A/N: Cersei is mad :v
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Like hell was she going to let Robert Baratheon's bastard beco King. Just the thought of it had Cersei Lannister seething as she stares off into nothing in particular. She'd shed all the tears she was going to shed at this point. So many tears that even now her eyes itched from how dry and reddened they were. In the initial days after the death of her sons, Cersei had been nearly catatonic from grief
If she hadn't been, she would have finished the deed herself the mont Robert was found under that rubble alive. She would have gone into his rooms, to his bedside, and strangled him right then and there. Alas, she'd been so out of it that it wasn't until after his final edicts and subsequent death that she'd finally co to her senses.
Only hearing it from the Hand of the King himself had gotten through to her. Robert had legitimized the bastard he thought he'd successfully hidden away from her in the Vale and Jon Arryn was leaving to retrieve him and bring him back so they could crown him King of the Seven Kingdoms.
… Over her dead body. Cersei wasn't about to let sothing like that happen. Her hatred for Robert burned with the passion of a thousand blazing suns at this point. He'd gotten her sons killed. Her beautiful boys, so handso and fierce. They were true Lions, the both of them. Not Stags like Robert thought. Cersei loved her sons with all her heart and she… she wouldn't let their deaths go unavenged.
Fortunately, an opportunity had been presented to her. One that Cersei would be a fool to pass up.
"Cersei…"
Blinking, Cersei pulls herself from her thoughts and looks over to her twin. Jai Lannister stands there with his hand on the poml of his sword, his handso features twisted in agony. She understands, of course. After all, it wasn't just she who lost her sons…
"… Were you even listening to ?"
Unfortunately, she didn't really have ti for Jai at the mont. Not if she was going to make everything work. They would find comfort in one another later, but right now… right now, she needed to be able to focus. Still, she knows her twin is weaker than her. More emotional. Unable to see the bigger picture. He always has been. So she plasters an attentive look on her face.
"Apologies, Jai. You were saying?"
His mournful look of despair only grows heavier as he begins to speak again. Cersei just tunes him out though, already back with her own thoughts even as she does a better job of pretending to listen this ti around. Frankly, she'd been lucky she didn't lose Jai that day as well. Or maybe not lucky so much as… fortunate.
More than half of the Kingsguard had been down there with Robert, Joffrey, and Tomn. It made sense, the three of them had represented not just the King and his male heirs, but also a majority of the Royal Family. But Jai, Cersei could happily say, had been with her. Small rcies, that.
It didn't make it hurt any less though. It didn't remove the gnawing, gaping hole in her chest where her heart had once been. Of her three children, only Myrcella still lived. Her beautiful, wonderful daughter Myrcella. Alas, Myrcella suffered from the sa tragic affliction that Cersei did… she'd been born without a cock.
If Myrcella were male, then Cersei probably wouldn't have even let Jon Arryn and his entourage get outside of the city. The mont the Hand of the King ca to tell her of Robert's last orders; she would have had him killed so that the fat bastard's words died with him. Then, her Myrcella could have ascended to the Iron Throne, a proper Lion as King of the Seven Kingdoms.
… Alas, the Lord Paramounts would not abide by a female ruler, not under any circumstances. That had been tested ti and ti again over the centuries. Not even a female Targaryen had been allowed to rule the Seven Kingdoms. If not for Robert's final decrees, the crown would have gone to Stannis Baratheon by the laws of succession, and Renly Baratheon after him. Disgusting. Filthy Stags, the both of them.
She would see them dead too, of course. Stannis and Renly would both have to die for her plans to succeed. Which is why Cersei was actually glad for Robert's final words to Lord Arryn. By sending Arryn off to the Vale to retrieve his bastard, Robert unknowingly gave Cersei the ti she needed to plan out her next steps.
The bastard wouldn't make it to King's Landing, of course. He wouldn't even make it out of the Vale. Cersei had had such short notice to act, but she'd nevertheless managed to arrange things so that a loyal Lannister man had been inserted into Lord Arryn's retinue. The Hand of the King would unknowingly deliver her justice to Robert's bastard for her. There was sothing so very… poetic about that.
