I shouldn’t have cried.
I let my emotions get the better of and ended up crying in front of Ione.
That must have shocked her deeply, because ever since that mont, she hadn’t left my side.
It was suffocating.
No—
Trying to follow to the bathroom was too much, wasn’t it?!
But what could I do?
I couldn’t exactly push away the future Saintess of the White Order and the daughter of the reigning Emperor just because I found it inconvenient.
I had no choice in the matter.
So, I spent my days with Ione, teaching her basic knowledge while she clung to .
The so-called emotional stabilization process was nothing more than a continuation of what I had already been doing at the Secluded Palace.
Playing with her, reading her books, staying with her while she slept, sharing als—
“Together! Together!!”
Refusing her demands to bathe together.
“Together! Together!!”
Refusing her attempts to sleep in the sa bed.
“Marriage! Marriage!”
And rejecting her relentless marriage proposals every ti she brought it up.
Whenever I refused, she would sulk and glare at , but the mont I stroked her head, her expression would instantly soften, and she’d start giggling again.
I taught her how to hold a fork and knife, how to interact with people, how to speak properly.
For things that were difficult for a man to teach—like bathing and personal hygiene—I had the female priests of the White Order handle them.
While spending ti with Ione, I also focused on preparing for my escape.
With the Emperor’s gift of ten kilograms of gold bars, my ergency funds were secured.
Once the unicorn-horn pendant was complete, I’d be able to supplent my ntal energy for ti-stopping magic.
Now, the only thing left was figuring out how to evade the Miracle of Pursuit.
“Evading the Miracle of Pursuit, you say?”
Ione was always surrounded by combat priests and holy knights from the White Order.
And since she clung to at all tis, that ant I always had White Order priests nearby as well.
Since their Order specialized in dealing with worshippers of the Evil God and demon cultists, I figured they might have so knowledge on the matter.
So one day, I casually asked.
“The Miracle of Pursuit is inscribed directly onto the soul, making it impossible to avoid unless you use extrely powerful curses or black magic.”
“…Is that so?”
Shit.
Did that an there was no way to avoid it?
“Yes. However, for all its power, it has significant drawbacks. It consus an enormous amount of divine energy and is highly dependent on distance. Normally, anything farther than a kiloter away cannot be detected. Furthermore, in order to mark a soul, the caster must have seen the target with their own eyes.”
Thank God.
I wasn’t completely screwed after all!
“I didn’t realize it had those limitations.”
“If it were omnipotent, every single worshipper of the Evil God and demon cultist in the world would have been captured long ago. Because of the requirents of direct sight and distance restrictions, our combat priests and holy knights periodically patrol rural areas beyond the reach of state or church authority, as well as cri-ridden districts where malevolent energy is abundant, in order to track down previously sighted heretics.”
“You have my respect for your hard work.”
“It’s nothing compared to what you’ve done, Saint.”
A one-kiloter distance restriction.
And the fact that priests and holy knights only patrolled certain rural and cri-infested areas on a regular basis.
That ant I had to take those two factors into account when making my escape.
Which, in turn, ant—
I had to flee to a major city.
Not the countryside, not a cri-ridden slum—
A city with strict law enforcent, a massive population, and a sheer size so overwhelming that even multiple priests casting the Miracle of Pursuit simultaneously wouldn’t be able to find easily.
And most importantly—
A city traditionally hostile to religion, where holy knights and priests wouldn’t dare to tread lightly.
I needed to pick a place that fit those criteria, rent a small house, change my appearance, and live as quietly as a mouse.
Let’s see…
A few nas ca to mind.
Which one should I choose?
As I was contemplating my options—
“Saint, Lady Erfa has co to see you.”
Erfa was here.
She used to visit every day.
The fact that she hadn’t co for the past few days was more unusual than the fact that she was here now.
“I’d like to speak with her privately. Would you all step outside?”
At my request, the White Order’s guards and Imperial knights stationed around Ione cautiously left the room.
Then, without much thought, I invited Erfa inside.
She entered my room as usual and turned to with a—
…Wait.
She didn’t smile.
“Like! Like!!”
Ione, as always, clung to my side.
But Erfa neither greeted warmly nor blushed like she usually did.
She simply stared at Ione with a cold, unreadable expression.
“Welco, Erfa.”
