Step-!!
Laura finally had so free ti for herself after she finished handing over the supplies to the troops under Prince Raymond. However, after belatedly receiving news about Ferzen, she quickly walked to the infirmary.
If it was designed this elaborately……
Laura could only shake her head as she was able to guess just how much hardships and how rough the elental wizards under Prince Raymond had gone through.
Obviously, rather than simply interfering with a wide area,
It took more magic power and precision to refine a particular shape even if the area was small.
In fact, even if it was possible for soone to create small flowers by interfering with the earth, those with knowledge about it tended to live at a very high level.
In the simple infirmary, which was built with even more effort than the barracks where the Second Prince Raymond lived—small surgeries were being perford with the injured soldiers receiving delicate nursing care while lying down.
It’s spacious.
Due to her stuttering nature, Lizzy wanted to go to Ferzen's room without asking anyone if possible.
However, after thinking that wouldn't be possible, Laura asked a nearby dic, limping on her way, and opened the door to the hospital room where Ferzen was lying.
It was only then did she saw Ferzen lying down while receiving the saline solution. Yuriel was sleeping quietly next to him with only her upper body occupying the bed.
Even though the fatigue that she had accumulated shouldn’t be as much as what the soldiers on the front line did, it should still be quite considerable. So it was not surprising that she would feel drowsy.
You brat…… You have beco a very pathetic man in the ti I was unable to see you.
The sll that ca from Ferzen could not be masked by the unique sll of the hospital room.
It was neither his body odor nor was it the sll of a patient. It slled strongly of alcohol.
However, the foolish sight of a person of Ferzen's calibre relying on alcohol to the extent of ruining his own body was, surprisingly, quite familiar to Laura.
In her past life, she often got drunk because she couldn't find the ans to overco her curse.
In short, the reason he was in his current state was just like her in her previous life.
Did he face a problem he couldn’t solve...…
Laura guessed so.
It was the truth of the world that people with a particularly strong ego like him and her, had never felt disappointed or frustrated about anything.
You have lost a lot of weight.
Laura approached Ferzen quietly in order to not wake Yuriel and stretched out her small, delicate hand to carefully touch his face.
The sight of him so emaciated to the point that his trademark chiselled jawline beca so pronounced, naturally made her feel sorry for him.
Throb-!
That was probably the reason why.
Feeling like a part of her heart was being ripped apart, Laura closed her eyes as she placed her forehead against the forehead of the sleeping Ferzen.
The helplessness that she felt for not being able to do anything to help, even though the man she loved was suffering, was surprisingly painful.
After all, the difficult problems that people like them faced were problems that could not be solved by mortal hands.
No matter how hard they tried, in the end all that was left for them was a miserable middle ground.
No, it would be considered to be fortunate if there was at least a definite middle ground for people like them.
Even for her, Ferzen was her middle ground in this life.
If she hadn't t him, she would have killed herself and put an end to her life once again.
Unlike in my past life……
Aren’t there a lot of people around you?
Whispering that at least he would get the support that could provide a compromise that would not collapse, Laura opened her eyes and kissed Ferzen on the lips.
If……
The mont ca when he was unable to find the middle ground and he had to let go of everything he had,
I will beco your final destination.
Sowhere on the edge of the world, as you said before the war began–where the sun never sets.
I will take care of you who was at rock bottom and cried…… until the day I die.
That was why Laura hoped that Ferzen would quickly regain his strength and get up from his hospital bed.
If you don’t……
She was afraid that she might kill Ferzen, who was so weakened, with her own hands.
After all, the full moon would co to visit very soon.
It was enough for her to receive the title ‘Witch’ that she did not want in her previous life.
Laura stretched her index finger and gently poked Ferzen’s cheek as she hoped that she would not get the title of ‘Succubus’ for killing the man she loved.
* * * * *
“……”
As his damaged electrolytes were rebalanced by the saline solution, Ferzen, who had enjoyed a long night's sleep, opened his eyes and quietly looked around.
No matter how much help he received from the saline solution, his dizziness and helplessness still did not go away.
Still, as his complexion had improved a lot and he felt more stable, he let out a comfortable breath and gently lifted his left arm where the needle was inserted.
However, the mont he saw that his empty right arm quickly bothered him.
His obsessive-compulsive disorder that was stimulated because of that naturally made him recall Lizzy's curse, which was obscured by a dazed and helpless feeling.
