Chapter 480: Doubt with a lot of fear
Jabi
I watch him as he grabs a bag from the closet and starts to put clothes inside. I don’t know what he is doing or where he wants us to go but I just want him to take a breather and talk about what happened.
He is dressed in cleans clothes now, after having a shower. All the bloodstains seem like sothing he wants to forget about and he hasn’t even talked to
about it yet. I know he did sothing to Lenny but I don’t know what he did.
"I need you to pack a couple of things you will need,’’ he tells
as he finishes putting so clothes inside the bag.
"Where are we going?’’ I manage quietly.
I don’t want to do or say anything that will upset him or make him think about the things that I have done.
"The community,’’ he tells
as he drops the bag on the floor and walks over to the closet again. I wait for him to co out again and he does after a couple of minutes with another bag. ’Here, I need you to put so things here,’’ he manages before walking to the bed and opening his drawer by the table. I watch him as he brings out his phone charger and laptop.
"Why are we going to the community?’’
He turns to
with a frown on his face "That motherfucker knows where we live, I don’t want him to co back and try anything. We need to hide out for a while.’’
"I thought he was dead,’’ I mumble so low for fear that I am wrong.
He nods "He is, but I don’t know for sure. I don’t want to take any chances. I don’t want to relax and have him hurt you.’’
He is talking so fast,
It takes
a while to piece together what he is saying.
"Okay.’’
I mumble "You are ready?"
"We need to go.’’ He says as I walk out of the closet with a couple of shirts in my hands.
I nod and toss them into the bag as he stands up and walks over to . He grabs my hands in his and squeezes them gently "I know you are scared right now and I am not helping you but I promise, everything will be okay.’’
His assurance is comforting but I wish I was the one giving it to him. I wish I was the shoulder that he could lean on.
"I am sorry,’’ I manage with a small smile on my face.
"You didn’t do anything. These things happen. I am the one that let it happen in the first place.’’ He is still holding my hands but he puts them down by his side.
"I just want you to be safe,’’ I tell him as he leans forward and rests his head on my forehead. I close my eyes because I wish we could just stay like this--without any problems.
Just
and him.
In this world.
"I love you so much,’’ he whispers as I slowly part my eyes open and wait for him to kiss . His lips touch mine and I feel it in my soul. He kisses
with so much love and tenderness it is hard to resist. His lips are soft and warm as they explore my mouth. We linger just a little longer than we should. I don’t know if I want to stop it or want to make it last forever.
He pulls away from
and looks at
with so much love and tenderness in his eyes. I feel the hot tears in my eyes as I whisper "I love you too."
We don’t say anything else and he grabs my hand again and walks out of the room. I follow him out of the apartnt with the bags in our grip.
This is our ho and Lenny is making
leave my ho.
I have never hated anyone as much as I hate him.
***************
We get to the community and Beau is waiting for us by the gate. I don’t know what Darrien told him but he has this look of worry on his face as he welcos us into the community.
We left the pack because it didn’t feel like ho but now, we are coming back because this is the only place Darrien feels safe and protected. This whole ordeal just makes it seem like this place is ho to Darrien.
I co down from the car and Beau walks over to
"Hey,’’ he smiles at
but I see the pity in his eyes. Beau has always treated
like a child. Like soone, he needs to watch out for. In fact, everyone has always treated
like I am fragile and maybe they are all right.
Why else would Darrien need to kill soone for ?
Why else would I put him in this kind of situation?
The fact that I can’t even rember everything that happened just makes
even angrier. I hate that he is the one that rembers, that he has to think about it and see it.
I wish I didn’t put him through this.
"You okay kiddo?’’ he asks
as he slings his arm over my shoulder and pulls
into the community.
"Yeah."
I manage as we walk inside.
Beau continues to stare at
with those sad eyes.
"You are still scared, right?’’
I shake my head and try not to think about the thoughts that are pushing their way inside my head.
"I’ll co by and check on you tomorrow,’’ Beau offers but I shake my head before he can say anything.
"No, it’s okay,’’ I tell him. I really don’t want to talk about this with anyone. I need to talk to Darrien. We need to actually have a conversation about what happened. He frowns "I will co and check up on you tomorrow."
It is almost like he is not asking.
Like he is telling
that he is going to like it is not an option. We walk into the community and I look around with a sense of fear and trepidation. I don’t want to bring any problems to the confinents of the community.
He walks
to the house and I hear Darrien’s footsteps behind us.
Once in front of the house. He stops walking "It’s going to be fine, don’t you worry about anything.’’ he tries to assure
but I am not so sure.
I am terrified because I feel like it is not over.
Like we haven’t heard the last of Lenny.
I hope I am wrong.
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