Chapter 74
‘I don’t need sothing like that.’
I almost pointed out the contradiction in his words, but I stopped myself. I could imagine how much Darcy must have agonized over those words before saying them.
I had a vague idea of what he was going to say.
"I won’t be going with you to the magician’s village."
His opening words aligned perfectly with what I had anticipated.
Seeing that I wasn’t surprised at all, Darcy nodded.
"I need to keep an eye on Ryan’s unsettling movents and protect the Etwar Marquisate."
But I knew that wasn’t the only reason.
"And more than anything, I need to prepare to welco you properly."
The magicians knew about Darcy’s role in their downfall. Rumors had spread that most of Kyes’ victories were due to Darcy, and they knew who had defeated them.
"Don’t bother trying to change people’s minds. They need soone to bla, and choosing
is a reasonable decision."
After offering this warning, Darcy took hold of my shoulders and spoke clearly.
"Listen to what they have to say about
there. And try living without ."
Even after pouring out his heart, Darcy didn’t dare show his selfishness.
"And if you can still live without , co back and reject my feelings."
…Kyes, who had driven such a thoughtful and kind person to the brink, was truly unforgivable.
I couldn’t begin to imagine the pain Darcy had endured, eroding himself just to survive.
His hands, gripping my shoulders, were trembling. How long had he struggled with these thoughts, carefully choosing his words?
Suppressing the emotions welling up inside , I asked, "What if I don’t want to reject you?"
Darcy blinked. For a mont, his unfocused gaze seed to imagine the mont I would return and accept his feelings.
Then a beautiful smile, as delicate as a snowy night sky, spread across his face.
His lips curled into a long, gentle arc. His cheeks flushed slightly. No painting could be more beautiful than this.
I stared at him, trying to capture every detail of his expression. eting my gaze, Darcy nodded, as if making a vow to himself.
"When that ti cos, I won’t be afraid anymore. I’ll give you everything and hold you completely in my heart."
He let go of my shoulders and gave
a playful look.
"You should know that I’ve rarely had anything of my own, so my desire to possess is very strong."
His voice was soft as he continued.
"And you should also know that the person standing before you now is just a shell."
"A shell? That’s not true."
I didn’t want to exclude any part of him I had seen. I wouldn’t deny the parts of him I had yet to know, either.
Because I understood that all those aspects made him who he was.
Because I knew that loving only one side wasn’t truly loving at all.
He looked at
with an indescribable gaze, filled with sothing between longing and sadness, and then he reached out to
again with a low voice.
"You should prepare yourself too."
"For what?"
"If, after all this, you still like …"
"…"
"I won’t ever let you go."
He clenched his hand tightly, making
feel as though he was holding
in his grasp. I couldn’t help but feel a pang of longing.
I wasn’t usually like this… Seeing Darcy restrain himself for my sake made
want to reach out to him first.
I’m not known for being bold, but he was changing .
‘Should I really say this?’
Finally, I closed my eyes tightly and whispered, "What if, just once, we gave in to our desires?"
I couldn’t see Darcy’s expression because my eyes were closed. I was glad for that.
I added quickly, as if making excuses, "It’s what I want. Unless… you’re not really into that sort of thing…"
I suddenly realized that Darcy might not have the sa desires as most people, and I hastily added more words. But then, Darcy placed a finger on my lips to stop .
"Marceau, open your eyes."
His voice was very close.
When I opened my eyes, I saw his silver hair shimring like a waterfall of light right in front of .
His red eyes burned with fire, while his blue ones glead with cool flas.
"Do you know what you’re saying?"
"…I’m not completely clueless."
I squinted my eyes in a playful glare.
Darcy chuckled lowly at my expression.
"Good."
With a voice as tempting as the devil’s, Darcy murmured as he gently cupped my chin.
"I’ve been more than ready for this."
Darcy’s low laughter was followed by a kiss that claid my lips.
It was our first kiss.
He stole my breath away in an instant, his lips exploring mine.