……Ferzen then removed the needle stuck in his left arm and gave up the idea of putting it into the vein in his right arm.
If he didn't distract himself with another obsession in front of him, he felt like he would be helpless against Lizzy's curse that relentlessly gnawed at his mind.
However, this kind of action would only be a temporary asure.
Even if soone were to give candy to a lost child and comfort them, they would only stop crying for a mont. The child would soon start crying again as they looked for their mother.
In other words, diverting his attention from it with this kind of action would one day reach its limit.
It could be said that the curse would develop an immunity for his way.
For now, it was possible to distract his attention from the curse that Lizzy carved into him to so extent. But if he kept doing this, he would have to distract himself with an even stronger stimulation...…
However, once it finally reaches a level where he cannot handle it anymore, it would be like going back to square one.
That's why he spent his ti in a half-conscious state with the help of alcohol.
To be honest, such a life could not be called normal.
Has a lot of ti passed……
The thick darkness that was visible beyond the small window of his room told him that night had already fallen.
Rattle-!!
"Ah……”
At that mont, Yuriel, who had opened the door to the shabby hospital room and entered while holding a bowl of soup with a delicious sll, widened her eyes as soon as she saw him.
Halt-!
Instinctively, her body tried to run as fast as possible to instantly narrow the short distance between them. However, when she belatedly realized that she was holding onto a plate full of warm soup, she stopped sowhat awkwardly before slowly walking toward the bed.
“H-how is……your body? I was about to wake you up to make sure that you at least eat this, but luckily you woke up first.”
“My body has improved a lot. You should not worry about it. And…… I’m sorry.”
“……”
“Aren’t you hurt, Yuriel?”
"Eung…… I’m not hurt. Don’t worry about , just fill your empty stomach a little before the soup gets cold.”
When he looked at Yuriel offering soup to him along with the spoon, Ferzen took it without rejecting it.
Currently, his throat was still stinging, and as the soup was made from milk, after eating it a few tis, his stomach felt bloated……
However, when Ferzeen noticed that Yuriel was looking at him with a sad expression, he quickly stuffed his mouth with the remaining soup in one swoop.
After that, Yuriel handed him so dicine along with lukewarm water.
“If possible, you should not smoke anymore.”
“You don’t have to treat like a child that was sent to the river.”
“……It might be better if that was the case.”
If it was just a child playing by the river, all the variables could be blocked as long as they kept an eye on the child.
Even if an incident was to occur, they would at the very least be able to react quickly.
However, Yuriel couldn't even figure out what she could do for Ferzen now, so she just let the frustration she had been suppressing out.
“I have heard the news about you killing Lizzy.’
“Is that so?”
With no intention to deny it,
And with no intention to hide anything, Ferzen responded calmly and continued his words.
No, he was not calm at all.
The fact that he could not make eye contact properly with her was an indication that he's afraid.
“Are you feeling disillusioned by , Yuriel?”
“If I was going to feel disillusioned by you, I would have felt it a long ti ago.”
Yuriel herself knew that she had no right to criticize Ferzen on the matters related to Lizzy.
Even though she knew the whole story, she had decided by her own volition to beco this man's wife.
On top of that, she also did sothing cruel to the child who was standing on the edge.
However……
“The reason I'm this sad is……”
The reason he went so far as to get his hands dirty must have been for the sake of a better life.
However, why was the man sitting in front of her, whom she had reunited with living a worse life than before and not a better one?
That’s right, Yuriel wasn't just sad that Ferzen had dirtied his hands more by killing Lizzy.
She felt hurt to know that the only result he got after getting his hands dirty so much was to be in this state.
“When I asked you that ti about whether or not I would be of any help to you…… I was actually afraid to ask you that because I think I would feel helpless after hearing your answer.”
“…… ”
“But that might not be the right direction. So, Ferzen.”
“…… ”
“Can you tell …… The reason why you are suffering so much?”
Her hands, which were tightly clasped together, were covered in cold sweat while embracing each other affectionately.
Seeing that, Ferzen put the empty plate aside and opened his mouth.
“It’s karma.”
“Karma……”
“There’s nothing to think about, Yuriel. No matter how much I struggled and wriggled. In the end, I couldn’t overco the wall of being a third-rate villain.”
“……”
“It’s not in the territory where I can receive help or wish for help…… This is purely sothing I have to bear.”
Of course, even though it might be difficult for anyone to relate to it,
There was a reason and circumstances behind the evil deeds he committed.
