Tears stread down my cheeks as my knees scraped against the cold, rugged ground.
I couldn't describe my happiness at this mont.
It took 18 years for to reach this step. For the past 18 years, it was nothing but continuous struggle. But, finally, I reached my goal.
Finally, I…
"I am dead!"
It was a pain off my shoulders!
Hooray! Who knew death could be this comforting!
"Cease these foolish acts, this instant, mortal! We have allowed you to choose–because your karmic value is null–not because we wish to witness such tomfoolery." A distinct voice entered my ears.
❖ Heaven
❖ Hell
❖ ???
A blue screen buzzed in front of , as if telling to get done with it.
Lifting my head, I scanned my surroundings. This was the place I found myself in after my death.
Dressed in white clothes, and standing in front of the Judges of Afterlife, behind was a long line of deceased souls, while in front of was sothing I could only describe as a portal.
'Is that my neighbor, Mrs. Abaca? She looks hot even in death.'
Noticing a few familiar faces, the last monts of my previous life replayed in my mind.
'An asteroid–that was supposed to pass by earth–suddenly changed its course and crashed into the moon, tumbling the moon towards earth and ultimately wiping out humanity.'
Surprisingly enough, the notion of death wasn't scary. Maybe I wasn't afraid because this was the 2nd ti I died?
'How did I die the 1st ti, again?'
As I tried to rekindle those hazy mories, I realized I could barely recall anything from my 1st – my original – life. It seems spending 18 years in a new world and a new identity had affected a lot.
"Choose your destination."
The voice of the head Judge echoed again, hurrying to make a choice.
"Heav—"
"Rejected"
My lips twitched at the swift rejection.
"Why? Isn't it an option here?"
The judge at the helm of the Jury gave a long look. When I thought I wouldn't be receiving an answer, he pushed his glasses over his round, hairy snot and grunted.
"Overpopulation. Heaven has beco too crowded. You should have co early if you wanted to go there."
…Did he just say I should've died earlier?
'Huh, is it okay for a judge to suggest suicide?'
Looking at the options, I thought hard and decided. "Then… Hell?"
The last option was not explained, but I knew about it. It had a low chance of reincarnation—and having learnt my lesson from 2nd life—I wasn't going to choose that option ever again!
Reincarnation sucks!
Repeat with — Reincarnation sucks!
I'd rather suffer in Hell!
'How bad can it be?'
The head jury played with his whiskers and hit the table with his hamr. "Before you can sign up for Hell, you'll need to do a compulsory tour."
Thwap—!
My vision flew out of my body and I saw people. A lot of people.
They were undergoing their punishnt on River Agony and Suffering while being whipped by red-skin humans with horns.
But there was sothing wrong here.
"Ah~ More~"
"Harder~"
"Yes~ Just like that~"
"Harder!~ Harder!~"
The sinners were crying with blissful expressions. Rather, the horned beings were the ones suffering ntal damage thanks to their eccentric personalities.
Thawp—!
"Do you want to go there?" My vision flew back into my body and the head Judge asked again, this ti rubbing his soft furry cheeks. "Centuries of punishnt sses with the heads of people going there. You will also beco like that in a few decades."
My hair stood on ends.
Hell no!
"Can I die again?"
"Why don't you choose the third option? You might reincarnate and, if you are lucky, you will get one blessing." Amused, the Judge with the appearance similar to a goat spoke.
While the rat-like Judge, the head of the Jury, read sothing on air and nodded to himself, "An unfortunate accident, indeed. But fret not, the likelihood of the sa possibility is near impossible."
'But not zero.' I muttered in my mind.
The other 41 Judges, sensing sothing amiss, conjured my life report.
"No wonder he is refusing…"
"He was reincarnated as a retard heh…"
"With his mories of an adult and the brain of a child, it must have been hard to live…"
"Oho? He even ate shit, thinking it was desert? I can see why he doesn't want to…"
So looked at with pity, so mocked while most were amused, but ultimately, they lost interest in a few seconds.
"It doesn't matter. Mortal, you need to make a choice…"
BOOOM—!
"There you are, you bastard! What were you saying about my novel!"
A bewitching voice that could make anyone swoon interrupted the judge, followed by one of the walls of the hall being blown to smithereens.
Realizing that the voice I heard before I died was the sa, I sneaked away while I could. The voice belonged to the 'God' who brought the moon down as Divine Punishnt.
"Where are you running?"
Sadly, my body was held in an airtight prison as the 'God', aka author of the novel I cussed on the daily basis, caught .
"Cough cough, My Lady, w…what are you doing here?"
The head Judge was scrambling to find his glasses, but the 'God' dismissed him casually. "I'm taking him."
"But that person has to go through the cycle of nirvana. Even if it's you, we can't allow that, my lady."
'Tell her! Go! If you succeed, I'll give you an extra large cheese slice!'
"That goes agains—" He turned to with narrowed eyes. "As you wish, my lady. I'll handle the matters on our side."
T-this rat betrayed !
'Forget cheese, I'll use a rat trap next ti!'
—————
Tak– tak–
Staring down at , the 'God' tapped the armrest occasionally.
She was the very embodint of celestial grace and beauty. Her long, flowing hair was the color of soft rose, shimring in the light of the heavens. It cascaded down her back and over her shoulders in loose, ethereal waves, framing her delicate features with an otherworldly glow.
