Before I ca to find Kuro I had already put contingencies in place.
While I sat across from him in this van, Tengu’s n were working through the trailer park systematically. Every unit. Every shed. Every locked vehicle and boarded structure where a pregnant woman could be kept without drawing attention.
I was stalling. Buying ti for soone else to get ahead of this for once.
But if I was being completely honest with myself, the stalling was only half of it. Part of genuinely wanted to hear this. Wanted to understand how a twelve year old boy who watched his family burn grew into the man sitting across from with coffee granules and a nad van and eyes that had been carrying sothing heavy for a very long ti.
Kuro looked at for several seconds after I asked. Then he exhaled through his nose and pushed himself to his feet.
"Going to need coffee for this."
He moved to the small kitchenette built into the corner of Miranda. The space was surprisingly ordered. Cluttered the way lived-in places were cluttered rather than the way abandoned ones were, with books beside a small radio, dishes drying next to the sink, and a corkboard near the fridge holding a collection of photographs I deliberately did not look at too closely.
He opened a cabinet and pulled out a sachet of instant coffee. Tore it open, emptied it into a mug, reached for the electric kettle on the counter. The water was already hot. He poured slowly and the sll filled the trailer imdiately, rich and dark and at odds with everything surrounding this conversation.
He stirred it on the way back to the table.
Sat down.
Set the mug in front of him and wrapped both hands around it.
Neither of us spoke for a mont.
Then he took a sip, set it back down and stared into it.
"No one’s ever actually asked," he said. His voice had lost the sharp edge it usually carried. "Not once. Not what happened after. Not what it was like. Nobody cared enough to wonder."
I said nothing. Interrupting felt wrong in the way interrupting soone mid-confession always felt wrong.
He looked toward the small window. "My family wasn’t perfect. My father was gone most of the ti, work or whatever else, I never fully understood. But when he was ho he made up for it. Made sure we actually felt like a family." A pause. "My mother was beautiful. I know every son says that but I an it differently. She had this quality about her, this way of walking into a room that made the temperature in it change. When she smiled at you it felt like being told sothing would be okay and believing it."
His thumb moved along the side of the mug.
"My brother Ren was an absolute pain in my ass." A short genuine laugh. "Stole my allowance every other week. Beat at every ga we ever played. But if anyone gave trouble at school he was there before I even had to ask." He shook his head. "Never had to say anything either. Ren just showed up."
He was quiet for a mont.
"And Asumi had just started high school." Sothing in his voice changed on her na, the way voices changed when soone was being careful. "She was excited about everything. New uniform. New teachers. New friends. She was exactly like my mother in that way, that thing where life just hadn’t worn her down yet and she hadn’t figured out it would."
He looked at the table.
"And then there was . Kurosawa Aizawa. The most annoying twelve year old in the prefecture by unanimous family vote."
I almost smiled.
"The night of the fire we had dinner." His voice flattened out as he said it, not emotionless but controlled in the way people got controlled when they were handling sothing they had handled many tis before and were still not used to. "My father was actually ho, which made it feel like an occasion. My mother made too much food the way she always did. Ren complained about washing the dishes. Asumi told him to stop whining. We were loud and normal and completely unremarkable." He took a sip of coffee. "Then we went to bed."
The trailer was quiet.
Outside sowhere I could hear birds. The distant movent of another vehicle through the park.
"I couldn’t sleep," Kuro said. "I used to do this thing, climb out of my bedroom window onto the roof when I couldn’t settle. Second floor, sloped roof just outside the window, wide enough to sit on if you didn’t think too hard about it." He looked up briefly. "I liked it up there. The stars, the town spread out below, nothing expecting anything from ." He set the mug down. "I sat up there that night. Probably an hour, maybe more. I was thinking about sothing stupid, so argunt I’d had with Ren earlier, sothing that doesn’t matter and I can’t even fully rember now."
He looked at his hands.
"Then I slled smoke."
The words landed without decoration and that was what made them land.
Kuro did not elaborate imdiately. He sat with it in the way soone sat with sothing they had revisited so many tis it had worn smooth, not sharper with repetition but deeper, like a groove in wood.
And sitting across from him in the cramped warmth of a van nad Miranda, I forgot about Tengu’s n moving through the park outside. Forgot about Rhonda. Forgot about the Chapter of this story I was supposed to be managing.
Because he was not X Reveals right now.
He was not the bunny mask or the distorted voice or the person who had spent a year dismantling my life one carefully released detail at a ti.
He was a boy on a sloped roof in the dark who had just slled smoke.
A few seconds away from losing everything he had ever known.
( to be continued next Chapter.....)
Reviews
All reviews (0)