Yuki’s PoV:
I never thought I’d know what it felt like to be happy.
Not truly happy, anyway… The kind of happiness that makes your chest feel warm and your heart feel light like you’re floating off the ground. The kind of happiness that makes you forget for a mont, all the things that are wrong with you.
But now… now I think I know.
I was sat on the engawa, my chitinous limbs folded neatly beneath . Their glossy black surface caught the faint glow of the lanterns. The garden itself was quiet, save for the soft rustling of leaves and the distant chirping of crickets. The koi pond shimred under the daylight as if the rippling surface was dancing.
I just couldn’t stop smiling.
Yesterday had been… perfect. Markus had been there as always, but his presence was comforting in a way I couldn’t quite explain. He didn’t look at like I was a monster, like I was sothing to be feared or pitied.
He just… saw . Really saw . Even Nora, for all her clinginess and pouting, was a fiery spirit that made laugh, even when she was being difficult like always.
For the first ti in my life, I felt like I belonged sowhere.
I leaned back, my antennae twitching slightly as I stared up at the looming clouds. They were scattered across the sky, like dark swabs of cotton. I wondered if Markus and Nora were looking at them too, if they were thinking about the sa things I was.
I hoped they were.
It hadn’t always been like this. Before Markus and Nora, my world had been small, suffocating, almost like a cage I couldn’t escape. My family’s estate, as beautiful as it was with its sprawling gardens and elegant rooms, had always felt more like a prison than a ho.
My glossy black limbs, my purple eyes, my antennae… they marked as sothing different, sothing strange.
I had spent so much of my life hiding, trying to make myself smaller, quieter, less noticeable. I had no friends, no one to talk to, no one who really understood what it was like to be… . I had resigned myself to a life of loneliness, of quiet despair.
But then… then I t Markus.
It had been an accident. I had been wandering near the backyard of his house, my emotions heavy with the sway of my loneliness. He was busy playing with Nora, his laughter ringing out like music as they chased each other around.
I had been too afraid to approach him at first. I had always been told to stay away from other lesser people, that they would never understand or accept .
But sothing about Markus had drawn in, sothing warm and… sothing comforting.
And then he saw .
“Hey!” he had called, raising a hand in a friendly wave. “Do you want to co play with us?”
I was too scared to respond. No one had ever asked sothing like that to before. No one had ever looked at like he did.
Nora had been wary of , a sight I had grown accustod to. Her hazel eyes narrowing as she watched from a distance. But Markus had just smiled, his dark eyes filled with a kindness that made my body flutter with feelings I didn’t recognize.
Ever since that day, everything had changed. Markus had beco my world, the drifting light in this familiar darkness. He didn’t care about my family’s status or my… peculiarities. He didn’t care that I was different. To him, I was just Yuki.
And for the first ti in my life, I felt like that was enough.
Markus gave sothing to look forward to every day. His friendly nature, his laughter… it was like a lifeline, pulling out of the shadows and into the light. And Nora, for all her wariness, was still a friend I considered dear.
I sighed, my antennae twitching as I leaned forward, my purple eyes reflecting the ripples in the koi pond. The water shimring with lights, flickering, like an alluring performance.
I wished I could stay like this forever, stuck in this mont, with Markus’s warmth taking away my worries. But deep down, I knew it wouldn’t last, not for soone as unappealing as .
The thought made my chest tighten, and I clenched my hands into fists, nails digging into my palms. I didn’t want to lose this. I didn’t want to go back into the shrouded darkness… to the loneliness; to the cold, suffocating silence of my family’s estate.
But I didn’t have a choice.
I never did.
Tears welled in my eyes. I didn’t try to stop them. They dropped, tear after tear, trailing down my cheeks as I stared at the koi pond, the ripples in the water blurring with my reddening eyes.
I didn’t want to go back.
I didn’t want to be alone again.
But the world had never cared about what I wanted.
And neither did my family.
I had been locked in my room all day.
…
The sound of rain began to patter softly against the roof, a gentle sound that used to calm my nerves.
But to , it felt like the world was weeping. I sat on the edge of my futon, my chitinous limbs folded tightly against my body as my antennae drooped low.
The room was dark, save for the faint glow of the lantern outside my window, casting long, flickering shadows across the tatami mats.
No explanation, no warning, just the sharp click of the lock turning, sealing away from everything I ever wanted. From Markus. From the only happiness I had ever known.
I pressed my forehead against the confining walls that seed to grow smaller by the minute. My breath fogged against my hands. My chest ached, a hollow, gnawing pain that refused to go away; like a vicious parasite.
I had spent hours staring out the window, watching the clouds gather and darken, hoping against hope that Markus might appear, that he might sohow know I was trapped here and co to rescue .
