How does one explain blowing up most of the savings dealing with a random rchant and losing money to officials at that?
The first one is totally my mistake, the second is I guess I should have stayed hidden.
Thing is I didn't know about it. It be like when you be drinking for the first ti in your life and mix a few drinks. You go wine, vodka, beer, champagne, Rhum, sake, then repeat a few tis until BARFFFF.
That's how I feel like now. Was I supposed to run away when I saw so people do the sa? Perhaps.
But I do have a plan! Rember the contingencies recomnded when a plan fails? Ti for #2. Motherfucking scapegoat ti lol.
When I do get back, my cooking instructor asks what happened to the money. Why the sum is lower than expected. And I tell her that I did have to pay a tax from city collectors. I describe the young master guy in great detail and gloss over the number of actual coins taken. Not that I do know it anyway.
Perfect plan. Now I am safe from any reprisals. She won't dig into the issue either since there are officials involved! Perfect plan. And..she leaves stomping angrily.
Don't tell she plans to fight the city itself?
Probably not. I'm sure I'm just imagining things.
She'll be fine right? Of course!
She is a calm and thoughtful lady. A scary one nonetheless, but cool and clear-headed.
Yes, everything will be fine. No, I am not lying to myself.
I am now a lost puppy without any direction. Should I get to pie baking again? Probably better to wait for her to be back so she can provide counsel.
Ti to train to fight! Wait that sounds way too plain.
Epic challenge ti until I beco a master with the pointy thing! Yes, that pointy thing calleda sword!
Now, this gonna be good. Fight scene!
Spoiler I get my ass kicked a lot. I get so destroyed I'd rather not ntion it. At all.
My cooking instructor returns shortly after, not sure what happened, but she looks happy. I'm relieved to see everything went well.
So what I decide to do is to alternate between getting wrecked and cooking so pie.
I will repeat it until I am the bestest! Ain't a real word? It should be!
I use my secret technique to speed up the training. Motherfucking baking montage yo!
Please note sword training also happens in the background while I am singing.
Here goes nothing. This song is dedicated to all the pies in the world!
First one to find the original song gets a virtual pie from yours truly haha.
You better listen to that shit and sing along lol.
( o )
You burnt away, you left out here on the floor
Doesn't matter, you're still the one that I adore
You gave sothing like no food did before
Woah Woah
****
If I close my eyes, all I see
Is you right burning right in front of
You're on my mind constantly
Now I can't get no sleep
****
All day and night , you keep up
Non-stop, I'm not done yeah
I'm not baking you well enough
Oh my love, I'm not done, yeah
****
I bla myself, I broke my heart ssing you
You hard to cook now I'm bleeding from the truth
You left helpless, I don't know what to do
Woah, woah
****
Repeat refrain, close my eyes blabla
All day and night you keep up blabla
****
No sleep, na-na-na-na
No sleep, na-na-na-na
I think about you day and night, now I can't get no sleep
No sleep, na-na-na-na
No sleep, na-na-na-na
I think about you day and night, now I can't get no sleep
No sleep, na-na-na-na
No sleep, na-na-na-na
****
All day and night you keep up
Non-stop, I'll keep baking, yeah
I'm giving my all, not enough
All my skills, I'm not done, yeah
All day and night you keep up
****
Repeat the no sleep part blabla
Repeat the thinking about you day and night blabla.
( o )
And that's how it goes. Until finally! Motherfucking finally! I do manage to bake a pie that is not burnt and. actually, tastes amazing!
I'm so touched when it happens that I start crying. Right there and then.
My ntor is super impressed, mostly about the fact that it takes as long as 2 months to get it right. But none of it matters!
I am finally done with cooking! I am a master chef! Ti for to start my own tv show! I had the cursing mastered a while back, now I have the cooking!
As a side note, I did find a way to make sure whatever I cook is not poisonous. A small trick with divine energy, but honestly, it's barely worth ntioning. Well, it does an that I can cook for others too now! Nice!
Wait doesn't that an I am not unskilled labor anymore! OMG, this might be really good. Imma cry again.
Oh yeah, I also trained hard with the sword. All thanks to Zero. He is a wonderful teacher. Super patient. Showing slowly. I need to admit his control is super duper aweso. He can increase or decrease his power by units of 0.0001%. Like who seriously can do that?!
Where was Wolfie while all of this happened? Mostly eating pie on the side. Not my pies obviously. The ones Zero's mother cooked. What a traitor haha.
That brings us to today. My swordsmanship graduation ceremony. We are standing in the small courtyard in the back. We have snacks and beverages, nonalcoholic ones, however like why?! But anyway, Zero cos closer.
"Sectmaster. Training you has been an utmost pleasure. You started from far and you progressed a lot! At first, I was concerned a bit by the way you handled the sword. However! Now I can confidently say that the chances of you stabbing yourself with your own weapon are extrely low!"
* Pachi pachi pachi pachi. * (Yes, I taught him that move)
I did waste so many resources I would have driven a normal family to ruin, but Zero's father is actually a rank 3 hunter and a damn good one at that. Oh, and the mother is like a super chef. So overall they don't mind much.
It doesn't change the fact that today is a day of glory! A day to be proud of my achievents!
A day of bliss and celebration!
Yep, I'm going to the tavern after this.
I an obviously. Duh!
Ti to get shitfaced!
This ti nothing weird will happen afterward.
I swear. hope!
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