’Food, no, baby wipes, no, weapons armor…where is it…’ I thought while rummaging through the multiple tabs of my inventory until finally…
"AHA!" I half shouted, half-whispered while withdrawing a long, rolled-up unit of heavily braided rope.
My muscles tensed as I lifted the coil almost the size of my body and dropped it beside on the ground with a soft THUNK.
’Alright, what’s the best way to do this? Instance rock is notoriously hard to chip, so it’s not like I can go all rock-climber and use a grappling…hook…’ Glancing down at the neatly coiled rope and back up to the two-foot-wide crevice in the ceiling, a plan began forming in my mind.
’That might work…but my strength isn’t high enough,’ squinting my eyes, I noticed a small stone face jutting out of the crevice about seven inches long.
Plopping down on the ground beside my rope, I quickly undid the bindings, keeping it secure and tightly wound before gripping the end and examining it carefully.
Next, I went into my inventory for a second ti and pulled out the extra pair of boots before depositing them on the floor and moving on to the next item.
Soon enough, I had a bunch of items that roughly weighed about as much as my body, along with a camping backpack, and began loading it all inside.
Once the backpack was loaded with all it could handle, I fastened the rope through the handle of the backpack and then down through both the straps, followed by knotting it several tis over with a constrictor knot, *one of the most secure and effective binding Knotts.*
’Thankfully, I don’t weigh much, or else this idea would fail miserably; still, 40-ish pounds isn’t too bad; it’s at least manageable with my Physical Offense.’ I thought as I uncoiled the rope carefully and then picked up my backpack to test how heavy it was.
’Now, what’s the best way to go about this? Clearly, I have to get it up and around the little ledge…’ Glancing around the tunnel for a better vantage point, I couldn’t co up with anything solid, so I did the most obvious idea and began hurling the backpack into the air.
At first, I executed so low tosses, catching the backpack and then imdiately throwing it up a little higher. Still, with each increase in height, I noticed the strain building in my shoulders, back, and biceps, making frown until I stopped and placed my backpack on the ground again.
’It’s too high up…’ The reason I did so light tosses was to test my physical strength with the weight of the pack, and after a couple of tries, I determined the Maximum height I could lob the backpack was, at best, 30 feet, aka about 15 feet short of my goal.
’Shit…next plan.’ Reaching down and scooping up the backpack, I slung it over my left shoulder, then grabbed the coiled rope before positioning it on my right shoulder.
’Tsk, it’s heavier than I thought,’ I grumbled as I made my way over to the wall closest to the crevice above, but I didn’t stay there long; unfurling the rope and letting it drag on the ground, I kept looking from the crevice to the wall and back.
Placing my back against the wall, I proceeded to slowly walk forward, putting one foot directly in front of the other, asuring out how many steps it was from the wall to my hopeful hidey-hole.
’18 steps,’ stopping right under the crevice, I dropped a quarter uncoiled rope on the ground and took a couple of slow, deep breaths.
’SUPER SECRET…’ Crouching down and assuming a runner stance, I positioned myself on a collision course with the tunnel wall.
’DARK SECRET…’ Pushing off on my left leg, I exploded into motion and ran full speed at the wall.
’AWESO ANCIENT TECHNIQUE!!!’ Counting down each step I made while sprinting.
Four Steps, Three Steps…two…one.
’WALL RUN OF EPICNESS!’ I scread in my mind as I pushed off the ground with all my might, jumped into the air, and ran up the wall.
The goal was to cut down the difference between my full-strength throw and the ceiling, and the thod I devised was…my super secret, dark secret, aweso ancient technique…ok, it’s a dumb na, but I was mainly trying to hype myself up.
With each step I took up the wall, I felt my forward montum slowing down, and after six verticle steps, I kicked away from the wall with every bit of strength in my legs, slung my backpack from my shoulder into my hand, spun it around like a pendulum, and released….
Only to have it all go wrong from there.
Frankly, my execution would have been perfect had the fucking rope not wrapped around my leg accidentally when I kicked off the wall, entangling not one of my legs but both…so instead of seeing the vision of my backpack flying through the air, instead I found myself along for the ride, as the 40-ish pound backpack hurtled through the air.
’FUCKKKKK!’ I scread with my eyes locked onto the target.
Amazingly enough, even through all that, I sohow hit my target; it’s just that instead of the backpack looping around the rock and falling back to the ground, sohow, the strap caught on it.
Thirty seconds later, I found myself hanging upside down, 30 feet off the ground, wondering where I went wrong with my carefully and perfectly executed plan.
’hehhhh, FUCK!’ dangling there like a helpless rabbit stuck in a trap, I flailed about angrily.
I probably would have continued the act, too…if I hadn’t heard a sound that made my heart sink.
Each ti I moved, a faint shredding sound ca from above, and it didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that my angy-thrashing was causing the strap of my backpack to fray and shred.
Thankfully, my keen perception picked the sound up, causing my tense body to go limp suddenly.
’Alright, that’s enough temper tantrum, let’s get out of this ss.’ Carefully, I bent my body at a 90-degree angle in a perfect ab crunch, grabbed the rope, and began unwrapping it from my legs.
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