But he didn’t.
Of course he didn’t.
The rain grew heavier, its steady drumming filling the silence in the room.
I closed my eyes, thinking back to fond monts; hiss laughter, the way his face lit up when he smiled, the way he never let feel like I was left behind, like I was a burden.
But the mories felt distant now, like they were slipping through my fingers, fading away from my reach.
And then I heard it, the soft, deliberate sound of footsteps approaching my door.
My heart leapt into my throat, my antennae twitching as I scrambled back to my corner. The lock clicked, and the door slid open with a shudder.
My mother stood in the doorway, her presence commanding, otherworldly. She was beautiful in a way that was almost unsettling, her raven hair cascading down her back like a waterfall of silk.
Her insect-like features felt delicate as her half-lidded eyes glowed faintly in the dim light.
Even her centipede legs truly set her apart. The elegant, glossy black limbs that arched gracefully from her back, like the strokes of a calligrapher’s brush.
She was the picture of refinent, of power… of.. of everything I could never hope to be.
“Yuki,” she said, her voice smooth and lodic, but with an edge that made my skin crawl.
I swallowed hard, my throat dry. “Mother.”
She stepped into the room, her legs moving with a quiet grace that made the space feel smaller, more suffocating. The rain outside seed to grow louder, its rhythm more insistent, as if it were trying to drown out the tension in the air.
“You’ve been spending too much ti outside,” she said, her tone calm but firm. “It’s unbecoming.”
I clenched my hands into fists, my nails digging into my palms. “I… I was just playing with friends.”
“Friends?” Her lips curved into a faint, disdainful smile. “Those… children? They are beneath you, Yuki. You are a Kurohara. You have a duty to this family.”
My chest tightened, the ache in my heart growing sharper. “They’re my friends,” I whispered, my voice trembling. “They make happy.”
My mother’s expression didn’t change. “Happiness is a luxury you cannot afford. You are to be betrothed.”
The words hit like a blow, knocking the air from my lungs. I stared at her, my antennae stiffening as my mind struggled to process what she had just said.
“B-Betrothed?” I stamred, my voice barely above a whisper.
“To the son of the Sanjo family,” she continued, as if she were discussing the weather. “A suitable match. You will et him tomorrow.”
The room seed to spin around , the shadows closing in as the rain outside grew louder, more frantic. My chest felt like it was being crushed, the weight of her words pressing down on until I could barely breathe.
“No,” I whispered, my voice breaking. “Please… I don’t want to marry him. I don’t even know him!”
My mother’s gaze was cold, unyielding. “It doesn’t matter what you want. You will do your duty.”
Tears spilled down my cheeks, hot and relentless, as I shook my head. “I just… I just want to keep this. Please… don’t take them away from .”
My voice cracked, the words spilling out raw and desperate. “He’s the only one who’ve ever looked at like I’m… like I’m worth sothing. Like I’m not a mistake. Please… don’t make lose that.”
The plea hung in the air, fragile and trembling, like a thread about to snap. But my mother’s expression flickered slightly as if what I said had shaken her.
But if anything, it grew colder, her centipede legs shifting slightly, their glossy surface catching the faint light as if to remind of the distance between us, between who I was and who she expected to be.
“Sentintality is a weakness,” she said, her voice cutting through the rain like a blade. “And weakness has no place in this family. You will do as you are told.”
She turned and left the room, her legs moving with that sa, infuriating elegance. The door slid shut behind her, the lock clicking into place with a click once again, that ensured my heart remained shattered.
I sank to the floor, my chitinous limbs curling tightly around as I buried my face in my hands. The rain outside was a torrent now, the furious rhythm echoing, the storm raging inside .
I didn’t want this. I didn’t want to be betrothed, to be locked away, to lose the only light I had ever known. But the world had never cared about what I wanted.
And neither did my mother.
Alone in the dark, with the rain pounding against the roof.
~~~
I stayed seated in the corner of my room, my chitinous limbs folded tightly against my body, my antennae drooping low.
I couldn’t stay here.
I couldn’t let her take this away from … take him away from .
I glanced around the room, my purple eyes scanning for any possible way out. The window was my only hope, but it was high up, and the drop to the ground below was steep.
I moved quickly, my chitinous limbs carrying to the window with urgency. I untied the drapes, my hands trembling in fright as I worked the knots loose.
I tied one end securely to the wooden rod, tugging on it to test its strength. It held.
Soon I tossed the other end out of the window, watching as it unfurled. The rain soaked it almost imdiately, but it didn’t matter. This was my only chance.
I climbed onto the windowsill, my heart pounding in my chest. The wind whipped at my face, the rain stinging my skin, stripping bare to the feelings I bore, as I peered down at the ground below.
