Chapter 145
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But the mont their eyes t, as Mrs. Higgins turned to face her, lody found herself at a loss for words.
“I’m sorry.”
A soft apology reached her ears in that stillness. lody stood up from her seat without realizing it, for those apologetic words had co from Mrs. Higgins’ lips.
“Huh…what?!”
What could her mother possibly be apologizing to lody for? It was lody who had done wrong.
“…Perhaps I…”
Unlike the flustered lody who could not articulate a response, Mrs. Higgins calmly continued speaking.
“Must have frightened you.”
“That…that…”
Unable to properly deny it, lody could only repeat those sa words haltingly.
“…I’m sorry.”
And when her mother apologized again, lody made a startling realization – she could sense deep pain on Mrs. Higgins’ expression as she spoke those words.
lody felt an odd epiphany.
‘…Mother gets hurt too.’
Though it should have been obvious, it felt strangely unfamiliar to her.
Looking back across her previous life and this one, ‘parents’ had always possessed trendous power – enough to make lody’s entire existence either wretched or blissful in an instant.
Sowhere along the way, lody had unconsciously developed a misconception about parents being impervious, never hurt or shaken by anything.
But with a little more thought, parents were just human, just like their children. They too experienced hurt, doubted themselves…ordinary people.
“No…”
Shaking her head, lody approached Mrs. Higgins.
“I was…I was the one in the wrong! You did nothing bad at all, Mother.”
Even as lody spoke those honest words, her mother shook her head, seeming unconvinced by lody’s claims.
“Really, it was all my fault. I couldn’t even give you proper notice. The truth is…”
lody trailed off briefly. Now that she thought about it, her inability to contact her mother had indeed stemd from fear.
But revealing that so bluntly felt like it might only hurt her further.
“You don’t need to force yourself,” Mrs. Higgins replied wearily, as if sensing lody’s struggle.
“…I know.”
Her gaze briefly turned towards the window. Though an ordinary glance, it was enough to startle the servants passing by outside.
They quickly bowed deeply to Mrs. Higgins before scurrying away in a fluster. Watching their reactions, she let out a long sigh.
She likely had not intended to frighten the servants at all. But within the mansion, rumors about Mrs. Higgins only portrayed her as terrifying, so anyone who crossed her path would naturally react that way.
‘But…I…’
lody bit her lip firmly. While she too had found her mother intimidating at tis, she had never felt the urge to flinch away or flee from her presence.
“The truth is, Mother…”
lody studied Mrs. Higgins’ expression as she clenched her hands tightly. Her eyes were still full of sorrow.
“I was the one in the wrong. I won’t do such a thing again. I never imagined my actions could hurt you like this…”
“…Not really.”
With a deep sigh, Mrs. Higgins shook her head slowly.
“It’s not your actions that hurt . What truly upsets
is…”
She trailed off, shifting her gaze as if debating whether to voice her full thoughts to lody.
“Please, tell !” lody pleaded earnestly, not wanting her to hold back.
Mrs. Higgins gave her head a slight shake, as if chastising herself.
“You…deserve…”
More than half of what she said next was re mouthed motions rather than audible words, likely due to her hesitation.
But lody could discern her intended aning from the mouthed shapes alone.
‘You deserve to have a loving mother…’
Mrs. Higgins gave an awkward laugh and added, “Actually, anyone would deserve that.”
“But since you’re my daughter, I suppose I especially wish I could give that to you. How strange.”
She let out a soft chuckle at her own contradictory words.
“When all I need to do is simply be a loving mother…Yet that seems to evade .”
And so her words had circled back to the original point.
“I’m sorry. That I would even say such things to you…”
With a sha-filled expression, she shook her head repeatedly.
To be honest, Mrs. Higgins had harbored feelings of guilt towards lody for quite so ti now. Just thinking about how her poor upbringing under that neglectful birth mother must have been so difficult pained her heart. How had she then ended up adopted as the daughter of this ill-tempered woman as well?
