(Ryoto's pov)
I sat in front of Isamu's grave, which was next to the other grave on the hill that I made for all the people I killed. Usually, I co here about once a year to rember all the ones I killed, why I'm doing what I'm doing, and just go down mory lane. Rembering happy tis, sad tis, my relationships, and so on, but today was not that day. I just wanted to vent to an old friend.
"Hey, Isamu. Long ti no talk. I know that I visit seldom, but you don't reach out to either, so I feel it's fair." I chuckled lightly at my own joke, but it died down quickly as I turned more solemn. "I don't know what to do. There are so many choices, so many dead ends. I know the way to victory, but it's filled with sacrifices and probably a broken family. I wonder what you would do in my place..."
He would probably do everything he could to help . If he was alive, I would probably ask him for help, and it would solve a lot of my problems, and since I don't have that much contact with his family and Quincy overall, my options are limited.
"You know, when I made this grave, we 'drank' together for the last ti, but I hope you don't mind if I drink a bit of sake."
I'm not a drinker by any ans, but I can appreciate a taste from ti to ti, although nothing beats lollipops to this day.
As I was enjoying my ti alone trying to find a solution to my problems, I noticed soone spying on , and I recognized my stalker.
"What is it, Soi Fon?" I called out to her without turning to her, and she ca out of her hiding spot and stood behind , not saying anything for a short while.
"Yoruichi-sama asked to 'beat the depression out of you', but looking at you, I lost all motivation to do that."
I chuckled at her. "Is it your rebellious phase? I can't imagine you disobeying your precious Yoruichi-sama."
"If you are trying to get yourself punched, then you're doing a great job."
She practically growled at .
Soi Fon took a few steps and stopped when she was next to and again didn't say anything for a few monts.
"So, what's going on?"
"I must be dreaming. Soi Fon is asking about my well-being."
"One more word, and I'm pulling out Suzubachi."
It was an empty threat and not even a threat, to be honest. We both knew that even if she tried to, she wouldn't be able to hurt . It's the kind of dynamic that we have.
"So... that's your friend's grave?" She finally asked.
"Not a real one. He is buried in the living world, but this grave here is just a morial that I made."
She turned to the other grave. "And this one?"
"This one is more complicated. Do you still want to hear about it?" I asked, at which Soi Fon took a mont before nodding her head. "You see, before I beca a parent, before I beca a Captain, and even before I was a Lieutenant, I was an ordinary guy... OK, maybe not so ordinary, but my point stands. What I'm trying to say is that I had a kind of normal life, so when I ca to Soul Society with Rin, I knew that I needed to change to protect her. I knew that I would be forced to kill sooner or later, and unfortunately, I was right."
I continued talking as Soi Fon carefully listened to .
"But you know what? I hate killing. Taking soone's life away is not a pleasant experience, not just because it can be ssy, but knowing that your actions end soone's existence for any reason can be traumatizing. And it was at first, but it gets easier every ti I do this, and this in itself is scary. I don't want to be numb to the act of killing. If it happens, it ans that I disregard the importance of life, and I'll be changing beyond what I'm comfortable with."
I took a small pause to breathe.
"And finally, we can talk about this grave. You see all the strokes on it?"
She nodded. "Each stroke represents a person I killed since I got to Soul Society, and I even rember all of their faces while trying to rember as many of their nas as possible. I don't want myself to forget that they were alive, and because of , their life has ended. In a way, it's grave for an old , and each stroke buries him even further underground."
With this, I was finished and let Soi Fon digest all of what I said, but before she could say anything, I forced a lollipop into her mouth.
She was confused by my action, so I began clarifying.
"You ca here to beat the depression out of , so what's with that sad look. All of what I said is mostly in the past. I co here mostly for sentintal value, so don't you worry. You are too young to worry about ."
Soi Fon was a part of the Stealth Corps, and her hands are not exactly the cleanest, but seeing the always happy-go-lucky guy who often annoys her be in a solemn mood for so long was unsettling, and she probably wanted to sohow cheer up even if she didn't know how. Although my last comnt bothered her.
"We are of similar age..."
"You look more like my kids, though. Any comnts about that?" I smirked, and at the sa ti, Soi Fon's Zanpakuto was centiters away from my throat as I was taking a luxurious sip of my sake. She wouldn't kill , and she knew that I knew that, and that made her even more annoyed.
She then sighed and sheathed her sword.
"You are insufferable."
"That's my charm." I said, a smirk not leaving my face. "But thanks for worrying."
Hearing my earnest thanks, Soi Fon got shy, and I could even see a tint of red on her cheeks.
She's easily embarrassed.
"I-I wasn't worried about you! Yoruichi-sama was the one who asked to check on you! That's all!"
I didn't tease her anymore and took another sip of my sake. Surprisingly, talking with Soi Fon cleared my mind, and while I still don't know what I should do, maybe it's fine. If Yoruichi decides to save Kisuke and Tessai, then I'll respect her decision as much as it hurts to separate from her for a long ti, but it must have ant that Kisuke and Tessai are in her eyes important enough to risk that much. I'll still confront her if she does that to clarify so things.
In the case that it doesn't happen, I'll bail them out myself in disguise while using Gyako. No one should suspect that way, as everyone who's seen using my Zanpakuto knows that it's Zangetsu.
As I prepared what barely counted as a plan, a Hell Butterfly flew to and landed on my finger, relaying a ssage.
So, it begins...
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END
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