He was both rough and tender at the sa ti, a contrast to his usual deanor.
Without giving
a chance to breathe, he led
as if he had been waiting for this mont all along. I was helplessly drawn into him.
It was a breath filled with deep desire, so much so that my earlier words seed foolish.
‘…Am I really the first person he’s kissed?’
I pondered this as I recalled the mont I kissed Darcy. But for soone’s first ti, he was too good.
Darcy’s skill didn’t align with the fact that it was his first ti. It was obvious, even to .
‘…I almost misunderstood.’
Maybe it was even deeper because of the nonsense I said in the middle.
I touched my lips and then widened my eyes.
I suddenly rembered there was soone else in the room. I took a deep breath before turning the door handle.
‘…What’s this?’
Tense, I stepped into the room and found Leshan sitting upright at the edge of the bed. She didn’t look comfortable at all.
"…You haven’t even changed your clothes?"
"I didn’t want to do anything first without your permission."
Leshan smiled brightly at , then stiffened as she answered. Her actions were awkward, which I found endearing.
Being with her brought back old mories.
"Change your clothes first."
I pulled out a chemise from the wardrobe that Leshan could wear. We were similar in height and build, so it would fit her well.
"Yes."
Leshan took the clothes I handed her and went to the bathroom to change. She must have been comfortable enough with the outfit to change on her own without help.
"I’ll sleep on the floor, Lady Marceau."
"Why?"
"The bed is big enough."
"…I thought it might be uncomfortable for you, so I wanted to be considerate since I’m already imposing. Was I wrong?"
Leshan looked at
nervously, unable to sit still.
Indeed, the old Leshan would have never considered such a gesture. Her thoughts used to revolve entirely around herself.
After a mont of silence, I praised her.
"It was a good thought."
Leshan’s face lit up with a smile.
"But since I said it’s fine, you can lie down."
Leshan was used to sleeping in a bed. And my bed was large enough for three people. There was no reason for us to feel awkward lying down together.
Leshan shuffled over to the opposite side of the bed. She lay down, staring up at the ceiling with a tense expression. It was strange to see her so stiff.
I was used to seeing her completely relaxed around , acting like herself without any reservations.
I first placed a note on the door to prevent the maids from walking in on us in the morning.
[If you enter, you’re fired.]
Perfect. I then turned off the light and lay down. The bed was so large that I could barely tell Leshan was there beside .
"…Thank you so much for helping , Lady Marceau."
"I only helped because there’s sothing in it for ."
I answered awkwardly. Despite lying on the sa bed and staring at the darkened ceiling, our conversation felt strangely comforting.
The tis when Leshan used to confront , arguing and clashing with , felt like a distant dream.
"Still, I’m glad to see you like this now."
Yes, the Leshan I saw today was definitely easier to deal with. I was glad to see her being considerate and relieved that she still had the sa purity as before.
I felt comforted by the fact that I hadn’t completely changed her.
"Lady Marceau, may I ask you sothing?"
Leshan asked very slowly, as if afraid of being refused. I could tell how she felt without even seeing her face.
"If I… had beco like this sooner, would things have changed between us?"
"…That’s a aningless question. Even if you hadn’t changed, there are still people who love you just the way you are."
I was just one person who had left the heroine’s side.
"But you pointed out what I needed to change, didn’t you?"
She murmured.
"I knew I wasn’t perfect. I was just avoiding the truth."
In a world made for her, no one ever pointed out her flaws or shortcomings.
"I was able to face the parts of myself I had been avoiding thanks to the year I spent with you."
I had resigned myself to the fact that my sincerity couldn’t change anything.
But Darcy had recognized my sincerity, and even Leticia had acknowledged who I truly was.
"I realized how precious your sincerity was."
It had taken a long ti, but Leshan finally understood my sincerity.
"Even though it’s late, I’ve already spoken to Prince Ryan and Captain Kaysen. There won’t be any more fighting because of ."
I had faith that her confident face was one I could trust.
For the first ti since eting Leshan, I had complete confidence in her.
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