She had always intended to treat lody with as much kindness as possible…
But sohow, the words that tumbled from her mouth were invariably laced with harsh roughness instead.
Given the circumstances, when lody had left the mansion without a word, Mrs. Higgins had assud it was entirely her own fault as a failed parent that had driven her to such actions.
“Don’t dwell on it.”
She forcibly smoothed her features back into a stern expression. While she had just admitted lody needed a loving mother, she could not simply refrain from disciplining a child’s misbehavior.
“In any case…you must never leave on your own like that again.”
“…Yes.”
The hesitant reply made Mrs. Higgins abruptly turn away towards the window once more.
“Alright then, you can go now.”
“……”
But lody remained still behind her. Should she prompt her to leave again?
Mrs. Higgins briefly considered it before deciding against it.
“Um…”
Soon, lody’s uncertain voice ca from behind her. However, she did not respond right away, worried she might say sothing regrettable or make another lantable remark to lody.
“…Mother?”
Despite lody’s continued attempts, Mrs. Higgins remained silent.
‘The poor dear is fretting over my moods again.’
With another deep sigh, she started to tell lody to return to her room instead. Or at least, she had intended to.
“I’m alright now, so…”
But her words trailed off midway. lody had closed the distance and firmly embraced her from behind.
“…?!”
Caught completely off guard, Mrs. Higgins could not utter a word – she even montarily forgot to breathe.
Soon, lody’s soft cheek ca to rest against her shoulder.
“I’m sorry, Mother. I’m not sure how to explain properly.”
The quiet voice carried a tinge of tears.
‘Good heavens, I made the child cry.’
Feeling faint, Mrs. Higgins grasped lody’s hands resting on her waist.
That small gesture seed to give lody so courage, as she said sothing remarkable.
“…I love you, Mother.”
Those simple words of confession rang with astonishing sincerity. The warmth lody’s voice and touch conveyed only reinforced their truth.
“I really, really love you.”
And yet, as if worried those words might not reach her mother’s heart, lody went so far as to repeat them again insistently.
“I’m sorry for leaving without permission.”
“……”
“I was afraid of being scolded upon returning. But more than that…”
lody’s face burrowed deeper into her mother’s shoulder.
“…What scared
most was you no longer loving .”
“Good heavens!”
With a sharp inhalation, Mrs. Higgins imdiately spun around and embraced lody tightly.
“You foolish little lamb! Where did you get such an absurd notion…Oh for heaven’s sake!”
As was her habit, she began by scolding brusquely before quickly backtracking with an excuse.
“I-I’m not angry.”
Of course, there was one more excuse she ought to give regarding lody’s words:
‘What scared
most was you no longer loving .’
While Mrs. Higgins had stated such a thing could never happen, that was not entirely true. lody had already experienced precisely that from her birth mother.
So it was only natural for the child to have such fears…
Yet she had so harshly dismissed them.
“lody.”
Carefully, Mrs. Higgins cupped lody’s cheek in her palm. Her eyes were watery, lips tightly pressed together – she seed to be struggling not to cry.
“Oh dear, your lips must hurt from biting them so hard.”
“……”
At her prodding, lody finally relaxed the pressure on her tightly clenched mouth. With both hands, Mrs. Higgins gently brushed lody’s lips and face, examining carefully for any injuries with a concerned gaze.
“Moth…er.”
When lody called out in a choked voice, the tears she had been holding back finally spilled over, seeping through the spaces between Mrs. Higgins’ warm fingers.
Watching the sight intently, she shook her head slowly as she replied.
“…No matter what mischief you cause, that will never happen.”
“Huh?”
The teary question made Mrs. Higgins retrieve a handkerchief, tenderly wiping lody’s face as she answered.
“ no longer loving you.”
“…Really?”
“Yes. You could spread honey all over this entire mansion – I would still never stop loving you.”
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