"Cersei, I'm trying to tell you, I knew. I knew all along and-!"
"Did you know I always knew about Robert's bastard in the Vale?"
Cersei cuts Jai off, giving him a wolfish grin as he pauses and blinks at her in confusion.
"What? Cersei, you're still not listening to …"
But Cersei just waves his concerns off.
"I was listening. This is just more important, Jai. The bastard that Robert legitimized. The man who is supposed to beco our new King. I've known about him for over a decade now. And oh how many tis I've tried to kill him."
That causes Jai to freeze up, going pale. Cersei notices but just scoffs and rolls her eyes. He really always had been the weaker of them. If only she'd been born the man and he the woman… everything would have been better for both of them.
"I didn't start out needlessly cruel about it you know. I just couldn't abide by his survival. The first poisons I had them sneak into his als were gentle, ant to send him into a deep, deep slumber that he would never wake from. A kindness, I figured."
"Cersei…"
"But they didn't work, Jai. Every poison I had my agents try on the tyke… didn't work. Nightshade, Powdered Greycap, even Basilisk and Manticore Venom. All procured at great cost from my own personal coffers. All failed. At first I thought I was being betrayed by my agents. So I sent multiple without the first knowing about the second. The first was to deliver the poison, the second was to make sure it happened."
Cersei shakes her head ruefully.
"They reported no reaction. The poisons were definitely slipped into the bastard's food. They were ingested. But nothing happened. Even when I sent a third agent to mind the first two, it was the sa result. No matter what poison I concocted, the boy sohow survived it, growing all the stronger and taller and larger until he was no more a boy, but a full grown man."
"Cersei… why? He was no threat to you. To us."
Looking at her twin askance, Cersei lets out a bark of disbelieving laughter.
"No threat? Jai, look around you! Look at the situation we find ourselves in now! Joffrey and Tomn are… d-dead, along with that fat bastard of a King! Myrcella should be the next in line for the throne, but because of her gender, it will be given to Robert's bastard instead! This never would have happened if he'd had the decency to die years ago, damn it!"
Jai shakes his head, staring at her with big, sorrowful eyes.
"That's not… Myrcella would still be behind Stannis and Renly for the throne, Cersei."
Yes, that was true wasn't it? Cersei just smirks though, pleased to be able to explain things to her twin, her other half. Even if Jai was weaker, well… he still completed her in a way no one else could or ever world.
"They won't be a problem, soon enough. Neither will the bastard, you see. I've sent another assassin along with the Hand's retinue. He's been given a much rarer, far more lethal poison. Robert's bastard will never sit upon the Iron Throne. And Renly and Stannis… we'll deal with them next."
"Cersei…"
But Cersei waves a hand through the air, cutting Jai off.
"Hush Jai. I need to think. Renly is in the city and should be vulnerable, but Stannis is all the way on Dragonstone. Removing him from the board will take a bit more effort…"
Cersei furrows her brow in thought, contemplating the issue for several long monts. Finally, she looks up to ask Jai a question, only to blink in surprise at finding that he's gone, having left at so point. Tch. Sentintal fool. Joffrey and Tomn were dead and he was too busy getting weepy instead of getting revenge. It would have to fall on her, just like it always did…
House Baratheon thought theirs was the fury. But they hadn't seen anything yet…
-x-X-x-
She hadn't listened. Even the second ti, when it looked like she was giving him her full attention, she hadn't heard a single word he said. Jai knew this for a fact because if she HAD been listening, if she had heard what he'd been trying to tell her for days now… she wouldn't have just sat there plotting at him. If she'd actually listened to him, she wouldn't have even been able to look him in the eye.
After all… it was all his fault. Jai knew that Cersei blad Robert for Joffrey and Tomn's deaths, but the truth was so much worse than that. Sure, maybe that damn oaf should have stuck to his drinking and whoring and everything would have been fine. Him deciding to take Joffrey and Tomn on an 'adventure' to see Tomn's discovery certainly hadn't helped to avoid the tragedy, that much was true.
