Chapter 3: Piss
Grey went in the sa direction he had gone in before. Pulling on his collar, he ripped at a small tear left by the chanical arms and managed to yank the looping fur-line from around his neck.
He wrapped one end of the loop around his fist and mirrored it with the other end before reaching the end of a forked hallway and imdiately turning left.
The chittering of a small goblin reached Grey’s ears, but he was already upon it before it could turn around to face him. He wrapped the fluorescent pink fur collar around the goblin’s neck and slamd a foot into its back in one fluid movent.
The goblin was driven into the ground as Grey’s biceps flexed. Veins popped along his forearms and jaw until a sick cracking sound echoed out.
Unwrapping his "weapon" from the goblin’s neck, he kept it away from his nose, wanting nothing to do with the new juices that coated it now. He took a glance at the small wooden spear the goblin was holding and shook his head.
Last ti, he had taken it. That thing lasted one battle.
Not only was the workmanship so shoddy that a single attack at the wrong angle had snapped it in two, but the blade wasn’t even all that sharp, and its length was so short it was more of a short spear than a real one.
He was better off picking up a heavy rock and slamming it into his next enemy’s skull than trying to use that spear. But the goblin village that was nearby might be helpful.
If Grey rembered correctly, this series of tunnels forked a few tis. There were probably three groups of enemies between here and there.
In the distance from here, he could see a shimring door not too far away. Last ti, he had gone to it, only to find that it was a safe room he couldn’t enter.
The other direction was the direction of the goblin village. It had taken him the entirety of the first three hours to clear that village despite it only having a dozen and a half or so of these weak little creatures.
It was right after that he found the corpse of the young woman, and that was what led to the chaos that unfolded after.
Hesitating for a mont, Grey chose to go toward the safe room one more ti. Who knew, maybe he would get lucky and sothing had changed.
It wasn’t long before he stood in front of a steel-frad door. It didn’t have a handle or any obvious way to open it up. But when Grey entered its proximity, a fluttering holographic signboard that read: "SAFE ROOM" appeared above it.
Grey reached forward, pushing at the door, but nothing budged or shook. It was the sa as last ti. The safe door didn’t react to him at all.
When he got here the first ti, he naively thought he needed to reach so sort of threshold first. He had put everything into clearing the goblin village, hoping that would be the achievent he needed...
The end result was as one might imagine.
Grey took a step back and exhaled. "Alright."
There was too much he didn’t know.
Why had he gone back in ti? Was it because of a chanism of this show? In that case, was he screwed no matter what? Or was it sothing else?
He hadn’t run into any special items on his first run; he had practically been barehanded the whole ti. The fact he survived so long was already a miracle.
But that ant it was all the more likely that this was a part of the show. Did these aliens have ti machine technology? If that was the case, how could one even expect to fight back against these people?
Grey clenched his fists.
Fighting back and the unfairness of it all had driven him during his first go. But what good was his emotion when it had ended with a knife in his gut anyway? What good was fighting back when his enemies had godlike powers?
"Sotis you’ve gotta piss on your own grave, right, Gramps?"
Grey muttered the words to himself. It was his granddad’s favorite saying. If the old man had been dragged into the sa ss, Grey was sure he’d go out with his middle fingers to the sky.
With a reach down, Grey pulled his boxers’ leg to the side and whipped it out. Tilting his head back, he sighed and released a long, satisfying stream right onto the safe door.
He wasn’t much of a talker. Who gave a damn about taphors?
For all he knew, this was going to be the best "fuck you" he got, so he was taking it.
—
[Warning. Obscene gesture detected]
[This is your first warning. On the second, penalties will be applied]
—
Grey laughed, and then laughed so more.
"Go fuck yourselves."
He wiggled his mber about until he was nice and dry, slipped it back in, and then patted it for good asure. He held up his middle fingers to the empty air even as the sound of movent from a distance caught his attention.
Grey turned his head to find a duo of goblins rushing him, their pockmarked tongues hanging from their mouths as they dashed low to the ground. One of them held a bone dagger in their hand, the other held a spear.
He turned to face them, the stench of his piss sohow still far better than whatever foul fus these little bastards were giving off.
Grey grinned. "Co on then, you little shits."
He shot forward, his fur-lined collar already tightly wound over his fists.
The distance closed fast, and just as they were about to clash, Grey leapt up, clearing them both in a single go.
He dashed around the corner he had just co from, coming to a stop and waiting just two breaths before they raced around the corner toward him.
He punted one right in the head, the force so hard its skull splattered against the opposite wall.
The latter was forced to slow by its companion, and that was just enough for Grey to get his fur-lined collar around its neck.
He tightened it, veins writhing beneath the back of his hands as he swung with all his might.
The goblin slamd against the jagged point of a wall, its body crumbling like a bag of bones.
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