(From Blue's Perspective)
"Luc said he hates you at least ten tis in this letter," I said as I read aloud the letter Luc sent in the dining room. I did not want to read it aloud, but it was Dem who said so when we were alone in the dining hall as I got hungry and he insisted that I should start eating ahead of others.
When I read one-fourth of the letter, others arrived one by one and sat down to listen to reading the letter with a rather awful amount of curiosity.
Since Dem could not be hurt by Luc's insults, he did not mind reading it aloud in front of others.
"He has ntioned every reason he hates you," I muttered. "It looks like he loves you very much."
"He just insulted ten tis, Blue," he said.
"Well, that's how you two show that you love each other," I said.
Dem acted like it made him nauseous and disgustedly looked at . "Gross! Yuck!"
"You are like a kid," I chuckled.
"There are different ways of showing love. In Your Highness's case, you two just bicker at each other. But that doesn't an you hate each other. It is just the way you show your love for each other," Ruby said. "But in Her Highness's case, both of you tell her how much you love her.
Luc wrote at least five tis about how much he loves Her Highness and cares for her and told her to take care of herself. Both of you do it. So, this is how it works."
Ruby smiled at and borrowed the letter to read it again herself. One ti, Ruby gave one of Luc's letters to show how he showed his love for her in a letter. He would tell her that he missed the sll of her hair. It was just so hilarious and cute that I laughed for a long ti while Ruby sighed. But it was clear how much she loved that letter, no matter how Luc expressed his love for her.
In my letter, Luc told how much he wanted to et his nephew or niece, so he kept telling to take care of myself and the fact that I was surrounded by many loved ones who would never let any harm co my way.
"He is a great brother to Blue it seems," Evan said. "And also, he will be a great uncle to your kid."
Evan sat beside Detrius as his usual seat beside was taken by Ruby.
"This is actually true. Both husband and wife care and love Blue more than anyone else, except ," Dem said. It was very rare for Dem to acknowledge it so openly. He did when we were alone, however, it was one of those few tis when he acknowledged sothing like this in the presence of others.
Evan let out a chuckle. "Oh, yes, yes, she is their precious letter sister, after all."
"I am actually older than Ruby. We have a difference of four months," I said.
"Oh, is that so? It is very hard to understand as the mistress of the magic tower sotis takes care of you like you are her kid. I really admire it," Evan said.
Ruby smiled. "Well, Her Highness sotis does act like my kid. And her knights act like her kids."
We chattered a lot during dinner. Dem also talked for at least two minutes with others which surprised . It surprised others too, except for Perita who could not care less about how long the King talked. She cared more about the food.
"You look lively," I said.
"I look better because I am with you," he said.
Sotis sadness flashed on his face and I had noticed it not just once, but several tis. I had a feeling that he was trying to look lively not because he felt it, but to show that he was actually well. He did not want to make feel bad.
But I had already known what exactly he felt. What difference did it make?
Even sex lost its pleasure when both of us were worried about different things. Dem was worried about and that soone might try to hurt and I was pregnant. Pregnant won were a matter of worry as anything could happen. And I was worried about Dem as he was going to leave for the war again.
As much as I hated it, I also knew it was unavoidable.
I washed my face and body a bit and went to the bed. I lay down motionlessly, observing the ceiling. I heard water splashing in the bathroom. After five minutes, Dem ca back in his bathrobe and climbed on the bed.
He looked from and to the ceiling, then at again. Without a word, he lay down by . The room was silent. As there was no window in the room, no sound ca in from anywhere.
I could hear his steady breathing. It only reminded that tomorrow, I would not be able to hear this sound, I would not be able to lay by his side like this. It would be gone. It would be over. I would not be able to feel his presence for a long ti. What if sothing went wrong?
What if it was our last night together? I pushed the ominous thought out of my head.
"I dread her," he said after a while, almost silently.
"Who?"
"Mother," he muttered. It was the first ti he called her mother after a very long ti. Sothing ached inside . If the loved ones failed soone, it was very painful, even to watch it happen. "In my dream, I saw so parts of my past that I had almost forgotten. I realized I had not only lost the mories of those seven years but also the years before.
Maybe not fully, but for the most part."
"… I saw myself asking to sleep in her room and crying," he continued, his voice steady and calm. "I was very little, maybe four, I'm not sure. I mumbled I had a nightmare the night before. I did not want to be alone. She closed the door on my face because I was being annoying. I kept banging on the door and refused to leave.
As I was disturbing her, she opened the door and pushed so hard that I fell backward and hit my head against a statue."
"… Oh my…," I gasped.
"I was bloody. The blood scared and it was very painful. I cried harder. I had not taken a fascination with blood yet at that ti. She only looked at disgustedly and told the maids to do sothing about it. The dream ended there," he said.
I did not know what to say, how to offer my comfort. I was puzzled. How could a mother do that to a child, barely four? How could that woman even call herself a mother?
She was not a mother. She was nothing, but a monster.
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