I insist on locking my door properly. After all, I am no fool.
I trust even my drunk self to properly lock a fucking door. In a previous life, I had a traumatic experience.
Never ever will I commit the sa mistake again.
The tragic events happened during one of my days off. I ca ho from work and got busy with a hobby of mine. At the ti I just picked up writing and for once had a chapter written in advance.
I happily went to sleep knowing that I wouldn't have to set an alarm to wake up early the next morning.
But I forgot to lock my door. From this single tiny mistake stemd what should definitely be called a tragedy.
They entered my sacred sanctuary. Defiling it with their greedy hands.
Laughing as they ransacked it. Running all over the place as if they owned it.
Eating my food and making a ss out of everything.
As I laid in my bed my first thought upon awakening was FUCK!
I realized the grave mistake I committed. For not locking my door brought an incredible evil in.
Gone was my peaceful ntal state. Gone was my well-earned sleeping ti.
It was ti for to man up and face this terrible enemy.
To drive it away to the best of my capabilities.
My last thought before facing the imminent battle was: God I hate kids.
So yeah, that was my tragic backstory of the day I missed so sleep and had to clean my whole apartnt after the neighborhood kids raided my place.
All because I forgot to lock the door.
Never again!
And now this lady here is telling I forgot?! How about you shut the fuck up!
I usually wouldn't bother with small custor service mistakes, but attempted murder is a bit too much for .
Like I'm sure everyone would find it irkso a bit even if their na isn't Karen (not related to any real person).
Don't tell not getting killed in your sleep is too much to ask here? Good thing I'm wise and prioritized my passive defense ability.
Otherwise, I'd be dead right now. Possibly a vengeful ghost too.
She gets annoyed at for complaining but like I'm the one that almost died!
She goes to get the manager; eh I an the inn owner.
Hopefully, the conversation will go better this ti.
"Hey there. I'll ask you to leave. You can't bla my establishnt just because you forgot to lock your own door."
Are you fucking kidding ?!
[I. Did. Not. Forget!]
"You were drunk, of course you think you didn't. But you sure did. Now get out. Otherwise, I'll have to ask so of the patrons here to kick you out. This is a rcenary hangout, not soplace anyone can simply spew bullshit and have their ways."
I stand corrected. Not only is that bitch dumb but so is her superior.
Yep, I know what title to use to describe today's events.
The lion, the witch, and the audacity of both of these motherfucking bitches!
Should I fight these guys right about now?
My chances are probably bad. There is no disaster zone nearby. My specialty recently has been to kill with a borrowed knife. Actually, kill with a borrowed giant monster.
Guess I'll have to suck it up for now. But mark my words I will have my revenge soday!
I manage to find my guides. They have already eaten breakfast and have been ready to leave for a while already.
Usually now would be a good ti for an introduction. But they don't seem to care. Neither do I to be honest. Good thing because I'm pretty bad at rembering nas.
Rember Zero's mom? Well, I'm pretty sure I heard her na ntioned in a conversation at so point . but . yeah forgot.
Then again at the ti, I had more serious concerns. Like not letting the fruit of my efforts be reduced to charcoal.
I burn the face of the sneering owner in my mory as we exit the place.
The weather is sunny again. Good ti for gaming kek.
The leader starts a conversation with as we depart.
"We'll move in formation. You stay in the middle. We'll try our best to protect you. That is assuming you didn't hide any information from us about a potential enemy."
[That's totally a flag you know? Can you stop saying that stuff about having enemies? I feel like so are gonna appear from nowhere!]
"I'm just saying. In any case how well can you handle yourself in a fight? Don't lie it's important."
[If there are rank 4s I'm screwed. I can fight rank 3 monsters easily. Not sure about humans.]
"Hum rank 3 beasts? These are usually stronger than their humanoid counterpart. People that strong don't usually request our services. After all, we are mostly rank 2s in our party. I am the only rank 3. If anything my specialty is support too"
[Support? What's that?!]
"A kind of magic that mostly offers assistance rather than direct fighting prowess."
[Can't you just boost yourself directly to fight? How would that matter?]