I greeted her, but she remained silent.
Her eyes stayed locked onto Ione.
“I greet Your Highness, the Princess.”
Erfa’s tone was polite—
But there was a clear distance in it, as if she were drawing a line.
Then, she finally turned her gaze toward .
“…You’re treating the princess, I assu?”
Her voice was quiet, subdued.
I nodded.
“I’m assisting with her emotional stabilization. Once she’s settled, they’ll perform the procedure to restore her mind.”
“I see.”
Noticing Erfa’s stare, Ione turned her eyes toward her as well.
Their gazes clashed in midair.
It felt like sparks were flying.
This…
This was jealousy.
“Hiss…”
Perhaps sensing sothing in Erfa’s blank expression, Ione bared her teeth and let out a low growl.
I quickly stroked Ione’s head to calm her down and stepped toward Erfa.
Ione’s expression turned confused as I deliberately left her side.
But I couldn’t help it.
I had known Erfa far longer than I had known Ione.
“The treatnt will be finished by tomorrow. After that, the princess will return to the palace. Until then, she’s only staying by my side for dical reasons.”
At my words, Erfa’s frozen expression softened slightly.
Cautiously, she stepped closer.
“…I want to stay with you too.”
“…What?”
“I want to be by your side.”
Ione let out another hiss.
I quickly stroked her head again.
At the sa ti, I took Erfa’s hand and led her to sit beside on the bed.
It was obvious that she was jealous—
Because she leaned her head against my shoulder in an unmistakable display of possessiveness.
Thanks to her four arms, she was able to hold my hand while wrapping another arm around my waist and keeping a firm grip on my arm.
Ione’s hissing reached its peak.
She even raised her nails, preparing to swipe at Erfa’s hands, but I caught her attack just in ti.
I was disappearing soon.
I had to leave the Order, abandon this fake saint act, and live quietly, unnoticed.
But before that, I had to create as many happy mories as possible for Erfa.
I owed her that much.
Yet, Ione, who had no idea about my circumstances, widened her eyes and stared at with sothing close to betrayal.
Give a break, Princess.
Once I disappear, Erfa will have to live without for the rest of her life.
I need to make sure she’s as happy as possible before I go.
“You once told to love myself more than I love you, didn’t you?”
“Yes, I did.”
“When you were fighting against the Evil God’s Fragnt, I rembered that. That’s why I didn’t rush to save you. I believed in you. I knew you’d co back to safely.”
Erfa fidgeted with her fingers.
Then, she pressed herself even closer to .
A pleasant fragrance filled the air.
“I’m glad I listened to you. Just as I believed, you returned to .”
I’m sorry.
The truth is, I shouldn’t have co back at all.
Now that I think about it, it really was strange.
That was the Evil God’s Fragnt.
Not just so ordinary fragnt—but the Evil God’s Fragnt.
And yet, when it entered my body, it suddenly scread…
Even during my studies in the White Order, I had never heard of such a thing.
Countless heroes, saints, and saintesses had suffered and died after coming into contact with the Fragnt. So even went mad and fell into corruption.
But I had never read about anyone who absorbed it, only for it to die inside them.
What the hell had happened?
I wanted to ask the scholars of the Order, but I couldn’t.
No doubt they’d start worshiping even more.
Right now, the best thing I could do was let their attention on cool down.
Just thinking about it pissed off, so I stopped.
“I don’t doubt anymore. Even if you leave for a while, I know now—you’ll always co back to .”
Erfa smiled happily.
That only made feel worse.
She had four arms, but that wasn’t a problem.
She was a woman who adored , cherished —and yet, in just a short while, I’d have to disappear from her life.
It wasn’t fair.
I didn’t just want to hold hands.
I didn’t just want to kiss.
I wanted more.
So much more.
I wanted everything with her.
But I couldn’t.
If I crossed that line, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to suppress my feelings anymore.
Damn it.
Let’s be honest—I liked Erfa.
How could I not?
She visited every day, blushing at the sight of , looking at with those lovesick eyes.
Wasn’t it normal for to feel this way?
I had already envisioned an entire life with her, a future where we got married and even had grandchildren.
But for her sake, I had to leave.
Lilia, you goddess of misfortune—
I hate you.
Why?
Why are you doing this to ?
Why?