However, a sword is a lethal weapon.
Just as swordsmanship is the art of killing.
To protect soone, you have to kill soone.
And to save soone, you have to cut soone down.
Just as the essence could not be changed, no matter what the cause was,
The path he had taken as a villain was probably no different than that.
“But in my eyes……! I don't think you can handle it...…”
“Is that so?”
His extrely weak appearance had been discovered.
So, what was the aning of hiding it?
“Your sight has beco really sharp, Yuriel.”
Ferzen looked at her with a wry smile as he said that.
“It’s certainly difficult for to bear this karma.”
"Ah…… ”
"If I were confident I could hide my feelings, I might offer you so ager comfort here... But I'm not even sure I can overco this, so I deeply regret my past greed. If it was going to end up like this, I wonder if it would have been better to remain in an uncomfortable and awkward relationship with my elder brother, or if I should have lived alone without knowing the happiness of building a family with you all. I can't stop thinking that perhaps soone like shouldn't have beco a symbol of the improved relationship between the royal family, who had long felt indebted to Brutein, and its subjects."
“……”
"But that doesn't an I'm going to just give up. I will fight as hard as I can, as long as it is in my power to do so."
But as Roer, Cesar and Lizzy had said.
As much as humans holding onto a happiness that they were not worthy of.
There is nothing uglier in this world than the sight of humans struggling not to lose it.
“It will be quite a long way from the happiness you were looking for in your life with . There may be more days where you cry rather than laugh, you may accumulate more regrets than mories, and you may find yourself longing for the past countless tis rather than looking forward to the future.”
That was why,
"If there ever cos a ti when you can't stand to be around , it's okay to leave...... Yuriel."
“Don’t say such stupid words……!”
Squeeze-!!
As soon as she heard all Ferzen had to say, Yuriel stood up without a mont of hesitation and hugged Ferzen's body as if she wanted to crush it.
Ferzen's words asking her to remain by his side as much as possible, even though he knew it would be painful and unhappy, made her happy as it once again reminded her just how important she had beco to him.
But at the sa ti, she also felt like she would burst into tears at any mont because of the rush of sadness that she felt.
That's because humans will not accept it, no matter how logical and rational a situation was, if they do not understand it.
Therefore, the fact that Ferzen left the choice of ending their relationship entirely to her will was probably evidence that he was already certain that they would be separated.
“It is too late for you to be selfless, so stop…… The Ferzen I know is a person who would not let the other person go and keep them by his side even though they were tired of his ugly and dirty appearance and said they wanted to leave.”
“……”
"So go ahead and be shaless, you're supposed to be afraid of not having by your side, not being hurt and struggling due to your karma......!"
In the first place, saying that they were going to do everything they could as long as there was soone beside them was akin to saying,
They were going to take their own life the mont there was no one left beside them.
As such……
“If you were really going to leave the choice completely up to ...… You shouldn’t have said that.”
Yours,
For you,
How can a woman who was born and raised for you, ignore your death?
“Even if the flower petals fall, the branches break, and the roots rot……”
Cherry Blossom of Spring.
Lotus flower of sumr.
Chrysanthemum of autumn.
My peach blossoms’ fragrance, which would not be erased even by the plum blossoms of the winter, would stay in your arms and be erased together with you.
If you are a villain, I will beco a wicked woman that will match you.
As long as we can be together, I am willing to endure everything. Even if the direction we are moving toward is not happiness but misfortune.
Once Yuriel finished speaking, she buried her head deeply into Ferzen's chest.
“……”
Ferzen also said nothing more. He just slowly brushed the back of Yuriel's head and hugged her body tenderly.
Despite her sincere words, if nothing changed, what awaited him at the end was his destruction...… There was still no change in those thoughts.
But Ferzen thought that this was enough for now.
Just like when he did not know that the morning had co because the curtains were not drawn.
Her warm embrace made him forget everything for a mont. On top of that, her words of comfort were pleasant to listen to.
That’s right, he himself didn't even know he was hoping for this from her.
If the mont when he had to pull the curtain and look directly at the scenery beyond ca,
A gray sky without the sun and a rotten land filled with a foul odor would greet him...…
As long as he put so color, planted so seeds, and tried to make flowers bloom there, he would not have any regrets.
Destiny was the result of choices that were made.
He didn't want his end to be explained by that la ‘because he's a villain’ /genesisforsaken
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