Chapter 24: Take the pain away
Alanis.
The wind is so loud that the branches by my window hit it loudly. The rain pours heavily and I feel a twinge in my chest. Sothing is wrong—asides the fact that two people are dead. I’ve been waiting for any news on how they died but nothing has co up. The worry is eating
slowly and I miss him. I wish he was here but I know he needs to be ho. With his family.
I don’t know why I feel like sothing terrible has happened but the rain in the night sky is not helping matters. I sent Beau a couple of texts to make sure he is okay but I haven’t heard anything from him yet. Hearing a loud knock on the window, I walk over to it and he is standing on the branch drenched. I open the window hurriedly. He jumps into the room and that’s when I see the tears. He is crying. The water dripping unto my carpeted floor mixes with his tears.
"What happened?" it has only been a couple of hours since I saw him. Does he know the people that died? Of course, he does. They are his family. I feel more guilty now, knowing I was sohow involved even though I didn’t kill them. What if they didn’t have to deal with Rus? They might still be alive. He walks so slowly and rests his chin on my shoulder still crying. I wrap my arms around his waist and his tears beco louder and ssier. I don’t care that he is getting
wet, I don’t care that he is a ss right now; I just want to be there for him.
He stays in my arms for a while and I hold him until he is ready to let go. Beau doesn’t let go as he smashes his lips to mine. The kiss is angry. I can feel it "Babe" I try to pull him away from
but he is too strong. He slides his tongue into my mouth and pushes
to the bed. I don’t know what he is doing. He is still crying and now he wants to take off my clothes. "Stop," I hold him by the waist.
He pulls away from
but only briefly "I need to feel sothing other than anger. Please let ," he is still crying and my heart is hurting from the pain in his eyes. I can’t say no to him. If he needs this then I will give myself to him with no objections. The love I have for this man is too strong. Him being in pain is making
in pain.
I kiss him and he closes his eyes taking control of the situation. He starts to unbutton my shirt and I watch him as he struggles to kiss
and do that at the sa ti. I grab his hand; he is trembling on top of . "What happened?" I ask him. He ignores
and pulls at my shirt; he uses to much force that the buttons co off and fly everywhere. He doesn’t seem to care because he just continues trying to get
naked. His lips move to my neck and I have mixed emotions. I want to enjoy his touch but I can’t when he is in this state. I need to know what is wrong. I wish he could just talk to .
He reaches for my belt and unbuckles it. He is quick to take my clothes off. This is not about him wanting to feel. It feels like he wants to have sex. He knows we can’t.
I watch him wanting to see where he is going with this. He doesn’t stop until I am naked. His eyes stare at
hungrily and I understand why he is doing this. Sohow sex is a coping chanism for him, whatever is going on must be too much for him and he wants to forget about it.
I wish I could make him forget about it. I want to be that comfort for him but I also know that giving him what he wants right now could make
lose him forever. I can’t take that risk; he is all I want in life. Still kissing him; I run my fingers through his hair, in a way to let him know that I am here for him. He stops suddenly and we look at each other. The tears in his eyes have stopped but the sad expression on his face is still there. I continue my hand movents on his hair and he closes his eyes. Taking steady breaths. No one says anything, I don’t have anything to say. He knows my heart and I know he will talk to
when he is ready. After a couple of seconds, he rests his head on my chest and I continue my gentle strokes on his hair. It seems to be helping him and I will do anything if it’ll make him feel better.
He remains quiet and after a while, I hear his slight snores. I look at him and his eyes are closed. Thank God he is asleep. I needed him to calm down and I guess whatever I just did, worked. I place him on the bed but he holds unto
and opens his eyes "Don’t leave " he sounds like a child and I just want to take care of him.
I hold him again and he continues sleeping. I close my eyes because I have to be in this position until he wakes up. I have to be in his arms; I have to be by his side.
**********************
I open my eyes to the blaring of the sun and suddenly the rain from last night is like a vivid dream. Beau is still holding unto
tightly. He chest rises and falls against my arms. I am glad he slept all night; he was in a bad state of mind last night and I still don’t know the reason why. It has sothing to do with the death of the people in his pack.
I let go of him quietly and this ti he doesn’t budge. He is probably ntally tired from all that is happening. I put on my clothes from last night—even the ripped shirt and walk out of my room. Eligio cos out of his room at the sa ti as
and smiles warmly "Good morning," he walks over to .
I manage a smile. My door is slightly open and he peers into it with a smirk "Is he okay?" he asks.
I nod "Yeah, he just had a rough night."
I close the door and that gets a laugh out of him "Everyone heard you guys last night," he tells . It is impossible to get any privacy in this house. You know the saying the walls have ears? Well, the hearing in my family is exquisite. Everyone has heightened hearing. So, everyone is in everyone’s business.
"Well, you guys chose to listen in. I got to go make sothing for him to eat," I walk to the stairs but stop "Has anyone heard anything about the bodies?"
He shakes his head "Father is waiting on the autopsy result," he tells .
I sigh and run my hands through my hair "I’ll talk to Beau when he wakes up,’’ Eligio nods and follows
downstairs. I make eggs and sausages for him and go back to the room with the tray. He is awake and seated on the bed. He is in tears again.
This is torture. Watching him hurt and not being able to do anything. I drop the tray on the bed and he looks at it almost like he is unsure of what to do with it. I sit down next to him "How are you now?" my voice is calm; I want to comfort him. Let him know that he can trust .
"Not okay," he answers honestly.
I place my hand on his shoulder and he grabs it tightly "Is this about the murder?" I inquire.
He shakes his head and wraps around my arms again crying. Fuck, what is going on? This is a lot and I can see the struggle it is taking for him to hold on. "He’s gone. They killed him" he cries into my arms. Suddenly things get clearer as he tries to open up to
"They killed my father. What do I do, I don’t even know what to do. He died and the last thing I told him was that I was going to desert him."
His father is dead?
Holy shit.
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