“I’m nothing more than a staff. A tool you can use for stability and discard when the ti cos.”
I stroked Erfa’s head the sa way I did with Ione.
“Don’t cling to . Be happy when we’re together, but even if I disappear, live for yourself. Be strong. Be brilliant. Understood?”
Erfa nodded.
Then, she grabbed my face and pulled toward her.
A kiss.
Soft.
Shy.
A kiss full of warmth.
Yet along with happiness, sorrow surged inside .
It hurt.
It hurt so much.
Why?
Why, when we both loved each other, were we not allowed to be together?
I had to stop at just a kiss.
If we went further…
Leaving her would beco unbearable.
The kiss stretched on.
I could feel Ione frozen in shock, watching us.
After about thirty seconds, Erfa slowly pulled away, her expression lting with affection.
“…Saint.”
“…Erfa.”
“Um… so… that…”
She fumbled with sothing in her pocket, looking hesitant.
What was that?
…Did she have a condom in there or sothing?
Wait, do they even have condoms in this era?
If not for the goddess breathing down my neck, I would have been the one asking her first.
But right now, I had to draw the line.
I clenched my fists.
If I went any further—
I might not be able to stop myself.
I wasn’t so eunuch, okay?
I was perfectly healthy. Everything was in perfect working order.
(And yes, the prologue had been revised—so now, there was a scene where I tested all my skills on my own body right after getting them.)
And yet, here I was, forced to act like so damn monk.
“…I’m sorry, but you should go ho now, Erfa.”
“What? B-But…”
“Princess Ione’s treatnt isn’t finished yet.”
Erfa looked visibly hurt.
It felt like my heart was being torn apart.
I’m not impotent.
I want this.
But I can’t.
If I give in, you will suffer because of .
And I don’t want that.
You’ve been through too much. You deserve to be happy.
Right now, pushing you away is the only right choice.
Erfa lowered her head, looking ashad and disappointed.
Then, without another word, she turned and left.
The mont she walked out, guilt and sorrow weighed heavily on .
But before I had ti to wallow in those feelings—
Ione grabbed my head.
When I turned to her, her face was filled with fury.
“Kiss.”
Her tone was firm.
Like a demand.
“I want. Kiss.”
She pulled at my head, trying to bring toward her.
I quickly stopped her.
“Ione, don’t.”
“Kiss!! too!!”
For the first ti, she shouted.
She was practically trying to pounce on , forcing to push her away.
“You—Y-You’re still sick! Your mind isn’t healed! If you’re not well, you can’t do this!!”
My desperate words made her freeze.
“…If not sick?”
Her eyes were serious.
“If not sick!! Then kiss?”
I forced a stiff smile.
Fine.
I’ll kiss you on the forehead, Ione.
Just that.
“Alright. I promise.”
“Promise.”
She huffed.
“Promise.”
Once she was fully healed, she would go back to the palace.
She would live as an Imperial Princess.
As the Saintess of the White Order.
And I would be long gone, never to be seen again.
So, before I left—
I could at least give her a kiss on the forehead as a farewell.
That was all.
And you too, Ione—
You have to live without .
I will leave the church, stop being a fake saint, and live quietly like a mouse.
But before that, I must create as many good mories as possible for Erfa.
I owe her that much.
Yet Ione, who knew nothing about my plans, only widened her eyes and looked at with resentnt.
Give a break, Your Highness.
Soon, I will disappear, and Erfa will have to live without forever.
I need to make her as happy as possible before I go.
"You once told that I should love myself more than I love you, right?"
"Yes, I said that."
"When you were fighting the Evil God's Fragnt, I rembered those words. That’s why I didn’t rush to save you. I believed in you. I knew you would return to safe and sound."
Erfa fidgeted with her fingers.
Then she pressed even closer to .
A pleasant fragrance drifted toward .
"I'm glad I listened to you. Just as I believed—you ca back to ."
I'm sorry.
But the truth is, I wasn’t supposed to return at all.
The more I think about it, the stranger it seems.
That was the Evil God's Fragnt.
Not just any ordinary fragnt—the Evil God's Fragnt.
And yet, when it entered my body, it suddenly started screaming…
Even in all my studies at the White Order, I had never heard of such a thing.
Every hero, saint, and saintess who had co into contact with it had suffered, died in agony, or gone mad and fallen into corruption.
