(From Detrius's Perspective)
Dion's eyes were set on as I held him vertically to my body, placing his head in my palms. His eyes followed my movents. He must be seeing all these things for the very first ti.
"Aa," I said.
"A…," he mimicked, his mouth drooling as he tried.
I chuckled, wiping his lips. He could make small sounds, kind of like 'a'. And every ti I made the sound, he followed.
Blue was taking a bath. She and I had been having sex a lot these days. Although it was satisfying, I actually felt guilty to do it so much that she could not move much afterward and got very tired. Actually, that was my plan. I wanted to make her so tired that she could not move anymore. Then, she would not be able to work as much as she wanted to.
She needed rest. A good rest.
"Can you say 'daddy'?"
"A…"
"What about 'dada'?"
"A…"
"Hah, I am being as crazy as your uncle now. How can you even say all of that so soon?"
"I have been trying to get him to say 'mommy' a long ti ago. Surely Luc and you are not as crazy as ," Blue laughed.
She was standing in the doorway of the bathroom, watching us with a smile on her face. A towel was wrapped around her body.
Dion's eyes were trying to find her, hearing her voice. I was not sure if it was because he could recognize her voice, or because he just heard another voice.
"He looks like a burrito," Blue observed as she ca closer.
"Do we need to keep him swaddled like this the whole day? Sotis I feel like he wants to move," I said. Dion always stretched out like an adult every ti we got him out of the swaddle.
"No, it's just good for them," she said. "But we can take it off if we want to."
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She sat down beside as I carefully took the swaddle off. I held him the way I burped him after he was fed. It was who usually burped him. For so reason, it was actually rather calming.
I placed the garnt aside and gently placed him in my arms vertically once again. Dion seed to like it when I held him this way.
"You are a good father, Dem," Blue said gently and placed her head on my shoulder.
"I am trying to be."
"And you are doing a good job at it," she said.
"All these things are so new," I said. "But I think, I am enjoying it actually. It's not bad. The feelings are new and calming… Exciting too."
"I know, right?" she said and yawned. "Why am I so sleepy all day?"
"You are just tired."
"I wonder why," she rolled her eyes at and I laughed.
"You love it too."
"At this rate, if I did not take contraceptives, Dion would have a sibling in my stomach by now," she said. "Seriously, your energy is admirable."
"What can I say, baby? I am just hot and capable at the sa ti," I smirked.
"So, does everyone do it as much as we do?"
"I can bet, not many do it, however, the ones do, either they have so much passion between them, or either passion and love, never only love."
"Love is pure."
"That sounds too boring," I said. "Who does just 'love'?"
"You won't believe, honey, a lot of people. In my world, you will find a lot of books based on 'pure love'. In those stories, and even real lives too, people leave their loved ones for their happiness, sotis, for fate."
"There is no fate. And if two people love each other, they should be together no matter what."
"Honestly, I always found those books weird. I don't know. I always thought love loses the aning, when you are just too… sacrifice loving…"
"And patriotic. Trust , especially in my position, when you are patriotic, too much patriotic, you cannot love soone, truly love soone. That love is pure. However, pure love is boring. It never suits ."
"It suits none of us," she said.
"I think we will be the type of parents who embarrass their children by being too lovey-dovey," I laughed.
"That's better than having parents who don't love each other," she said. "At least, we love each other. Let it be twisted, let it be unhealthy, at least, we will never love soone else. There will be no one between us. It's just us. Our son will be lucky to have us, you know, just like we are lucky to have him."
"I still am a little worried about what kind of father I will be…"
"Not 'will be', my love. You already are a father. You are his father. And you are doing amazing. The way you look at him… It just lts my heart."
"How do I look at him?" I asked.
"Like," she said, gently squeezing the chubby cheeks of our son, "he is sothing really precious. Like you love him so much."
Did I? Did I truly look at this little thing that way?
"You do love him a lot, my love. You adore him. You want to protect this precious thing," she said, looking at with those dazzling blue eyes.
"He is… just so little. He is even more little than normal newborns. I just feel like I must protect him," I said.
Because Blue was a human (although a dark mage, she was still a human), our child was smaller than werewolf newborns. I had seen Flint's newborn. Dion was much smaller than Dela as a newborn.
"I know the feeling," she said in a whisper. "If I could, I would just hold him to my chest forever and shield him from this outer world. I feel like if I take my eyes off him even for just a second, he won't be here anymore."
Blue had a traumatic experience with our first child. Her fear surely was extre and it had a valid reason to be.
'She has traumatic experiences with everything,' my mind reminded .
Oh, she did. She surely did. From her childhood, she was physically and verbally abused until she was eighteen. She was almost forced into prostitution by her family. Then, she was forced to lose her child by a crazy knight who was supposedly in love with her in a very sick kind of way. My love was twisted, but surely, not in that way.
And then, she was kidnapped and she was branded alive with a snake-shaped mark on her back which awakened her power, without her consent. After that, I almost died and she had to lead a war without any experience while pregnant. Right after giving birth, she had to fight, without even getting enough ti to hold her own son for a while.
And the fact that I married her forcefully did not sit that well with as well. I did wrong. I also yelled at her many tis, got angry with her, and… even chained her up. What I did to her was in no way worth forgiving. My twisted mind knew I would do it over again, just to keep her by my side.
Still, I had done it to a woman who was traumatized beyond repair. Would the wounds ever heal? Most probably not. Or, maybe they would, after a thousand years or so. She had an eternity. But she did not deserve it.
Any of it.
Sotis, part of wondered what if I had not done that. What if I had been a little more considerate?
It did not matter. What was done was done. There was nothing I could do to turn back ti and even if I could, maybe I would not change my actions. My twisted self probably would not change.
At least, I loved her. I truly loved her. I could do anything for her. I never could be the charming hero. But I could be the world's villain and do anything for her. It was okay if I was only her hero.
I did not need to be good in this world's eyes.
Blue took Dion from to feed him. If our son recognized one thing, it was his mother's breasts. He knew what to do with them rather well as every ti Blue changed her clothes in front of him, he would stare at them and start making the sa noise he always made when he was hungry. It kind of sounded like 'O'.
"If even one year ago, you asked to share, I would have never said yes. But now look. I am sharing you with soone."
"I am literally feeding our son," she rolled her eyes.
"Yes, but still… I always thought only I would get to have your breasts."
"Not when you have a child," she said. "That said, have you noticed the difference in size between my left and right breast?"
"You should feed with both of your breasts equally, I think," I suggested. I was not sure why it happened, but the logic I could find in my head was this.
"Yeah, I think so too. And my bra… My size is two tis bigger now," she said with a grin.
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