Chapter 75: Iris: Event 5
I WATCH Lucas take Bella by the wrist with blurred teary eyes before the two of them disappear sowhere behind the tent—sowhere away from prying eyes.
Just like Lynn said they did whenever they t at events such as this one.
The mont they’re out of my sight, a chilling uneasiness entangles my body in an instant. Without thinking I stand from my seat and leave the table, much to the dismay of the others. I can hear Mary mumble sothing to calm
but I’m walking away from them before she even reaches out to grab .
I can’t fake a poker face anymore.
I’m too stunned that Lucas left with Bella, and even though the look he gave
before he left with her was supposed to assure , it had the opposite desired effect unfortunately. It was like a reminder that I was the one stopping him from having fun.
I an how stupid does that sound?
I’m disgusted by it even though I’m the one thinking it for fucks sake and yet, I can’t stop myself from thinking about it. What if he wants her but is afraid to cause a scene because I’m there?
Fuck. Am I the one ruining his life instead?
Staggering for no apparent reason, I land safely on Mary’s car, the alarm imdiately going off the mont I do. Flinching at the piercing sound, I wipe the stray tears I hadn’t noticed were flowing down my cheeks a while ago.
"Figures that you’d be here," cos Mary’s exasperated voice as she stops the car alarm from ringing throughout the entire parking lot.
"I’m sorry, I was just—"
"No, I’m sorry for giving you false hopes. I just thought he’d at least...you know...stay true to his actions. But I guess even I don’t know him that much."
Taking a step closer to
until she’s facing
and holding my shoulders, Mary lowers her face so she can look at mine from below. "Raise your head, honey, it’s his loss, not yours. If anything, maybe you got a problem taken away from you."
Another wave of tears floods my eyes and I look away from Mary as a few sobs escape from my mouth this ti. Listening to Mary should make
feel heard, feel validated but it’s not. And I know she’s trying to make
feel better about all this and myself, but fuck getting rejected before you confess?
"Tell
why I’m like this?" I sob as Mary pats my back lightly and runs her hands in my hair to soothe .
"Love, Iris. You love him."
"I know," I sob as Mary soothes
with her hands. "I should have stopped after I heard he has Bella from Lynn, but I just couldn’t stop thinking maybe I was special to him. I an, they have to work on a project together for the next two weeks, how could they not be together for tonight."
"Tsk, why did I have to think like a novel nerd? Now look at
crying. I’m so stupid."
"No, you’re not! Falling in love with soone is not wrong, Iris. It’s actually a good thing you fell for him, I was beginning to think you were the next Jesus but a female this ti. Thank God for Lucas, at least I know you can be in love. And don’t beat yourself too much, you’re just like everyone else, and that’s okay."
"Well, I hate it."
Mary chuckles a little, raising her hand so she can pet my head as she leans on her car which has stopped beeping now thanks to her keys.
"Falling in love does suck sotis. You never know what the other person is thinking, and when you finally think you’re starting to understand how to maneuver throughout the rough course of love, your asshole of a brother swoops in like a bird with a bad case of diarrhea and shits on your love life as if he does know you put effort in there."
Now it’s my turn to chuckle. I wipe my teary eyes, standing up so I don’t ruin Mary’s dress with my makeup.
"You haven’t forgiven him yet?" My voice cos out shaky, but I manage to force a smile either way.
Mary must notice it because her face drops and she pulls
toward the car door, opening it without effort and gesturing for
to sit inside.
"Crying over your love life isn’t wrong too, Iris. I can give you space but if you need
to be here, I will sit with you."
The tears threaten to co again, but I suppress them along with the lump forming in my throat. Even the air in this car feels stuffy now that she’s told
I can cry.
Blinking furiously so I don’t drop a tear, I give her a strained smile. "I want to be alone," I finally let out.
"Okay." Without wasting any more ti, Mary turns on her heel, but just as she’s about to close the door, I stop her and hold it, shocking her as she turns around with wide eyes.
"Yes, Iris?"
"Please don’t tell anyone I’m in your car."
"Even Lucas? What if he cos searching for—"
"Especially Lucas. I don’t think I can face him right now without his face reminding
of his mistress, and the last thing I want right now is to cry in front of them."
Mary pauses for a few daunting seconds making
scratch the back of my neck in embarrassnt for so reason before finally nodding at . "Your location’s secret is safe with . Anything else you want
to do?"
"Yes. If you’re leaving with Phineas later can you give
your car to drive back ho?"
"Roger that. I’ll leave them with you and send a text once the event is over. Is that all?"
It’s almost as if she’s telling
she wants to help
calm down, and I can’t say I don’t want to be with her either. But on the surface, I really do need to be alone. It’s my first ti being this distraught because of a guy which makes her being near
even more embarrassing because I told her countless tis I wouldn’t cry over a guy.
Not that she would laugh at
now, but I know she will shortly.
"Yes, that’s all. Thanks for comforting ."
"Anyti. I’m always there for you if you need . Always."
Right. She’s serious about wanting to comfort .
"Thanks, Mary. Really," I give her a smile that feels more genuine this ti, a contrast to the strains I’ve been putting on my mouth a while ago.
Heeding the tone in my voice, she finally grasps that I want to be alone. "I’ll be heading inside now."
And she does, leaving
and my hurting heart to cry in the back seat of her car.
Clutching my aching chest, I let the first tear run down my cheek freely. He really did it. Lucas left
sitting at the table alone and left with Bella—like they always do. I want to hate her for taking him away from , I want to go wherever they are and ruin their little body party to satisfy this burning fire in .
But I can’t. I can’t stoop so low even though it ans Lucas gets taken away from . Even if it ans I have to stop this heart that beats for him again. Even if it ans letting go of him...
Damn, that sounds salty. I don’t want him gone. Why did he leave with her?
Raising my hand higher, I clutch my chest again and that’s when I feel it.
The necklace.
I was so elated to have him wrap it around my neck a while ago, but now that this has happened, the mory is but a bittersweet reminder that he left
alone at the table. I keep reminding myself he told
he would be back, but the image of his taking her hand as they disappeared behind the tent keeps replaying in my head.
I can’t think straight.
The heart-shaped pendants glimr in the bits of light from the lanterns as a part of
screams for
to snatch the thing off my neck and throw it sowhere in the flowers, but I can’t bring myself to do it.
That’s how much I love this motherfucker. I can’t even get rid of the things he gave
even when the road ahead of us is sowhat clearer than daylight now that he chose soone over .
Ha, Lucas you hot load of bullshit. Why did I have to fall for you in such a short ti? What am I gonna do now? Find another lover? Slouch on the couch back ho and cry? Read novels? ....What have you done to ?
A knock on my door jolts
from my thoughts, even more so when I see the face plastered on the window.
Lucas.
And he looks disheveled.
Just like a guy who ca from being given the best fuck of his life. Man, I hate myself for getting mad at him even though I’m the one who slacked off with this confession.
"Iris, I know you’re in there. Please open up."
How does he?
A notification rings on my phone as a ssage from Mary pops up.
Mary: Sorry. He looked like he was about to cry.
Ugh. For crying out loud.
Turning back to the window, I look at his face closely this ti. She’s right, he looks like he’s about to cry.
"Iris, open up or I’ll have to smash the window."
Ignore him.
"3."
He’s bluffing!
"2."
He can’t be serious.
"1."
Lucas disappears for a mont before producing a flower pot monts later which he raises in the air.
"Here I co!"
★★★★★
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