Chapter 590: More than I have been made to be
Rex
I have been scared all my life.
I have always hidden behind Beau. He was always my ’get out of jail card’ I would use him as the excuse for why I couldn’t do anything. I have never led a haunt, I have never physically fought with anyone in my life. I always saw myself as a loser. The one person that would always be defeated.
Even now, with all that we have been dealt with, I tried to find a way to escape. I was willing to leave my mates to an unknown fate, so I didn’t have to be in the fight.
I will always be a coward.
I will always be scared but I want to do sothing—anything. I want to contribute to this fight. I want to feel among for once in my life. It is easy to let Darrien just do it but I also want to. I want to prove that I am more than the oga that is fated to be a coward.
I am more than our ancestors have made
out to be.
I want to do this.
"If you are going to do this, I suggest you get on with it,’’ Darrien coughs out impatiently.
I understand that there is no ti for this dilly-dallying that I am doing but my nerves are all over the place. I don’t know how I am going to do this but it is all I want to do, the only thing that will make
feel good about all that has happened.
"Okay,’’ I take a deep breath as I reach for her. She is dressed in a white gown and her hair is flowing down her shoulders.
"Just rip out her heart, that is the best way to do this,’’ he suggests.
I will help. Bring
out.
My wolf tells
and instantly I feel my claws co out of my finger. The pain is not as much as it would be if I fully transforms. Darrien is watching , I can feel his gaze on . He is not sure if I can do this but I know I can.
"Co on, we have five minutes left. There is no ti again." He pushes . The pressure doesn’t help but I do what I need to do as I reach for her chest.
"So it is easy, all you have to do is dig in and then bore into her chest. Co on." he urges
impatiently. I follow his instructions but my hand still shakes. I feel her skin as I press into it with my claws, the sounds make my skin crawl. Blood splatters out of her chest. A dead person is not supposed to have blood. I have been treating her as a dead person but she is alive and still breathing. In an instant, her eyes open.
I jolt away from her and my hand falls to my sides. "Shit,’’ I exclaim as blood starts to gush out of her.
"Finish what you started,’’ he yells at .
Her eyes are still open but she is not moving. She is just staring up at the ceiling. My legs tremble as I try to walk over to her again but I can’t move.
"Co on Rex, if you don’t do it, I will have to on my own.’’
He sounds like he wants
to do this but I am so scared. I suddenly feel this wave of insecurity that I have been trying to push away. "Do it now, rip it out,’’ he tells
as I succeed in taking more steps to her.
I have to psyche myself up for it but I am back on her again and this ti, I want it to be done fast. My hand pushes into her and this ti, I feel everything. All the anger that I have felt since we ca here. All the anger that I have held. From my parent’s death to growing up, everything cos rushing in.
I don’t even see anything as I feel her heart, as it beats against the tips of my fingers. The fear that has been pulling
down completely vanishes as I pull out her heart. My hands clutch it tightly. Sohow I don’t want to let go of it. My breath is ragged, sweat trickles down my face as I hold on to her heart.
"Done, look at her,’’ he comnts and my eyes find their way to her body.
Her skin is paler than it was a second ago. Her eyes are still open but white. She looks dead. This is how she was supposed to look when we opened the coffin.
"I did it?’’
He smiles. This is the first ti I have seen a genuine smile from him since he ca to pick
up. He looks at
like he is proud. It makes
feel happy.
I did this.
Yeah, I know it wasn’t a big deal. She wasn’t fighting. All I had to do was bring her heart out.
"Yeah you did," his eyes shift to my hand "Now you can let go of it,’’ he tells
as he looks at her heart in my grip.
"I don’t want to. I am scared that it wouldn’t have worked."
He chuckles "Trust , Amber is a lot of things but she wouldn’t lie to ,’’ he walks over to
and I let go of her heart. This amazing organ that Analise has used for evil. This part of her that is supposed to be used to love.
She beca a monster that locked it up.
"Co on, we have a minute left.’ He tells
as we walk out of the mausoleum. The cold air hits
imdiately. My hand is still covered in blood but this feels like a victory to . This feels like a win that I didn’t think we will have.
"Let’s go find your mates,’’ he tells
with a smile on his face.
I look up at the sky and return his smile.
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