Chapter 278: Fear
Lanis.
Having soone like Beau who is already a very caring person be extra caring is the best thing in the world. It has been three days since he said he was going to pamper
and those three days have been the best days of my life.
One of the healers ca over to check up on
yesterday. There was an obvious shock in their eyes when they discovered that the baby. All this while we both knew but it was never confird and now it is even more real.
I am still not one hundred percent at that place where I have accepted this because this is still as scary to
as it was when I first felt the changes. Two babies, growing inside of . That is sothing I just can’t get used to.
"Hey babe,’’ Beau walks over to
with a smile on his face. He crawls over to the bed until he is in front of
with a cheesy smile on his face. There is nothing Beau wouldn’t do for . I have been living for those monts for the past week. His lips press to mine and I close my eyes as I enjoy this mont. Every second I share with Beau is a blessing. One that I want for the rest of my life. I can’t imagine my life without him. The dream I had, was terrible. A world where he didn’t exist. I still think about the days I lived before I t him. The searching, the loneliness, longing. I don’t ever want to feel that way and if I have to go through this, then I would gladly.
He pulls away from
slowly but his eyes never leave mine. When he looks at , it feels like he is staring into my soul. The kind of intensity will only ever be understood by him. "How was the eting?" I ask him genuinely curious to know how it went.
He smiles and then rests his head on my chest. Slowly I feel him completely lt in my arms "the lead we got on Fallon is legit. He is in a couple of towns away from us. We think it will be a good idea to get to him before he sneaks up on us.’’
I hear him clearly but I don’t know if I like what he is saying. I remain quiet because I don’t know how I feel about letting him go on this alone. I want to co with him but I know he wouldn’t let . Right now, if he could keep
in a bubble for the next nine months or so, he would.
"Say sothing,’’ he breathes out, leaning forward so that he can get a clearer view of my face.
I close my eyes with a long sigh because I am not in the place to tell him not to do this. He needs closure on his father’s death and he will only get that if he finds the man that killed him. Fallon has been in hiding for so long and this is a good thing. We know where he is.
I just don’t want to let him out of my sight. I want to see him at all tis with . Maybe that is just too much to ask for—he is the Alpha of this pack after all. He can’t possibly ask his people to do all the work. Especially since this man is his uncle.
"I want to co with you,’’ I tell him imdiately.
"It’s dangerous,’’ he says deadpan.
He has already made up his mind.
"I know but I just want to make sure you don’t get hurt.’’
He nods and then sits up on the bed, "I know that and I need to make sure nothing happens to you. I know you can handle this but I can’t be worrying about you the whole ti. You are all that’s on my mind, so it is better if I know you are at ho safe than with
out there.’’
I get what he is saying and I don’t want to cause another fight. We are at a very great place in our relationship. The place that I want to be in for the rest of this pregnancy.
"I have a surprise for you,’’ he tells , slowly jumping off the bed and to the door. I sit up because he probably wanted to lead with that when he walked in. "I got soone to co keep you company,’’ his smile widens. He is already under the notion that I am not going to argue with him. That I will just listen to him and stay at ho like so kind of housewife.
Is that what I have beco?
He opens the door and I wait for him patiently. The person I see on the other side is not soone I was even expecting—or have even thought about in quite a while.
"Russ?’’
Russ walks into the room with a wide smile on his face, his hands out stretched. I don’t even move from the bed because I am shocked that he would think I would want to spend my ti worrying with Russ.
"What is this?’’ I ask, confused as fuck.
"My long lost best friend. You know, I should be pissed as fuck but I miss you dearly." He jumps on the bed and into my arm without consent. I lay limp in his arms and he chuckles "So, you went gay on ,’’ he says as he pulls away from , not even bothering to get off the bed.
My eyes dart to Beau and he has a smile on his face. I raise a brow because this has
confused. I don’t even understand his logic for this. He could have brought anyone. Eligio—even Darrien is a better baby sitter than Russ. Why do I even need a baby sitter?
"Okay, I am glad you guys are acquainted. I should be on my way." Beau blurts out. I didn’t even know he was leaving now. What the fuck is this?
I jump up from the bed and walk over to him "You are leaving tonight?’’ I ask him, not even paying attention to Russ on the bed. Russ is my best friend but I have been so distracted by my new life that sohow, I put him on the sidelines.
"I know it is sudden but we have to get there before he knows that we know. i promise I will be back.’’ He grabs my hands in his and squeezes.
"I can handle coming with you. I am not even that far along. It has just been a couple of weeks. Please don’t leave
ho with him.’’
I am acting childish.
"Yo, I am not that bad. We do have a lot to catch up on,’’ Russ interrupts our conversation.
He is actually not bad but I still need to be with Beau. "Just a day, two days max. Be patient okay.’’ He leans forward and his lips are on mine. I know, I know I am clingy. I keep thinking back to the dream. The goddess of the moon showed
sothing that I don’t ever want to experience. The life that I would live if he doesn’t exist. If anything happens to him and I don’t want that. I want him in my life with our kids. I want our happiness so badly.
"It’s not fair,’’ I cry. Real tears fall out of my eyes and I try to wipe them off but he is quicker than . He lays his hands on my face and I close my eyes.
"This is just hormones. Ogma ntioned that you would be extra emotional during the first trister." He is smiling, to , it seems like he is floating on cloud nine. Talking about hormones and tristers. This must be a cruise for him.
"Then don’t leave
here,’’ I beg not wanting to tell him that this is not about hormones. This is about the fear of losing him and the things that Selene showed .
"I am not leaving you. You got to let
handle this on my own."
I can see the frustration in his eyes. I don’t want to act this way but it also feels like I have no choice "You won’t even notice that I am there. You can count on ,’’ I grab the collar of his shirt and his eyes shift to my hands. Fuck, I am acting clingy.
"et
halfway, okay. Just do this for
today. Please?’’
My hands stay on his shirt. I had hoped that I would be able to convince him but I see it, he doesn’t want
to go with him. He wouldn’t back down on his words. Not even for .
"Let the man go dude," Russ says in an attempt to break the ice.
"Please,’’ Beau repeats, slowly batting his lashes.
I sigh because there is no way I will win this. "Okay. You win.’’ I let go of him and he smiles, leaning in again. "I love you plenty."
I want to tell him I love him too but there is this fear inside . Call it PTSD but I fear that sothing will go wrong. I fear that I will lose him.
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