Chapter 42
***
lody added a simpler explanation, anticipating that her mother might not have understood her,
“If you keep talking at your own discretion, I’m saying I’ll leave.”
As expected, her mother had not fully grasped lody’s words. The shock of lody threatening to leave seed to have left her mother montarily out of her senses.
“I don’t want to talk about anything else.”
lody felt no need to elaborate on why she didn’t want to receive an apology. She didn’t want to expose her long-held wounds or suffering, nor did she want to see her mother reflecting on her past life anew.
Was it a wicked sentint?
Even if it was, it was fine by her.
“lody, I…”
“I’ve decided to strive to be ordinary.”
It was true that until now, she had been bound by an imperfect past, receiving much ‘sympathy.’
Hadn’t Isaiah just ntioned it too? Didn’t the people of the Duke’s house feel any ‘sympathy’ seeing lody’s situation?
“The only thing you can give
is one thing.”
It was only now that lody felt her heart trembling.
‘My birthday.’
Always dismissed as ‘nothing important,’ she had tried not to be curious about it. But the truth was, she wanted to know so badly.
Every ti children boasted about the gifts they received on their birthdays.
Every ti children shared the cake they received on their birthdays.
Every ti children asked about each other’s birthdays to compare dates and determine who was older or younger.
lody had to keep her mouth shut like a clam and just repeat the words ‘spring, yellow spring flowers’ to herself.
“Please tell
the day I was born.”
After asking her question, lody quietly stared at her mother. She could only blink weakly.
“…Umm.”
It seed she was having so difficulty. lody imdiately had a bad feeling about it.
“lody, it’s just that…”
It sounded like an excuse was about to start. But still, it seed like she was trying to answer lody’s question.
“When I was pregnant with you, I was chased out of the capital…”
That was sothing she had repeatedly ntioned, every ti she got angry or scolded lody. If it weren’t for lody’s birth, she would have been a great rchant in the capital.
“I was completely out of my mind then. No money, nowhere to live.”
The string of excuses naturally seed to invite pity. It must have been hard to live like that while pregnant.
But lody cast aside all such feelings and asked again.
“So, when is it?”
Her mother pressed her lips together tightly, pointlessly gripping and releasing the iron bars repeatedly. After a long while, she answered in a voice that seed to crawl.
“I don’t know… when.”
“…”
Ah, of course.
lody recalled her mother’s situation and personality anew.
At that ti, to her mother, lody was nothing more than a ‘burden’ that got her kicked out of a wealthy household. It probably hadn’t changed even now.
So, it was unlikely that her mother delicately rembered and kept the exact date of the birth of that burden in her mory.
Even though childbirth is supposed to be special.
It was an event that happened only once in her mother’s life, so lody thought maybe her mother might rember the date.
‘It was a vain hope.’
It seed she would have to let the postman choose a fitting day and casually declare it her birthday.
‘She didn’t want it to be that way.’
Because it felt like so regret would remain.
She didn’t want to harbor gloomy thoughts even on a day that should be celebrated fully, troubling those around her.
She had received enough sympathy to be grateful for, and now lody wanted to walk her own good path.
“Understood…”
lody turned around without any lingering attachnt. There was nothing more to see her mother for.
“Just, wait a mont! Are you really going? This could be the last ti you et this mother of yours!”
A panicked voice ca from behind.
“How am I supposed to rember the day you were born! It was hard enough to die for! Quickly, sothing I wanted to forget…! But still, I gave birth to you, right? Isn’t that sothing to be thankful for?”
Despite her mother’s calling, lody did not look back, and her mother rattled the iron bars sowhat roughly.
“It was spring, but it was like painful snow pouring from the sky! People locked their doors and didn’t help, and soldiers on the streets were frightening…! If the last house I knocked on hadn’t opened, you would have died as soon as you were born. Do you understand how hard it was for
because of you, huh?”
Truly an unchanging person. Only her tone and expression softened slightly in the face of death.
In a way, this attitude was sothing lody was thankful for. It allowed her to completely and utterly let go of any expectations she had of her mother.
Before leaving for the last ti, lody glanced back at her mother.
