Chapter 103: Always with you.
Beau.
’’Close your eyes,’’ Jules tells .
I obey him and do exactly what he wants. ’’Your father used ditation as a way to channel all your energy to the right place. I want you to think of him, rember all the things he taught you.’’
I don’t like to think of him, rembering him brings painful mories. Uncle Jules doesn’t want
to forget him. I can never forget him. ditation has never been sothing I liked. I hate the silence that cos with it. the fact that you have to be in your head. I hate being in my head, the thoughts that co with it. Too many bad things have happened to e of recent. Being in my head makes
think of everything.
This is Uncle Jules way of preparing
for the ritual. I have to be ntally ready. He said everything will co naturally, the mating ritual is instinctual. I will know what to do when the ti cos.
It is just a couple of hours and I am nervous. With everything that is happening, it is easy to forget all the things that are important. Killing Cassius is still my number one priority. I won’t forget that he is still alive and as long as he is alive, he is a danger to
and my family.
’’You’re straying, get back on track,’’ I open my eyes and he is watching . ’’Keep your eyes closed,’’ he warns .
I close them back confused.
’’Don’t think about all the negative in your life. think about the positives. Forget Cassius and all the deaths.’’
How can I not think about death when that is all I am surrounded with? Every day, a new problem arises. I hear his footsteps and he is in front of
in an instant ’’Don’t open your eyes,’’ he warns
again, almost like he knew I was going to.
I inhale as I try to control myself. In that second, I feel his fingers on my forehead and in that second, I blackout.
I open my eyes and I am no longer in the community, on the field. I am on the beach. I rember this place. I used to co here with my father all the ti. What am I doing here?
’’My son,’’ I freeze at that mont because I recognise that voice. The voice I never thought I would hear again. This cannot be real, I was ditating with Jules and now I am at the beach, which is far away from my house. I don’t want to turn around because I am scared that this is all in my head and once I turn to the direction of the voice, I won’t see him.
’’It’s ,’’ he says and this ti, I turn around. Sure enough, he is standing right there. Dressed in a white shirt and black pants. He looks alive, he looks exactly the way he did when I last saw him. Unlike the last ti I saw him, there is a smile on his face. he looks at peace.
He is not upset with
anymore.
’’Daddy,’’ I call him my voice croaking.
He nods walking closer to , we are a couple of feet apart from each other. I want to reach out and touch him. My father is standing in front of . He is here.
I don’t know what uncle Jules has done but I don’t mind this hypnosis. I have so many questions. I want to talk to him; I want him to tell
how he really feels about Alanis.
I want him to give
his blessing.
I need his blessing.
’’Are you real?’’
He nods ’’As real as I can be right now. I have been with you all through everything. I never left. I can’t leave you until things get better.’’
He has been there all along.
’’You died.’’
He nods ’’Death is never the end.’’
I don’t know what he ans, he takes another step towards
and before I know what is happening, I am in his arms. Holding unto him for fear of losing him again. I cry for God knows how long. I cry until there are no tears left in
and then I cry so more. He clutches unto
in a deep embrace as I cry. Its always been said that an Alpha isn’t supposed to cry. You can’t show weakness, even if you are breaking down and falling apart. You have to hide it all, make everyone think you are okay.
I have always thought that was stupid. No matter who you are, emotions are a part of you, bottling them all in will only make things worse. After a while, you will explode, and the reaction would just be worse than letting go when you actually need to.
I let go of all that completely as I feel like a child in his arms. It takes a while for
to stop and he is patient with . he holds
like he used to when I was just a young pup, with gentle pats on my back.
Once I have let it all out, we break away from the hug and he smiles warmly ’’I see you called Jules.’’
I nod.
’’He is the only one you can rely on. He is the only person I ever trusted.’’ He informs , even though I already knew. Dad and Jules rarely saw each other but they were together, their smiles could light up the room.
’’You have to listen to him, do whatever he asks you to. He knows what he is doing.’’
’’Are you okay?’’ I ask him, changing the topic.
He smiles ’’I am, things are easier in this life. no one is trying to kill you here.’’ I rember all the things he went through. The war, the contention, the hatred his brother had for him.
’’Fallon ran away,’’ I inform him.
’’He will co back. Do not relax on him. when he does, be ready for him. do not hesitate to kill him.’’
The fact that his advice is to kill his brother is heartbreaking. Father loved Fallon. He tried to be there for him. he trusted him when no one else would. He never did anything to deserve what he got. I don’t have a brother; I don’t know how he feels. Betrayal from the one person that should have protected you. Your own fucking blood.
’’The ritual is in a couple of hours. I am scared that sothing will go wrong.’’ I confess.
The fact that Lanis has been worried about this, just made things more confusing for . we are the first vampire/werewolf mates. This is not the sa as when you mate with a human. I don’t know what could happen, but people are putting things in our heads and it is clouding all the excitent I am supposed to be feeling.
You don’t know how long I have waited for this mont. Since I was twelve. I have imagined the night of my mating ritual. I have made up different scenarios in my head. Imagined different people, different tis but no one can compare to Alanis. He is the perfect one for , but that lingering fear that I could ruin all that he is with this keeps eating at .
’’You said sothing to
when you told
about him. you said this was out of your control.’’
I nod. That was my debate to get him to let my relationship with Alanis flourish. He didn’t seem to think it was a good idea then. Yes, I know it had a lot to do with the fear of the unknown.
He didn’t want
to be different.
He didn’t want
to have to suffer because I was different. he went into father protective mode and he refused to listen.
Now things are different.
’’This wouldn’t be happening if it wasn’t ant to be,’’ he points out. I know that this love that we share was decided upon from the beginning. Destiny is a very powerful tool. No matter how much you try to change it, it always ends up coming to past.
’’Don’t listen to anyone, block all the negativity out of your head. listen to your heart and know that I will always support you and whatever you decide.’’
’’I love you, dad.’’
He smiles ’’I love you too. When you open your eyes, rember that.’’
In that instant, I feel the pull again as I blackout. I am not ready to leave him. I still have so much to say to him. So much to ask him.
My eyes open and I am breathing heavily. I have been cross-legged on this ground, but it feels like I travelled far away. That felt too real to be just in my head.
’’What did you do to ?’’ I ask Jules who is just watching
with curiosity.
’’Nothing you didn’t want. he wanted to see you,’’ he tells , knowing who I saw.
’’How is that possible. He is dead.’’
’’Just because soone is dead doesn’t an they aren’t still with us. your father is still around. His soul is protecting you. He will never let any harm co to you.’’
I remain quiet.
I don’t know what to say.
’’You need to get your confidence back. You think you are weak, but you have no idea all the power you harness. Stop all the negatives out of your life. You can do so much more than you think.’’
This is easier said than done but knowing my father is watching
makes
feel better.
I am not as alone as I think I am.
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