But I had never read about anyone who absorbed it only for it to suddenly die inside them.
What was the real reason behind this?
I wanted to ask the scholars of the Order, but I couldn’t.
If I did, they would only worship even more.
Right now, the best thing I could do was let their attention on fade.
Just thinking about it made angry, so I decided to stop.
"I don’t doubt anymore. Even if you leave for a while, I know now—you will always co back to ."
Erfa smiled happily.
That only made feel worse.
She had four arms, but that didn’t matter.
She was a woman who cherished , adored —and yet, in just a short while, I would disappear from her life.
It wasn’t fair.
I didn’t just want to hold hands.
I didn’t just want to kiss.
I wanted more.
So much more.
I wanted everything with her.
But I couldn’t.
If I crossed that line, I might not be able to control myself anymore.
Damn it.
Let’s be honest—I liked Erfa.
How could I not?
She ca to see every day, her face flushing whenever she looked at , her eyes filled with longing.
Wouldn’t it be strange if I didn’t feel this way?
I had already envisioned an entire life with her, a future where we got married and even had grandchildren.
But for her sake, I had to leave.
Lilia, you damn goddess—
I hate you.
Why?
Why are you doing this to ?
Why?
"I am nothing more than a staff. A tool for your stability, to be used for a mont and then discarded."
I stroked Erfa’s head the sa way I did with Ione.
"Don’t cling to . Be happy when we are together, but even if I disappear, live for yourself. Be strong. Be brilliant. Do you understand?"
Erfa nodded.
Then, she grabbed my face and pulled toward her.
A kiss.
Soft.
Shy.
A kiss full of warmth.
Yet along with happiness, sorrow surged inside .
It hurt.
It hurt so much.
Why?
Why, when we both loved each other, were we not allowed to be together?
I had to stop at just a kiss.
If we went further…
Leaving her would beco unbearable.
The kiss lasted long.
I could feel Ione frozen in shock, watching us.
After about thirty seconds, Erfa slowly pulled away, her expression lting with affection.
"Saint…"
"…Erfa."
"Um… so… that…"
She fumbled with sothing in her pocket, looking hesitant.
What was that?
…Did she have a condom in there or sothing?
Wait, do they even have condoms in this era?
If not for the goddess breathing down my neck, I would have been the one asking her first.
But right now, I had to draw the line.
I clenched my fists.
If I went any further—
I might not be able to stop myself.
I wasn’t so eunuch, okay?
I was perfectly healthy. Everything was in perfect working order.
(And yes, the prologue had been revised—so now, there was a scene where I tested all my skills on my own body right after getting them.)
And yet, here I was, forced to act like so damn monk.
"…I’m sorry, but you should go ho now, Erfa."
"What? B-But…"
"Princess Ione’s treatnt isn’t finished yet."
Erfa looked visibly hurt.
It felt like my heart was being torn apart.
I’m not impotent.
I want this.
But I can’t.
If I give in, you will suffer because of .
And I don’t want that.
You’ve been through too much. You deserve to be happy.
Right now, pushing you away is the only right choice.
Erfa lowered her head, looking ashad and disappointed.
Then, without another word, she turned and left.
The mont she walked out, guilt and sorrow weighed heavily on .
But before I had ti to wallow in those feelings—
Ione grabbed my head.
When I turned to her, her face was filled with fury.
"Kiss."
Her tone was firm.
Like a demand.
"I want. Kiss."
She pulled at my head, trying to bring toward her.
I quickly stopped her.
"Ione, don’t."
"Kiss!! too!!"
For the first ti, she shouted.
She was practically trying to pounce on , forcing to push her away.
"You—Y-You’re still sick! Your mind isn’t healed! If you’re not well, you can’t do this!!"
My desperate words made her freeze.
"…If not sick?"
Her eyes were serious.
"If not sick!! Then kiss?"
I forced a stiff smile.
Fine.
I’ll kiss you on the forehead, Ione.
Just that.
"Alright. I promise."
"Promise."
She huffed.
"Promise."
Once she was fully healed, she would go back to the palace.
She would live as an Imperial Princess.
As the Saintess of the White Order.
And I would be long gone, never to be seen again.
So, before I left—
I could at least give her a kiss on the forehead as a farewell.
That was all.
And you too, Ione—
You have to live without .
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