"Haha, of course ?. But so people out there feel like support mages are worth less than their usual counterpart for they lack destructiveness."
[Please. Still, that's impressive! So you are a mage?!]
"Haha, I just know so basic weapon coating magic. It will boost one's attack power slightly but nothing too significant."
[Wow, still amazing! I wish I could learn magic. Sadly I don't have the required affinity. Well, I'll find a way at so point. I just have other stuff to work on before.]
"I like your drive haha. Most people would have completely given up already. If I can ask why hire rcenaries in the first place?"
[I'm bad with directions. Actually, I could probably figure it out, but I would have to study about it and I'd rather just let soone familiar with the area guide .]
"I see."
We keep walking and walking so more. Mostly in silence. Sotis my party mbers talk about so local landscapes or towns. Other tis so softly hum war songs.
I'll have to learn so at so point. It seems Hella cool. At so point, the leader cos near again.
"I'm surprised you are still alive to be honest. I heard your conversation this morning. So you got robbed. Usually, this kind of event turns into a murder case quickly."
[Oh. They tried. They just didn't manage to break my defense haha.]
"Oh? What about your wolf by the way? Are we not bringing it with us? Because we've been walking for a few hours already."
WAIT WHAT?!
I look all around. Wolfie is nowhere to be seen.
OMFG Wolfie is so smart usually too!?
Where did she go?!
[Fuck we gotta go back!]
".."
And thus I receive strange looks from everyone as we backtrack.
****
We reach the Inn. Or where it was located anyway. It is now gone.
All of it burned to the ground. I've never seen karma act so quickly before. But all that doesn't matter.
Where is Wolfie?!
I co closer and asks the bystanders. There are always bystanders where a fire happens.
It is human nature after all.
None of these have seen any wolf.
I'm about to seriously freak out when I notice a tiny white blur.
[WOLLFIIIIIEEEEEE!]
* DASH AND HUG! *
Fur intact that slls a bit of smoke but no damage whatsoever.
Nice! We got lucky on that one.
Fuck that Inn owner too! Not only is there bad security here but also fire hazards.
How careless can one get?!
That's when I hear soone start screaming!
"YOU! IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT! THAT DAMN WOLF OF YOURS BURNED EVERYTHING! PAY UP MOTHERFUCKER! I'LL HAVE YOU ARRESTED AND!"
OMG. That fucking asshole. Blaming for not locking my door? Fine. Not giving a shit about my complaints? Fine. Trying to fra Wolfie? Fuck that guy.
[Are you telling a wolf did that kind of damage?! Own the fuck up for your own mistakes!]
I approach him
"YOU ARE GOING TO JAIL YOU CRAZY PERSON! EVERYONE, HE'S THE CULPRIT FOR ALL THIS DESTRUCTION! QUICK APPREHEND HIM!"
And I slap.
* SLAP SLAP SLAP SLAP*
Want to act like a bitch? Get fucking bitch-slapped!
"QUICK SOO-OUCH STOP-OUCH-IT HURTS- THIS -OUCH-MADMAN!"
A rcenary angrily heads my way. Oh no, you don't!
Full power divine enhancent.
And I bitch-slap.
The newcor falls to the ground.
The rcenaries swarm . I deal with them one bitch-slap at a ti.
* SLAP THUD SLAP THUD SLAP THUD . etc. *
I look at the scene around . Bunch of unconscious rcenaries.
An Inn owner that is barely recognizable. His face is so swollen it's questionable if he is human.
Yep. Guess I was overthinking this.
I should have done this from the start.
Oh well, that's what they get for acting mighty.
Bunch of fucking paper tigers. For real.
These guys are even weaker than the rank 2 fox.
Like c'mon.
[Alright. Let's head out. Should I finish this asshole before we go? He might act up later on]
"NO PWEASE I'M SOWWWY YOU WEONT EVER SWEE AGAIN I SWEEEAR!"
[Ahfine. Let's get the fuck out of here.]
Oh yeah. If anyone asks today's event shall have a very specific title in the ballads dedicated to .
The lion, the witch, and the audacity of all these bitches. So anyway, I started bitch-slapping.
Ah. now would be the perfect ti for gaming I tell you.
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