would be gone for a week. I went to the airport to drop him off.
With tears in my eyes, I said goodbye to him and told him that I would miss him trendously. He assured that he would miss more. After hugging and kissing him, I wished him a safe flight and ca back ho.
.....
My parents too kept asking to spend the holidays at ho, so I packed my bags and went to stay with them. My sister ca running to greet as she was seeing after months. We used to fight with each other but loved each other with all our hearts. The mont I reached she hugged and the next thing she did was search my bags to steal things out of them.
I smiled at her cuteness and naughtiness but could not stop thinking about Vik. After almost two hours I left him a ssage asking whether his flight landed. But there was no answer. There was no answer for two days.
My family would ask what the matter was and why my face looked stressed and sad. I lied that I had so big assignnt coming up at the office and that is stressing out. They didn’t think much about it, just gave the motivation to work happily at my office and were done.
But Apeksha, my sister, she knew sothing was up. She kept nagging and nagging. We were sharing the room and she would keep asking about the matter the whole night and day. One night she caught crying on my pillow as it was the third day when Vik never replied or sent a ssage. I kept sending him multiple ssages every day but never saw a reply.
He said before going that he would miss , but it was clear that he was not missing at all. I didn’t know whether he landed safely, whether he reached his ho safely, whether he was alive or dead. My heart never slowed down. At this rate, it was clear that I would get a heart attack.
“Di!” Apeksha softly placed her hands over my hair and caressed it. But I just kept sobbing. “Please tell what the matter is. Who hurt you?”
I broke down, NK. I could not hold it any longer. I hugged my sister and told her everything. Everything about and Vik.
“He is safe, Di. Don’t worry. You know how families are. He must not have any privacy there. The mont he gets ti, he will ssage you. Or his phone was broken, and he could not ssage you. There are many reasons, just give him the benefit of doubt. You love him, he must be a nice person,” Apeksha comforted .
The next night my phone chid at midnight. It was a ssage from Vik. I jumped squealing on my bed. Apeksha was sleeping so I shut myself up.
“Hi! Sorry for not contacting you soon. My family is crazy. The mont I landed they took on a blind date. Every day since I have been going on blind dates and have been surrounded by my family. Finally, today I am hiding on my roof and ssaging you. Sorry, Ritz. Love you,” he ssaged .
My heart stopped. His family is looking for girls for him to marry and he is going on blind dates. Why didn’t he tell anyone about ? I knew the answer because we never discussed it. Should we tell our families? Even I have not told them about him then how could I expect him to tell his family about ?
But still, my heart ached after hearing that he was eting with different girls. The excitent I had after receiving his ssage, all died down after reading it. With a loud sigh, I lay back down, and tears started streaming down my face.
My phone chid again and I read the ssage. My mouth fell open as he asked what I was wearing. ssage after ssage he started saying absurd things. The ssages were highly erotic. First, I thought that he lost his phone, and soone was using his phone to do fraud.
I imdiately called him, but he disconnected the call. He ssaged that he cannot talk to and can only ssage . I send him a harsh ssage asking him to show his face or else I would report the whole chat to the police.
He imdiately called . To my surprise, he was drunk and hiding on his roof behind a wall and talking in whispers. I was shocked to know that he drank. He had never ever drunk before. “Sorry was missing you, that’s why sent those ssages,” he smiled.
“Sober up, we will talk tomorrow,” I snapped at him and disconnected the call.
That was the first ti I realised that sothing was wrong with our relationship. He missed and the first thing he thought about was having text sex with . Was I in his life only to give him sexual pleasure?
But then I scolded myself and asked myself not to think negatively. He was drunk and had no idea what he was doing. My excuse was that he acted this way because he was drunk.
And as per my belief, he called the next day and apologised for his behaviour and not calling for three days. Everything was back to the way it was before. I forgave him. Now every night he would send a goodnight ssage and sotis give a call if no one would be around him.
The holidays were over, and I ca back to my apartnt. I could freely talk to him there. But he still had restrictions. The week was almost over, and he would co back and then we would talk and kiss and enjoy ourselves with each other.
To my surprise, he extended his trip for another week. When I asked about his office and his boss, he again got defensive and snapped at . He said, “I want the setting of my book to be in Rajasthan and I am researching for it and all you could think is about your needs. What? Can’t you live alone for another week? I should co and do all your household chores for you and stop writing my book, is that what you want?”
“Where and when did I ntion my needs or chores? I never asked you to do chores at my house. I never asked for your help,” I replied.
“Wow! So, I am a monster if don’t help you and I am a monster even if I help you. Can you ever be happy, Ritz? Just tell what you want. You want to co back, I will co back right now, is that what you want,” he snapped at .
I was taken aback. What was he talking about? Why was he talking in such a manner to ? “I never asked you to co back. I just wanted to know if your boss is okay with you extending your trip, that’s all. You brought my needs, whatever that is and all the talk about doing chores in our conversation,” I said calmly.
“I can’t even...” and he disconnected the call. We didn’t talk for two days after that. None of us even tried to call one another.
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