(From Blue's Perspective)
Two days passed since Dem had left. He had sent a letter yesterday saying he was on his way to the battlefield. He promised to send a letter if he got any ti and would co to visit in a month.
The fact that he would be by my side probably for the remaining months of my pregnancy was saddening. But more than being sad, I was scared for his well-being. Read new chapters at empire
"Don't just sit in your room," Evan said as he walked into the bedroom while I was sitting on a chair with Sapphire on my lap. I was trying to read a book unsuccessfully as my mind kept thinking only about one thing, one person.
"I have nothing else to do. I am trying to read a book," I said.
"You," he said, taking the book from , "are holding it upside down. And this is what you call reading?"
"… Just leave alone…"
"No, you will get up and take a walk with in the garden," he said. "I am bored too. Your husband has brought here, but I have nothing to do. Don't you think you should listen to only this request of mine?"
I sighed and got up, accepting the helping hand he offered. "Are you sure my husband hasn't threatened you? I see no reason why you should accept to stay by my side in his absence," I stated.
"You know very well that even if your husband threatens , I have no obligation to listen to him. Whatever I am doing is for my own gain," he said.
"I am partially blind, I think, regarding this. Mind opening my eyes?"
"I think if I stay close to you, I will be able to find out more about your father," he said. "There is no way he will stay completely quiet."
"Trust , I believe, he is busy trying to defeat us and kill my husband in the war because he can't use another thod," I said. "He is now not just after , but my husband as well. While he wants alive, he wants him dead. I don't think he will do anything to my baby."
"Of course, as your child will have so of your power and since you are really powerful, your child will be one of the most powerful dark mages ever as well," he said. "Your father does not seem to be the type of person who will let go of any opportunity to get more powerful."
"That's what I ant," I said. "I am worried about Dem now. He is… I don't know what will happen to if sothing happens to him."
We started to make our way to the garden. I wrapped a blanket around my shoulders since it was slightly chilly.
"What are you worried about? You will get the kingdom of Querencia anyway," Evan said.
I stared at him in disbelief. "No," I shook my head, still processing what he had just said. "I don't want to be the ruler of Querencia when he is not by my side. It's because of him that I even got to be a Queen. And I love him."
"Blue, I know I am in no position to say this, but we are by nature judging. And I must say that your relationship with King Detrius is full of red flags."
"I know that. I know that very well. Since the mont it began, it was but a red flag. But you know, none of us are a green flag. We are toxic, just in different ways. Two toxic people cannot make a healthy relationship.
I accept his toxicity, while he accepts mine."
"Yours is considered nothing to his," he said.
"Yes, he might be extre. But you know, at the end of the day, I cannot bla him entirely. You don't see a person every day whose mind has been ssed with for at least seven years, who could not afford to have a good childhood despite being the son of a King, who was exposed to the ruthlessness and cruelty that a child should not face at such a tender age. I cannot expect him to be normal.
That would be stupid of to think."
Evan did not say anything. "Well, if you two are happy, I have nothing more to say. I have already crossed the line."
"I don't bla you for thinking this way, Evan," I said. "But, rest assured, we are happy. Yes, I still get surprised every day by so of his secrets. But really, for soone like , I cannot imagine a better life. He has improved a lot now. He is trying.
I just… I need to be by his side. I want to be there for him."
"… It sotis angers how forgiving you are, Blue," he said.
"Well, I never learned how to hold a grudge about certain behaviors," I said. "I cannot hold grudge against him even when I know so of them are wrong in the general sense."
After all, I never learned to hold grudge against soone who showed strange behaviors that I was not familiar with. I knew to be angry at soone who would get angry at for no reason or hit . But I did not know if I should be angry at soone who obsessed over , who was overly jealous, and who would rather chain up than ever think of letting go of .
No matter what he did, it was not compared to what Father and Draven did to . I learned to get angry at the kind of behavior Father and Draven showed, not Dem's. So, even after knowing Dem was doing sothing wrong, I could not stay angry at him.
"Co over here," he said, advancing toward a bench under the shade of a mango tree.
We sat down there. I actually felt quite better here than in the room. "Does the baby kick?" he asked.
"Not yet," I said. "I still don't feel anything. I read in a book that pregnant won feel the baby's movent around 16 to 24 weeks of pregnancy. I am almost over that period of ti, but I still haven't felt anything like my baby moving. But I also read that in the case of first pregnancy, a mother might not feel anything, at least not until the 20th week. I hope I will be able to feel my baby soon."
"Are you so impatient?" he chuckled.
"Of course! I want to et my baby quickly! I hope the ti passes quickly! Dem, our baby, and I can be the best family then."
"I wish so too," he said, a little sulkily. It made look at him. "I envy King Detrius. I really do. I should have taken the chance when I had ti. If only I was more determined, I could have."
"Don't tell you like romantically, Evan. That won't be a good thing," I said.
"That's not it," he shook his head. "But I envy King Detrius because he got to have a family when I could not. I did not know how much I craved a family of my own until I saw the two of you. Trust , I am much better than King Detrius. I am not obsessive like him, I respect personal space and I am not overly jealous. Still, he got the best things.
Nothing can be better than having a family, having soone who got your back. I don't think I have romantic feelings for you, but I think I should have married you."
"If I married you, you would have fallen for . It might be hard to listen but you fell for King Detrius only because he was the first person to help you escape from that place, to show you kindness. Even though it was a kindness covered with greed, you fell for him. If we were married and I showed you that kindness, it would be you loved. Of course, there is no use saying that.
You are married to him and we are friends. That's the reality. And I am happy for you. At least, you have gotten a real family."
Evan did not change his form to hide his identity here, which only made feel even worse for him. I wished he had soone who could love him too. He was lonely. What he said was true and false at the sa ti and sothing that I did not even want to think about. There could be an alternate ending to everything. But what was the point in thinking about it?
In the end, we had to live the reality, not the alternate reality.
I placed my hand on his. "I hope you will find soone in your life too," I said. "I wish at least you will get the peace of mind through anything, not necessarily a person."
"You are a good person, Blue," he smiled. "Though I cannot say I will be successful in that, I wish you are right. But, you know what, I don't hope anymore. It's gone. Ti is gone."
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