"Welco back, degenerates," PrematureFinisher greeted his chat, leaning dramatically into his mic as the stream kicked off. "We’re live. We’re thriving. And no—I haven’t emotionally recovered from Dark Moon’s first match."
He was seated in what looked like a tiny rented flat with tragic lighting and an aggressively colorful ran bowl. The stream overlay was labeled "Post-Match Breakdown: Dark Moon vs. Starridge – A Disappointnt" and the thumbnail featured Kain’s face in a glowing pink fra made out of butterflies, rainbows, and puppies. It was the perfect fra design for a 5-year old girl.
The viewer count imdiately ticked past 82,000.
Indeed, ever since Premie leaned into his lives centering around Kain, although his viewership never exceeded 200k again, it was still far beyond the original 2-5k viewers per stream.
Behind him, the match replay was frozen mid-fra: Soren mid-air, dramatic as ever, preparing to tear apart the final Starridge contract with his own draconically transford hands. But the cara had already panned away—zooming in on Kain’s face. Unmoving. Mildly bored. Indifferent yet handso...at least in the eyes of his fans.
Chat was lting.
>KAIN4Life420: WHERE IS KAIN
>StarShatteredSimp: HE DIDN’T EVEN FIGHT AND I STILL SCREAD
>ZoomLensLover: KAIN LOOKED AT THE CARA AGAIN—REPLAY THAT FRA
>KarenaShipper: serena is next to him still??? The Karena ship is real!
"Right," Premie muttered, rubbing his temple as he got dizzy from the constantly updating chat box. "So today we will be re-watching the first match of Dark Moon College."
He hit play.
"Kairos opened the 1v1 with his gloomy and creepy looking contracts—I wish his contracts were more aesthetically pleasing. Although, I will admit they are as strong as they are ugly—"
>WormToButterfly: SHUT UP HE’S BACK ON CARA
>WingDaddy: they’re focusing on Kain again
>StepOnKain432: i am nothing but a moth to his evolutionary light
>OnlyRationalOne: holy sh*t is this how cults start? Y’all are obsessed.
"...Fine," Premie sighed, dragging a subwindow titled KAIN WATCH into the corner of the stream. "Welco back to Kain Watch: the only segnt where I pretend I’m not obsessed while giving you the rundown on a man who doesn’t know I exist."
He replayed the footage again. Kain blinked. Glanced at the lens. A subtle shift in posture.
Premie paused and his face heated up slightly. Without the chat even telling him to, rewound and dragged the cursor forward slowly.
Fra-by-fra.
Kain’s eyes narrowed by a fraction. His lip twitched into what might’ve been a smirk. He nodded.
Chat combusted.
>Ms.Simp2232: HE LOOKED RIGHT AT ! I KNOW HE DID!
>HeSawUs5678: KAIN KNOWS. HE KNOWS WE’RE HERE!
"I—" Premie swallowed, slightly pink. "Alright. You know what? That mont needs to be added to our shared doc."
He clicked into another tab where viewers were already compiling footage. A pinned fanpost titled "Kain Nodography" had tistamps, crowd reactions, and mood rankings.
Premie scrolled. "Who the hell ranked ’Semi-Disdainful Nod, Match One’ as S-tier? You people are—oh. That was . Never mind."
He tried to steer the conversation.
"Anyway! Match comntary... Dark Moon had a new mber in Kain’s year, this ti competing in the 3-vs-3. I swear it was a girl last year, right...?"
>Ms.Simp2232: Shut up. Just focus on Kain.
>Fashionista213: what brand is Kain’s scarf at tistamp 1:42:31?
>FairyLoveWhatOneWears: i think it’s a limited edition made by Renald Vestriel. See the elental silk and the embroidery?
Behind him, another image of Kain filled the fra. Unmoving, relaxed, but still radiating danger.
"And then there’s the fashion choices, people. Dark Moon’s uniforms are murder weapons. I’m telling you. Every ti they walk, the embroidery catches the light. There are low-tier colleges in the provinces still using iron-on logos."
He held up a graphic he’d slapped together in five minutes titled "Uniform Hierarchy."
It ranked the colleges by how beautiful their uniforms were.
S-Tier: Dark Moon College – "Tactical elegance. Big Budget Aura Every hem stitched with real silver."
A-Tier: First Celestial – "Refined, too clean. Boring."
B-Tier: Supernova College – "Gritty urban couture. Interesting but not flattering."
D-Tier: Starridge – "What are thooose??"
Chat went feral.
>LintRollOrDie: they could’ve at least lint-rolled that Starridge jacket
>BudgetTrauma: i swear one of them had duct tape on the shoulder
>SpiritualTaxFraud: compared to Kain’s uniform??? that’s a war cri
Premie slurped his noodles and nodded solemnly. "We may have lost today, chat. Not us personally, but spiritually—when Kain didn’t fight. I felt it. The hole in my heart—but at least we got to see him in uniform."
>SylphLover88: he still fought
>FairyFaithful: he was on the battlefield of our souls
>WolvesOfWill: those kids on stage had his Clear Spring Wolves
>SpiritHeir: that fairy had his fingerprints on her wings
>Kain4EverySchool: kain is winning even when he doesn’t show up
"That’s true," Premie admitted. "Did you guys see the spike in fairies this year? I counted eight lesser fairies across the brackets today alone. Plus one greater fairy. That’s wild. I rember when silkworms were sothing only losers would contract."
> SilkyContract: i would literally beco a silkworm if it ant he’d touch at least once.
"And don’t even get started on the River Wolf Pup situation," Premie added. "Used to be niche. Now every first-year has one. I saw soone selling plushies of Clear Spring Wolf outside the arena."
He opened another tab with a rch photo. "I bought three."
Chat scread.
>GildedHeart: I NEED THAT PLUSH
>SpiritSoaked: if Kain sells bathwater i’m buying, much less a plushy.
Then a ssage pinged in his mod queue.
@CrowFeeder posted: "BREAKING—KAIN SPOTTED IN FOOD COURT. ORDERING GRILLED RICE WRAP W/ SPICY GINGER SAUCE. CONFIRD BY STAFF."
Premie froze.
"...Chat," he whispered, "I must go."
>KainTax: SELFISH.
>LinkyDink: TAKE US WITH YOU YOU COWARD!
>SpirituallyAbandoned: I swear if you don’t record it
>HungryForKain: how dare you leave us to suffer in ignorance
>BetrayalWings: unfollowed. reported. blocked. I hate you.
Premie ignored the chat as he shut it down, grabbed his coat, slamd the noodle lid back on like a man going to war, and marched off.
His viewer count had hit 414,203 by the ti it was shut off.
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