In fact, Uncle Li didn’t say much, but I understood the aning behind his words. If I still insist on not divorcing Qinghan, my entire life would be ruined.
After thinking for a day and a night, eventually, I gritted my teeth and confronted Qinghan. Initially, I was reluctant, but after a conversation with Qinghan, my resolve to divorce beca firr. Divorce now is just temporary pain; if I don’t divorce, I would suffer for a lifeti.
Qinghan was unwilling to divorce, but my mind was made up and could not be changed. The divorce process went smoothly, as my father-in-law has always been a reasonable person and did not make things difficult.
After the divorce from Qinghan, I planned to send Wanting to the An Mansion, so she could stay by my sister’s side, which would sound better for her reputation. It would help Wanting make a good match in the future. However, my sister refused, saying she was too busy to help educate Wanting. I know, after all that has happened, my sister and I can never return to the past. Fortunately, even though my sister didn’t agree to teach Wanting, she found a well-respected nurturing nanny for her.
After the divorce, my superiors, colleagues, and even subordinates were all very enthusiastic about matchmaking for . However, I no longer have the passion I had ten years ago. It doesn’t matter who I marry now, as long as she can live peacefully with .
Regarding marriage, in the end I asked my sister to help find a suitable person. Not for any other reason, but because of her precise judgnt. Finally, she found a girl from the Li family.
Indeed, Seventh Lady Li turned out to be a very virtuous woman, managing the Inner Courtyard with utmost efficiency and maintaining good relations with friends and relatives. Everyone around speaks highly of her, and my sister is exceptionally satisfied with her. Yet I am not satisfied with her because I cannot see that passionate expression in her eyes.
I know I should not expect her to love like Qinghan did, just as I cannot love her the way I loved Qinghan. But I am still sowhat disappointed, always feeling an emptiness inside, as if sothing is missing.
A year after marrying Li from the Li family, my second daughter was born. As she closely resembles , I nad her Pingting, implying she will grow up to be a great beauty.
Although my little daughter looks very much like , she still cannot fill the void in my heart. Around this ti, I t Yanyan. Yanyan bears no resemblance to Qinghan, yet I see Qinghan’s shadow in her.
Li, from the Li family, did not object to taking Yanyan as a concubine. She only made one request: until she gives birth to a legitimate child, Yanyan must not bear offspring. Understanding the importance of a legitimate child, I readily agreed at that ti.
Deep down inside, I felt so disappointnt. I could not quite understand why. I rember when Qinghan found out I took Lady Yue as a concubine, she argued fiercely with , and I was furious. Now Li is so virtuous and yet, I am still angry. This proves Li doesn’t truly care for , otherwise how could she remain indifferent to my taking a concubine?
Unfortunately, Li’s second child turned out to be another daughter, and just at that ti, Yanyan unexpectedly beca pregnant. Yanyan was very afraid of Li, pleading with to hide it from her.
I did not keep it a secret, and directly told Li about it; moreover, I suggested to Li that if this child was a son, we should raise him by her side.
Li outright rejected this proposal, saying, "Let Maternal Aunt Qiao raise the child, be it a son or a daughter!"
Only then did I realize that Qinghan could accept my proposal so calmly back then because she was frail and prone to difficulties with getting pregnant, unlike Li.
Qinghan, every ti I think of Qinghan, I feel a stabbing pain in my chest. I don’t regret divorcing Qinghan because if we hadn’t divorced, we would still be constantly arguing. However, post-divorce, those beautiful mories linger in my mind, refusing to fade away. Whenever this happens, I visit Yanyan. Yet seeing Yanyan, the regret and pain only deepen. Still, I lack the courage to seek information about Qinghan.
At this ti, the Emperor passed away, and the Crown Prince ascended as The New Emperor.
Having once saved The New Emperor, he trusts greatly and appointed as the head of the Infantry Camp. For this, I devoted all my energy to my career.
A few months later, Yanyan gave birth to a son, and Li truly held to her word, never raising the child by her side.
I nad my son Qingqing, which implies bearing burdens, as I hope this child can shoulder the responsibilities of the second branch soday. Yet my sister disagreed, and during Qingqing’s third-day celebration, she was absent. At that mont, I understood that my sister doesn’t like Qingqing.
At that ti, my heart was particularly complicated. My sister doesn’t like Qinghan, perhaps because the impression Qinghan gave her was poor when they t, but Qingqing is just a newborn child, and still my only son now, why doesn’t she like him?
This question, I didn’t ask anyone, because I knew, if I asked others, they would certainly say my sister doesn’t like Qingqing, because he is a concubine-born child. I cannot comprehend, I am also a child born out of wedlock, should those born out of wedlock always be inferior?
The day before Qingqing’s full month celebration, Li beca pregnant again. Although I am fond of Qingqing, I know, others, including my sister, actually all hope that this pregnancy of Li’s is a boy, for if Li gives birth to a son, he will be my Legitimate Child, and his status would be completely different. However, I didn’t have much feeling about it; concubine-born or legitimate, they are all my children, and I treat them equally.
Nine months later, Li gave birth to a son. This child was not nad by , but by my sister, who called him Jing, implying the hope that he would grow up to be a heroic man. I cannot deny, my sister’s nas are always pleasant-sounding, at least, I think her nas sound better than mine.
Since I married Li, my sister no longer managed any affairs of my mansion. According to my sister, the Lian Mansion, inside and out, has been managed expertly by Li, giving her peace of mind. However, and I don’t know why, I just cannot co to like Li, even after she bore three children, I still don’t like her, nor do I even like the three children she bore. Out of five children, my favorite is Wanting, followed by Qingqing.
I know it’s wrong to feel this way, but I just can’t control myself. Yet Li seemingly remains unaware of my feelings, treating with the care and concern reminiscent of when we were newly married. I am indeed guilty towards Li, and I want to be good to her, but every ti I see Yanyan or Wanting, I can’t help but think of Qinghan. Imagining Qinghan living poorly now, my heart aches as if pierced by a knife.
My official rank grew, but my heart felt emptier. Yes, I brought glory to the second branch, yet I can never recover the joy of those past years.
Just before my forty-fifth birthday, when my children were all married and I was already a grandfather, I received the news that Qinghan had passed away, succumbing to depression in the end.
Upon hearing this, I was dumbfounded.
Afterwards, I exerted great effort to find Qinghan’s grave. She wasn’t buried in Zhao Family’s ancestral tomb, but rather in a picturesque place.
I stood quietly in front of her grave, and in a daze, it was as if I saw Qinghan holding a purple oiled paper umbrella, walking towards with a smile.
Reviews
All reviews (0)