Chapter 64: Alone
Jabi
Ever since Beau got missing, things have changed here. Slowly this place is not feeling like ho anymore.
I never actually felt like I belonged to this pack. There was a part of
that felt lost. All my life I have been an outcast, not really accepted by anyone. It sucks to be soone no one wants. Everyone in my pack makes
feel that way—except Beau and now he is gone.
At least no one seems to be looking for him. It makes no sense that they will just give up. They all seem to be brainwashed by Mr Fallon. He is the new Alpha. At least until the ritual. I am only loyal to Beau. He is the only one I care about. They say the pack is like a family but I don’t feel like I have a family. I have never really belonged in this pack. Sotis I wish I could just die from the heartbreak I am supposed to eventually die from.
Beau is the only one that believed I would find an Alpha. I am still a kid; I should be able to hold on for a while at least another two years but I am already exhausted.
Things are going haywire here.
Everyone is scared of Fallon.
Deep down they know he killed Rick but no one wants to admit it. They are scared that they could be next. Beau is the only one that had the courage to fight him and now he is gone. The only person other than Beau that I semi trust is Rex. He is waiting for Beau; I know he is. I can see it in his eyes. He doesn’t have the power to rebel against an elderly Alpha, no one does.
Alby is supposed to perform the Alpha ritual. All against his will and belief. We are living in a tyrant situation. Everyone is scared of the Vampires and the fact that they could attack us at any ti that no one wants to stand up against Fallon.
I can’t stay here anymore, at least until Beau gets back. I know he will co back. He is the strongest person I know. He is the bravest person I know.
I have been saving for a while now.
I have a couple of hundred bucks from my job at a diner. It is supposed to help
escape. At this point, if I die, I want to die away from these people that are supposed to be my family.
It’s been a long ti coming.
Being the outcast all because I lost my family is the most heart-breaking situation. My father fought in the war and lost his life for the pack, in the end, I lost my family and in turn beca an outcast. The irony of it all is that I don’t even care about any of that.
Beau made
feel like I belonged and now that he is not here anymore, there is no point staying here.
I look around the community for Rex, I need to talk to him about it. I don’t want to leave without telling soone, I can’t stay here anymore. Ever since Fallon took control, he has everyone believing he can’t protect them from the vampires. He is planning an attack. He has convinced everyone that Beau is dead.
No one is even looking for him.
There is no way he is still alive since Cassius took him.
He is going at it the wrong way. We have suddenly beco hunters. Searching and killing vampires. Even if they have nothing to do with Cassius. I know this is the wrong way to go at it. We are asking for another war and I don’t want to be here for it.
There is nothing I can do to protect anyone. I am at the weakest I have ever been. I have no energy left to even stay here. I haven’t hunted for fresh an since Beau disappeared. I can’t do it alone and I have no one to do it with.
I finally find Rex and the walk to him is with heavy breaths. He looks as exhausted as . Okay, maybe not as exhausted as , but pretty tired. His hair is a rumpled ss and his clothes look like they weren’t ironed. His eyes have dark circles around them.
"Rex," I call his na.
He looks up and manages a smile, he has been hanging around Isabella. I guess he needs to be around an Alpha. It is easier for him when he has people that care about him. I have no one.
"Hey," he waves his hand in the air.
"I need to talk to you,"
He looks around and over
like he is searching for sothing or maybe soone. "Are you okay?"
I haven’t been okay for a while.
"Yeah, can we go sowhere else?"
There are people around, I don’t want to say whatever in front of anyone. I want him to know, in case Beau cos back. I don’t want him worrying about . He is the only one that worries about .
"Okay," he leads
to the path that leads into the woods and to the exit of our land. We are not allowed to go into the woods. We have to stay in groups, in case vampires try to attack us.
We stop in front of the gate to the parking lot. He sighs and looks around. There is no one here.
"What is going on?"
I sigh and run my hands through my hair. This is the mont I tell him that I am leaving, that I am abandoning ship. Okay, this is not a good idea but it is the best I can do.
I can’t stay here anymore.
I don’t believe in our leader right now.
"I need to leave," I tell him straight forward.
He furrows his brows confused at my revelation. "What do you an? Leave where?"
"The pack."
He opens his eyes wide from the shock of my words. No one leaves the pack. The only way you are allowed to leave is by dying. I don’t want to die in this pack. I don’t want to be buried with people that don’t give a shit about .
I won’t die here.
"You can’t leave," he says deadpan.
I frown "I am not asking for permission. I just thought I should tell you because of the respect I have for Beau."
"Beau is not gone."
"People are saying he is dead."
"Do you really believe that?"
I shake my head "No."
"Then don’t do this. Be patient. He will co back. You just have to believe in him."
"No one is looking for him."
He sighs "You might think so, but I haven’t given up. Isabelle is continuously searching. Don’t think that we have given up on him. We need you to be strong now."
"I am exhausted."
He nods in understanding. Rex is an oga like . He might not be going through the sa things as
but he is going through his own demons. He is struggling with his own battles. So, I cannot judge him and say he has it easy. I don’t want to.
"Let’s just get through this as each day passes by," he is trying to comfort . I don’t feel comfort at this mont. Thinking about it, if I desert the pack, beau might not be happy with
when he cos back.
I would hate to make him upset with .
"Okay."
He smiles and pats my shoulder encouragingly "I’m going over to Alanis’s house. You should co with , get away from the compound for a bit."
I nod.
"You will be fine."
*****************
The drive is quiet because I don’t really have anything to talk about with Rex. Once we get to the house, he leaves
in the car with the explanation that he needs to warn them first. I know they are not completely accepting towards us but I also know that they don’t completely hate us.
It might not be the best idea to bring
with him but he was right, I needed to get out of the community.
Just being away from my supposed ho is making
feel better. I know I promised Rex that I will be optimistic. I believe that Beau will be found. He is not just going to give up but I don’t know how long it will take. I don’t know if I will be able to survive it.
"Wait here," he states.
After a couple of minutes of waiting, I see a car park right next to us and I see Darrien get down from the car. There is a sad expression on his face and as he passes
without any notice, my heart sinks in my chest. There is sothing about him, he intrigues .
So much.
I have t him only once and sothing within makes
want this to be a reoccurrence. I want to get to know him. I want to be close to him. I know he is older than . Probably about 6-7 years but I don’t care.
As he goes into the house, I look at the car and see Alanis. He looks a ss. His eyes are red, almost like he has been crying. This thing must be getting to him so much.
I don’t know how he feels because I haven’t found my mate but I feel for him. With a lot of hesitation, I get down from the car and walk over to his. He doesn’t notice , it seems like he is talking to soone, but there is no one in the car with him.
I reach for the window and with slow movents, I knock on It. Unsure of why I am doing this in the first place.
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