… But really, it was Jai who had gotten them all killed. Four of his brothers in the Kingsguard, both of the Princes… and yet another King. All dead by his hand. All dead… by his inaction.
Jai was the only man alive who had still known about the Wildfire Caches underneath King's Landing. All those years ago, when the Mad King had given Wisdom Rossart the order to set the caches alight and burn the city, Jai had been forced to act. He'd killed Rossart and then he'd killed Aerys too for good asure.
For that, he'd been given the mocking title of Kingslayer, a fancy way of saying he was an Oathbreaker for killing the very King he was supposed to protect. Jai had never told anyone the real reason that he killed Aerys that day. And he'd never told anyone about the wildfire either.
If only he had. If only he'd warned soone, anyone. Then… then the Princes would still live. Jai couldn't care less about Robert fucking Baratheon. But if he'd done sothing, his… Joffrey and Tomn would still be alive. And that… that had been eating away at him like a hot knife carving up his insides every mont of every day since.
His hope had been that Cersei would pass judgnt on him. Out of everyone, she deserved the right, Jai had figured. But she'd been catatonic at first. Grief-stricken and inconsolable. Getting through to her in the initial day or two after the explosion had been impossible even for him.
And now, when she was finally back to herself and actually capable of holding a conversation… she still wouldn't listen to him. She still refused to hear him. No, instead Cersei was too busy plotting the death of more n. Robert's bastard. Stannis and Renly Baratheon.
Jai couldn't care less about those n, truth be told. But Cersei's plans for them brought his twin's vile personality into stark focus. It was like he'd achieved sothing akin to clarity regarding his sister for the first ti in his entire life. Cersei Lannister was a monster. And Jai… Jai wasn't sure he could abide by it, not anymore.
Once he leaves the Queen's Quarters, Jai does not descend down through the Red Keep to the ground. Instead, his feet take him up even as his thoughts drag at him every step of the way. Until eventually, he reaches the top of the Keep, stepping out onto the ramparts. The inside of the Red Keep is kept to a certain scent through the use of a variety of techniques, but once you step outside, the stench of King's Landing hits you like an almost physical force.
Jai rocks back on his heels for a mont but ultimately keeps going, striding forward with his eyes on the blue sky and the distance horizon in front of him.
… He'd thought about doing this the mont he learned how Joffrey and Tomn died. He'd contemplated the act the entire first night afterwards, while Cersei lay catatonic in her bed and he'd stood outside of her quarters, protecting her.
Ultimately, Jai had told himself he had to stay alive. For Cersei and Myrcella if nothing else. He'd told himself he wasn't fit to pass judgnt anyways, that it had to be Cersei. She would be the one to decide his fate once he explained his culpability.
But she refused to listen and now, all these days later, Jai realized that his twin wasn't fit to pass judgnt on him either. In the end… there was only one thing left to do.
With a heavy sigh, Jai takes off his white cloak. He's already tarnished it enough over the years. Folding it up, he sets it aside. Then, he begins to remove his armor. Better to have less between him and the impact to ensure… what needed to happen actually happened.
Finally, Jai climbs up onto the parapet and looks down across the city. From here atop the Red Keep, he can actually see the efforts to dig up and remove the wildfire caches left behind by the Mad King. The entire city is abuzz with such activities… its probably the most coin that has been spent on the people of Flea Bottom in years, turning them all into laborers and workers as part of the arduous process.
… This should have happened decades ago. This should have been one of the first things done after Robert Baratheon beca King and Jon Arryn beca Hand. It might have been if Jai hadn't been such a tight-lipped fool. His silence had killed his brothers in the Kingsguard and… and his sons as well.
Closing his eyes tightly, Jai feels wetness on his cheeks and knows that tears fall across his face. He wishes he were stronger. For Myrcella's sake if nothing else. But… he couldn't. He just couldn't.
"I'm sorry, Myrcella."
With those final words, the Kingslayer takes a step forward… and drops.
-x-X-x-
A/N: Welp.
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