(From Blue's Perspective)
These days, I had these questions asked by a voice inside my head. It always asked questions and sotis, it answered so of mine. The answers were very raw and real, and so were the questions. It was like a part of was trying to make understand sothing. But what?
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And when I was with Lady Liliana, she asked about how my life was before marriage and how I t Dem. It triggered my mind and I just kept hearing voices in my head.
'Why did you accept him so quickly? Why did you not run away? Even if you could not, why did you not at least try?'
'I accepted him because I was tired of everything. Hearing his words, part of just lted. I wanted soone to like , and care for . So, even if I had no way of validating whether he was telling a lie or the truth, I accepted him. I did not run away just because he said so sweet words. It was stupid.
Yes, I did not regret it. But now that I can think rationally, it all feels so stupid. I was just not in my right mind at that mont. I just wanted soone to take away from that hell.'
I did not regret my choice. With my broken ntality, I was not sure if I could ever be satisfied in a normal relationship.
"His Highness and Your Highness seem to be so deep in love," Lady Liliana said at one point.
"We are. We love each other more than anything else," I said. "This marriage would not work this well if we were not in love with each other."
'Are you sure the marriage life is the life you want? You can be powerful. You are powerful. When you let go of the strings keeping you down, you can fly higher than anyone else."
'Power is sothing I want to taste, even at least once, but this is the life I chose to have. I could have left anyti if I wanted to, but I did not. Because I want this. I want my husband, I want my son. I can do without power,' I answered in my head.
The voice laughed. 'Are you sure?'
Yes, I was sure. Was I not?
'When will that one ti when you will taste your real power co? Or, will it ever co?'
I shook my head, trying to get rid of that voice. I felt suffocated and confused. I took a brief glance at my husband and son who were on the couch, playing.
I let out a sigh. How could I ever choose sothing over them? My family might be a little crazy, but it was the best for .
After half an hour, I finally was free to return. After spending these days with her, I figured she was not a bad person. Actually, she might be a little too good if I was right. She was way too innocent to be a Queen. I was quickly reminded of the old . I had been like this.
But I did just fine. She would do good if she tried as well.
"You took your ti," Dem grumbled when we left the room.
I rolled my eyes. "I am always with you. She needed my help. Besides, I am glad that I helped. She is a good lady."
"You never know. Do not trust soone so easily, my love."
"I trusted you very fast."
"That was stupid, but the situation is different."
"Wow, you called stupid so quickly," I stared at him.
"I called your action stupid, not you," he said.
He was so serious about it that it kind of made rethink my entire life choices.
"That is calling stupid in a way," I said.
"Honey, I don't an that. What I an is what you did when we first t was weird."
"What you did was no less weird," I rolled my eyes. "You literally bought . You could have just killed them or sothing. I would not have cared. And that would have been less weird."
"That would freak you out. Maybe not now, but that ti, it would."
"Then, you kept saying cringe things."
"I read them in romance novels. I did not have any experience."
"Just because you read them doesn't an you can say those things the first ti you t soone," I said.
"How the hell was I supposed to know that?"
'That's common sense, dude…'
"You were into those cringe things," he said.
"Not into them. I was just… I don't know. I did not care, I suppose," I said.
We got our lunch delivered to our bedroom as my maids said they would need to start getting ready. One maid was doing my hair, another maid was painting my nails and the other was washing my legs. And Dem was feeding while eating.
I had put Dion in his crib as he was sleepy. He needed so sleep before going to the banquet. Or, he would be cranky the whole evening.
"The at is good. What's this?" I asked as he put a spoonful of the at in my mouth.
"Rabbit, most probably," Dem said and took a bite of his food. "Yes, it is definitely a rabbit."
"But I don't eat rabbits?"
"What do you an? We had them quite a few tis," Dem said.
"Where?"
"In the palace, of course."
"What?"
"… The fact that you don't know what kind of at you are eating is worrying."
"Rabbit at is delicious. During the war, we ate rabbit at the most," Perita said. She had co back after having lunch and was now having a mousse cake.
"I also ate that then?" I asked.
"Your Highness was served the best pieces. We also caught a huge wild boar. Since you did not like smoke, you did not remain for the barbeque. That's why you don't know," she said.
'That many things happened and I know nothing?'
"You barbequed a boar during the war?" I asked.
"We tend to have fun when we can," she said. "It's the way we have always lived."
It was human nature to have fun. The sa went for werewolves. But I never thought about life like that. Life had been black and white for for a really long ti. It was only three years ago when I got to experience the colors that life could bring. It was fun, beautiful, and truly addictive.
"Open wide," Dem said and I opened my mouth. The food was delicious. I had to admit my eating disorder had gotten better slightly. I could eat more than before, although Dem and the doctor said it was still not enough. But they also admitted that I had gotten better. Dem kept on encouraging .
It helped.
I noticed I needed to get really tired to eat properly. That ti, my body felt the need to eat more and I had no choice but to oblige.
It took a really long ti to get ready.
The dress I wore was a feathery dress. The original inspiration for the black feathery part was the birds that I controlled. Yes, I still could not get them free from my control. I felt so bad for them.
The bottom part of the dress was really tight and had scales. It was based on the dragon's scale. The collar of my dress was really long and stood high, imitating the wings of the dragon.
My hair was put in a sleek bun. The tiara stood high top on my head. I wore minimal jewelry as the dress was more than enough. More jewelry would look weird and just too much.
I wore dark red lip paint. It was the color of blood. It suited the look just well.
Dem's style was all black as well just like mine, although his one represented his power. Dion's little attire was a mix of both of ours. We did not add any weird feathers to his.
"How does Mommy look?" I asked my son, who was really surprised to see my dress it seed. He never saw wearing a dress like this. He was just staring at .
"He is shocked," Dem said.
"Do I look bad?" I sulked.
"No, you look beautiful and hot. Most importantly, sexy, I must say. You are now a fashion icon. It won't be long when we will see this kind of style on other won," Dem said.
"You look handso too," I smiled.
"Dion, baby, won't you co to Mommy?" I kissed Dion on his chubby cheek. Now, he giggled and ca to . He seed to recognize now.
According to Dem, Dion was just needy and he knew that I would give him a kiss soon.
Dem might not be wrong, considering whose son Dion was.
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