It was a long way down, and the thought of falling made my stomach churn. But the thought of staying, of losing Markus, was worse.
I just wanted to see him.
I gripped the silk tightly, my chitinous limbs trembling as I lowered myself over the ledge. The fabric strained under my weight, but it seed steady enough.
I descended slowly, almost slow enough to a crawl. My feet slipped against the wet stone of the house’s exterior. My arms ached, my muscles scread, my hands raw from the effort. But I didn’t stop. I couldn’t.
When my feet finally touched the ground, I nearly collapsed with relief. But there was no ti to rest. The rain was coming down harder now, the wind howling like a wounded animal.
I pulled my clothes like a hood to cloak over my head, though it did little to shield from the storm.
And I just ran. Ran… ran as far enough as my legs could take .
The path to the playground was a blur of mud and rain. My feet slipped and slid with every step, but I pushed forward, driven by a desperate hope.
My clothes were soaked thoroughly, clinging to my body like molted skin. But I didn’t care. All my thoughts, my actions, my entire being at that mont were centred towards Markus.
I tripped and fell, my knees scraping against the rough ground. A sharp and imdiate pain shot through , but I forced myself to get back up.
My hands were muddy, my body bruised and battered, but I kept going. I had to.
The playground was just ahead, its familiar sight barely visible through the rain. My body pounded against the rain, tempered by the storm that swept away everything in sight.
I reached the gate of the playground, my breath coming in ragged gasps as I scanned the area.
It was empty.
Of course it was empty. No one would be out in this rain. No one but .
A decrepating laughter crept out of my lips.
The futile effort crushed my very expectations. I sank to my knees as the rain washed over . Cold and unrelenting, uncaring; all the while as I stared at the empty, the deserted swings. Markus wasn’t here. No one sane would be here. Not in this storm.
Tears mixed with the rain on my cheeks, my chest heaving with sobs I couldn’t hold back. I had risked everything to co here, to see him one last ti, and it had been for nothing. I was alone. Again.
But then, I felt it… a gentle touch on my shoulder. Startled, I turned, my heart leaping into my throat.
It was Markus.
He stood there, holding an umbrella, his dark eyes boring at with concern. His hair was damp, his clothes slightly rumpled, but he was here. He was here.
I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t move. All I could do was stare at him, my chest aching with a mix of relief and sothing darker, sothing I couldn’t quite put a finger on.
My antennae twitched, straining toward him as if drawn by an invisible force. My hands trembled, not just from the cold, but from the overwhelming need to be closer to him, to have him all to myself.
“Markus,” I finally managed to whisper, my voice breaking. “Why… why are you still here?”
He smiled faintly, his expression softening. “You promised you’d be here today,” he said simply, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. “I was waiting for you.”
His words struck like a lightning bolt, piercing through the storm and the despair that had consud .
He had waited for . In the rain, in the cold, in the darkness. He had waited because I had promised. Because he believed in .
Sothing inside shattered and beca whole again, a fragile but gaining warmth spreading through my chest. My breath hitched, as I felt tears welling up again
He knelt beside , the umbrella shielding us both from the rain. His hand reached out, brushing a strand of wet hair from my face.
“You’re hurt,” he murmured, his eyes scanning the scrapes and bruises on my arms and legs. “What happened?”
I opened my mouth to answer, but no words ca out. Instead, I threw my arms around him, burying my face in his chest.
He was caught off guard for a mont, then wrapped his arms around , holding tightly.
“It’s okay,” he whispered, his voice soothing. “I’ve got you.”
I clung to him, my fingers stabbing into the seams of his shirt. His warmth, his scent, the steady rhythm of his heartbeat; it was all I could focus on.
The storm around us faded into the background, drowned out by the sound of his voice, the feel of his arms around . I never wanted to let go. I wouldn’t let go. I never wanted to share him with anyone else.
In that mont, I realized how much I needed him. Not just his kindness or his friendship, but him. All of him.
Even the thought of losing him, of soone else taking him away from ... made sothing inside twist painfully, like tearing my body sinew by sinew.
My chest tightened, and I held him even closer, close enough so I could keep him with forever, just by sheer will of it.
“Markus,” I whispered, my voice trembling. “Don’t leave . Please.”
He pulled back slightly, his dark eyes searching mine. “I’m not going anywhere,” he said, his tone gentle but firm. “You’re safe with .”
But safe wasn’t enough. I wanted more. I wanted him to see the way I saw him, to need the way I needed him. The thought burned in my chest, calling out to to claim him.
I didn’t just want him to be my friend. I wanted him to be mine. Completely. Irrevocably.
Reviews
All reviews (0)