She was yelling sothing fiercely, but surprisingly, none of it reached lody’s ears.
Soon, a knight on the opposite side of the bars stepped forward to restrain her mother. She struggled to break free from the strong grip of the knight, fighting until the end.
lody stared at the scene for a while, then turned around gracefully, bowing lightly.
An elegant, light gesture.
‘Farewell, Mother.’
Perhaps surprised by lody’s polite gesture, usually seen among the wealthy, her mother’s struggle ceased.
And then she began to look at her daughter very strangely, as if she was seeing a different side of lody for the first ti.
Using a greeting thod she hadn’t taught, wearing clothes that obviously looked nice.
“…”
In the quiet space where her mother’s heavy breathing could be heard, the ti they spent staring at each other stretched a bit longer.
But that was all.
lody couldn’t understand what her mother’s gaze was trying to convey at all.
Likewise, her mother never truly understood what was in lody’s heart.
They had always been such a family, so it couldn’t be helped.
lody was the first to look away. She felt her mother’s persistent gaze beyond her field of vision but didn’t look back.
Beyond the door, Claude was seen leaning against the wall of the corridor, waiting for lody in an ‘uncomfortable posture.’
Truly a peculiar person.
lody tightened her grip on her dress and managed to walk away from her mother’s gaze.
Her steps were sowhat heavy, as if sothing was trying to hold her back.
“Co here.”
Suddenly, Claude spoke, still leaning against the wall.
“Co this way. Then I’ll take you.”
Take her where? Of course, lody’s destination was the ‘carriage’ and the ‘Duke’s house.’
But it felt like Claude was implying sothing more than just that.
So, lody approached where he wanted and replied.
“I’m fine.”
“You’re brave even now.”
He smiled wryly and started walking ahead.
It seed like they were heading back to the carriage, so lody silently followed him.
On the way, lody looked around, hoping to encounter the knights or Isaiah, but unfortunately, there was no such opportunity.
Since they had been instructed to keep Isaiah ‘safely’ until a decision was made, nothing bad should happen. Still, she was worried about his feelings.
Upon returning to the mansion, Loretta and Ronny, who had been stacking stones in the entrance, greeted them. It seed they had been collecting chestnuts, waiting for them to return.
Soon, the servants brought in the roasted chestnuts, and Loretta ate the steaming yellow flesh quite cutely, repeatedly saying how hot it was.
***
As the night ca faster with the changing seasons, the Duke of Baldwin also returned to the mansion. While he was checking urgent matters organized by the butler, a faint knocking sound ca from the office door.
Thinking, ‘This must be lody’s knock,’ the Duke opened the door, and indeed, it was lody standing there.
“I’m sorry to disturb you when you’re busy. I just wanted to say I’m back safely.”
The child added another ‘I’m sorry’ to the Duke’s heart.
“I’ve heard the news.”
lody flinched slightly at the Duke’s response, probably because he was referring to ‘Isaiah.’
“Your Grace, Isaiah is not at fault. Please don’t punish him.”
“I heard that squire interfered with what you were trying to do.”
“But that’s because I’ve been entrusting him with important matters for a long ti…”
“Important matters?”
“I neglected to protect myself. I’ve decided not to do that anymore, but Isaiah didn’t know. In the village, he always protected .”
“Apparently.”
The Duke opened the door wide, inviting lody into his office.
“It seems you haven’t had enough ti to talk with that squire boy.”
lody nodded in agreent.
There was a lot to catch up on with Isaiah, but she hadn’t been able to have a proper conversation because she was preoccupied with writing letters to his mother, Mary.
Isaiah didn’t know the current lody, and lody didn’t know the current Isaiah.
“I saw my mother’s eyes today.”
lody recalled the incident in the prison. Despite living together for years, lody and her mother didn’t truly know each other.
“It seems we didn’t understand each other. Maybe the sa happened with Isaiah.”
“That’s right. You’ll need ti.”
“Yes.”
“Alright. I won’t impose a severe punishnt on him.”
“…So, will you impose a minor punishnt?”
“It would be better for that squire boy. It seems he’s aware that he did sothing forbidden.”
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