Her gown was as white as the clouds that floated above, billowing around her in a gentle breeze that seed to be of her own making. It flowed like a river of silk, trailing behind her in a long, majestic train. Her wings were the color of freshly fallen snow, with feathers that seed to shimr in the light, catching every hue of the spectrum in their iridescence.
'See what I did there?'
That's the useless description talent I learned from thousands of novels! Fear my greatness, mortals!
"-loine, what are you going to do with him?" Behind the Goddess was a white-haired boy roughly around my age, my age in my 2nd life that is.
With an air of arrogance around her, loine spoke with a smile that didn't reach her eyes.
"Dear Reader 'SmarterThanEinstein', you comnted daily on my web-novel, didn't you? I must say all of your comnts were very 'encouraging'."
"The comnts weren't that bad."
Weren't the readers free to express their opinions?
They were!
A passion of indignation was set ablaze in my heart… but then I recalled how I died and doused those flas.
Mind you, I wasn't afraid! This was only a temporary retreat!
ραпdα nᴏνa| сom Yes, it was a tactical retreat!
lione read a few of my comnts.
"Ew, this protagonist… there should be a limit to emo."
"Author, are you dumb? He can level up and has regressed once, but he can't beat a low-level boss? Ptui! Useless Protagonist and useless author."
"No way, no… way… does he think he can kill a 'Dev' with the power of friendship? Dude, use your System!"
"Author is an idiot. His imagination is smaller than a newborn's little brother."
"Author is maidenless and fatherless. That must be wh–"
"S-stop it, sis." The boy behind her turned beet red.
See, the comnts weren't that bad!
"Isn't it enough?" I gathered my courage. "You killed everyone. That should be more than enough."
Unlike what the news declared, the collision of the asteroid and moon wasn't an accident.
How did I know this?
Before the asteroid changed its course, I received a ssage that said:
[For your cris of infuriating this Goddess, your entire race shall receive Divine Punishnt and perish!
-The Author of Re:Apocalypse]
The text ssages weren't supposed to have voice content but, at that mont, I took it as a harmless prank and laughed it off.
"Of course not"
The goddess flung a piece of paper at with a smirk.
"Choose your thod of reincarnation."
❖ Gacha
❖ Wish
Gacha ant reincarnating with a random high-tier 'blessing'.
By taking the second option, one can receive anything they wish for. Yes, A.N.Y.T.H.I.N.G.
Infinite mana, a system, necromancer blessing, waifus, supre talent, you can ask for anything!
The catch was, whatever you ask for will be degraded by at least a hundred folds to make it 'fair'.
Of course, I was given the sa choices in the past.
'Goddarnit! I'm not doing this again!'
"You'll be reincarnated inside my novel." She was smiling mockingly, but excited nonetheless. "Dear reader, if it is you, you should be able to do better than my 'stupid' and 'edgy' protagonist."
Color drained rapidly from my face at the thought of reincarnating into that novel.
"You d-don't an I will be reincarnated into 'Re:SSS Rank Gar in Apocalypse', do you?"
Divine punishnt!
Dare I say, to live in that hellish novel was worse than a divine punishnt!
For what? I cursed the Author?
How was I supposed to know the author was a God!?
Rather, she should treat lavishly! I was the only one who read that dumb novel!
'I must convince her otherwise before she reincarnates !'
"About the curses. They aren't my fault." I couldn't help but grit my teeth as I recalled my life. "This was my 2nd life, but I was born with the thinking capacity of a child, unable to tell right from wrong. It's the fault of the angel who reincarnated !"
Because the angel ssed up, I lived my life as a dimwit.
What proof did I have?
'I read that damned novel! Why would a sane person do that?'
"What blasphemy! Blaming angels of—"
"Continue" loine cut off the white haired boy and threatened . "If what you are saying is true, we will compensate you reasonably. A fault with angels is a serious issue. But if you are lying…"
Cccrack–
The armrest turned into dust at her re touch.
I spoke with a firm tone, "The third option from the cycle of nirvana has a small chance of reincarnation. But reincarnation is guaranteed if you have an angel's help."
lione nodded at my words while barely suppressing her increasing excitent and beckoned to continue.
She seed greatly excited by the fact she was going to reincarnate soone inside her novel.
"The angel's job is to set paraters for reincarnation. But the one with didn't take her job seriously!"
Only now I was realizing that the life I lived was worse than animals, and that angel was responsible for that!
And this wasn't all! Speaking the next words made my blood boil.
"What was that 'Oh Saviour, please save our world' crap! All she did was, reincarnating in a world without mana!"
I was tricked, fooled, and completely bamboozled!
'I swear if I ever get to et that beetch again, I'll make her pay dearly for it!'
Talk about being unfair! I had the strongest ability, but it was a world without mana!
A Normal World!
And as an icing on top, they turned into a moron!
What part of reincarnation was lucky!?
"Hmm? Did I say sothing wrong?"
Raising my head, I noticed loine and the boy staring at with strange expressions.
"Was that angel…" loine turned to the boy with furrowed brows. "..?"
The boy looked away and nodded. "He was the one you reincarnated half-heartedly after father kicked you out of the house."
My mind blanked.
'Beetch'
And my mouth moved on its own.
"I will choose the 2nd thod and my wish is…"
Raising my arm, I pointed at lione.
"Reincarnate with ."
Sohow, I was now looking forward to reincarnating.
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