The Werewolf's Chapter 654: A missing piece

Chapter 654: A missing piece

Jabi

Sothing weird happened to

in the night. I have never felt the way I felt. Sothing was missing.

My baby was missing in my joy.

I knew it.

I didn’t want to wake Darrien up.

I didn’t want to have to talk about it with him because things were going great. We had a bond that I thought we would lose with Tala.

Her na is tala.

I am the one that chose the na.

I loved it the minute I heard it.

I should have loved her as much as I loved her na but it didn’t happen. From the beginning, I felt like I was going to fail her. I felt like I was going to be a terrible parent.

I didn’t know why.

I didn’t want to disappoint her but I ended up doing just that. I haven’t held her—like really held her since she was born. I would watch her from a distance. I would find a way to drop with soone else whenever she was in my arms. I didn’t want to bond with her because I felt like she wouldn’t love .

How many people could love soone as imperfect as ?

How many people did I want to disappoint?

I turn around, my eyes looking at the room. Darrien is beside . he is sleeping, so I get up slowly, so I don’t wake him and walk out of the house. I know where she would be.

Alanis is the only one that Darrien actually trusts to leave alone with his kid. It makes no sense because every one in our family could watch her and she would be fine but he is such a helicopter dad that he cant.

I walk in the dead of night until I get to the main house. I just want to see her and maybe apologize for all the things I have done. For the way I treated her.

Hold your child.

Love your child.

Those had been the chants in my head.

It is easier said than done. I don’t even understand what I am going through but it seems like Dar does. We haven’t talked about it but I know that he knows there is sothing wrong with .

I knock on the door and it takes a couple of minutes for the door to open. Beau furrows his eyes in confusion as he sees

"Jab, is everything okay?’’ he asks confused.

I nod and try to give him a smile to assure him but it cos out faint. I don’t even know why I am here "Can I see her?’’ I ask.

"Tala?’’

I nod.

He smiles.

He understands how hard this must be for . the people in the community all treat

differently. It is all thanks to Beau. he has been amazing. He treated

like I belonged and now everyone does the sa. he might not have said anything to

but he knows.

They all know.

At least the ones that matter to .

"Sure, she is asleep though. I just checked her,’’ he opens the door and I walk into the house.

The cool air hits

from the air conditioner. I walk behind him and he doesn’t say anything to . he doesn’t need to. I didn’t co here to have a conversation with him. I just ca to see my daughter and he is letting

do that peacefully.

We get to a door and he opens the room for .

"You can spend the night here if you want,’’ he informs

before he leaves. I thank him as he leaves and walks over to the crib. I see her and my heart thuds against my chest. I don’t know how I am supposed to feel.

I don’t know what my reaction is supposed to be.

My baby.

She is sleeping.

Her tiny eyes are closed.

Her mouth is slightly open.

Even asleep, she looks so much like .

The mont she was born, I saw it. I saw myself in her. so why haven’t I been able to love her the way I love myself.

Why do I still see her as the thing that would bring

and Darrien apart?

Because you are scared.

My wolf tells .

I shake my head.

She squirms in her sleep but she doesn’t wake up. I don’t reach for her. I just watch her. unsure of how I am supposed to feel.

This should co naturally to .

Right?

Not everyone.

The voice in my head that is my wolf tells . I want to believe him but I don’t know.

I grab the stool in the room that is in front of the rocking chair and sit down on it. my hands rest on the crib as I watch her. unlike all the other tis, I want to be close to her. I want to figure her out, I want to know how she feels about . I don’t know if I want to hold her. it would be a bad idea. Whenever I hold her, she cries. I don’t want her to cry. I just want to watch her quietly from a distance.

I close my eyes for a second as I listen to the sounds of my heart.

I know how my wolf feels about Tala.

There is nothing but love.

Love that I want to feel.

You are denying yourself of this privilege.

I know.

I open my eyes as her squirms increase and she opens her eyes slowly as she starts to cry.

Maybe it is my presence.

I an, I make her cry.

What would make this mont different?

I grab her gently because I don’t want her to wake the whole house up. they are already doing us a favor. The least I can do is take care of my baby. Her hands grab mine but she doesn’t stop until I stand up and rest her on my chest. At first, I am scared but the minute she stops and I feel her clutch onto my shirt.

I don’t know what to do.

"Here, I made a bottle for her,’’ Alanis walks into the room. "You can feed her on the rocking chair. I used to feed the twins on there all the ti."

I thank him as he walks out of the room.

I sit down on the chair and her eyes are open. She is staring at

with this intensity.

She knows.

Almost like she is trying to register my face into her mory. I am not the one that she sees all the ti.

I am the terrible parent.

I place the bottle on her mouth and she takes it in imdiately, her eyes never leaving mine.

My heart races faster as I feed her.

A slow smile forms on my face.

I don’t know how I feel at this mont but I know I will try to be better for her. I will try to be the best.