Chapter 269: Let go of it all
Gyles.
"How can you help
and who are you?’’ I ask. Roger is still here but he is very quiet. I don’t know what is going on but I will take waking up over all this. I am tired of being here, tired of being asleep and unsure of what is going on with Rex.
I don’t like the way I left and I need to co back to it. I need to wake up and leave this limbo-land.
"No one brought you here Gyles. You ca here on your own?’’
My eyes dart to Roger and he looks at
sadly "Why would I co here. I left my life behind. The people I love, they need
right now."
She smiles warmly. The kind of smile that makes
want to trust her. She seems very gentle and caring. A person that people could trust easily but I don’t trust her. I have co to learn that trusting people always let you down.
"It’s up to you if you want to wake up. No one is stopping you here,’’ she informs .
I frown "I want to leave.’’
"How guilty do you feel right now Gyles, I want you to be honest with yourself.’’
I furrow my brows because she is talking to
like I even understand what she is talking about. I have no clue what she is saying. "Guilty about what?" I ask her.
The smile remains plastered on her face "Guilty about anything. Your life, mates, the people around you. Just think and tell
what you feel?"
To , it seems like she already knows what I feel but she wants
to admit it. Do I feel guilty? Yeah. I feel guilty about a lot of things, things that I don’t want to admit to anyone. I hate that I exist. I hate that I am who I am today.
I shouldn’t be alive right now. I have caused the demise of too many people.
"There you go, now say it out loud. Tell
how you feel?’’
I don’t know why she wants to know and I don’t even know who she is. She told
her na, but it doesn’t ring a bell. She is a stranger to
and she wants
to open up to her.
"I am not a stranger,’’ she reads my mind.
This woman is invading my private thoughts. She is trying to show
her strengths but it doesn’t even faze . I remain quiet because the stubbornness in
is coming to play. The smile is still on her face as she walks closer to
and stops in front of .
"I know you don’t trust —you don’t trust anyone and I could leave you here to figure things out for yourself but I know you need to go back. Your mates need you right now."
She grabs both of my shoulders and I feel a pull that suddenly makes the room spin. I close my eyes as the spinning becos faster and in an instant, the spinning stops. I open my eyes and the room is dark, unlike where we were before. Selene is still here and that fucking smile is still on her face. It is almost like she can’t get upset—not saying I want to see her upset but no one is this happy all the ti.
"Where are we?’’ I ask her, turning towards a cage in the room. I see soone on the floor, my heart beats for the person before I even know it is. The only people that my heart beats for are Blue and Rex. This just ans, this is one of them. I run over to the cage and try to grab the bars but my hands pass through them and I fall into the cage. Then I see him clearly. He is crouched on the ground, he is shivering and crying.
Fucking hell.
What is going on?
"Rex,’’ I call his na even though I know he probably can’t even hear . I am not even here. This is just Selene trying to get
to open up to her. She is using one of my weaknesses to make
trust her, this just makes
angrier. I don’t know what happened to him but for him to be in a cell, he must have hurt soone.
"Baby,’’ I call, wishing at this mont, he can hear . Wishing he would look up and see .
"Why am I here?’’ I turn to her.
"I wanted to show you why you need to get this over with—why you need to go back.’’ This doesn’t make any sense. If I really need to go back, why won’t she just send
back?
"I want to go back. Please send
back,’’ I beg her because I can’t stand here and watch Rex hurting and no do anything. I am the one that brought him here in the first place. I am the reason why he is in this situation and I am not even helping him.
"That is guilt. You think this is your fault but it isn’t.’’
I turn to her as the tears fall from my face. She is trying to psychoanalyze
but that is not what I need. I need to go back to them. "Okay, I am guilty. Can I just go back to them now?’’ I beg her with so much desperation.
"I didn’t bring you here Gyles, you are here on your own and if I didn’t intervene you would never make it back.’’
The expression on her face is suddenly serious. This is the first ti this night that I actually believe what she is saying.
"What do you an?’’ I ask her wanting to know for sure.
"You don’t want to go back, Gyles. You are giving up and if you don’t fight, you might just never wake up."
I wipe the tears out of my eyes. I don’t know what she is saying. She can’t really think that I want to die. I have so much to live for. I have these two amazing guys that love , they want to be with , why would I want to leave that behind?
This makes no sense.
"I understand how you feel Gyles and I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t think you needed . I chose you to be one of my children. I gave you Blue and Rex because I know you need them. You needed a break and I gave that to you. Now it is up to you to help yourself. It is up to you to stop beating yourself up for everything that is happening and look forward to a bright future. You have to really let it all go.’’
My heart thuds against my chest.
How do I do all these things she is saying?
"What do ii have to do?’’ I ask her.
The smile returns to her face "All you have to do it wake up, be present in the lives of your mates."
She makes it sound so easy. How easy could it be?
Wake up, Gyles.
Wake up.
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